Sometimes you have to learn to let go
I am so
fucking
stressed out.
I've come to the conclusion that I am, and will always be sick for no apparent reason other than having bad genes? So every single school year is a struggle with all of my absences and this year is especially bad being my junior year and I guess thats the year colleges look at.
I'm starting to debate whether or not I even want to go to college and why I'm trying so hard to pass this year when everyone/everything else is making it so hard for me.
Maybe I should just give up.. maybe then I wouldn't be so god damn stressed out.
And maybe then my boyfriend and I wouldn't have so many problems because I wouldn't be AS stressed out as usual.
What the hell is wrong with me? I don't even want to try at all this year, seriously.
It wasn't even this bad last year, but then again I was on 1028 different medications.
I swear to god.. if I do put more effort into getting all of my work done and they fail me for absences I will NOT be coming back for my senior year. I love how all the teachers say they WANT you to pass.. but in reality none of them actually care.. thats why they pull all kinds of bullshit when you're absent alot.. I have doctor's notes and everything so it's not like I'm out of school smoking pot or anything.
Still they insist on punishing me for my absenses.. because apparently it's a crime to be sick.
God forbid they ever had ANYTHING I do though.. I bet they would tell me I could be out as much as I wanted.. and they would apologize for being inconsiderate jerks.
Either way, I hope all of this makes me a stronger person.. and I will learn how to push myself and hopefully I will do well this year.. and eventually I WILL get into a college.. and it will be a good one.
Maybe I should try and do SOME work.. but I wouldn't even know where to start.
I watched American Idol tonight. I want to do it. Not even to win or whatever but just to do it.. I think it would be really fun.. I also want to be on Degrassi
This makes me think I should make a list.. of all the things I want to do in my life..
I want to be enthusiastic about that, but I would probably make a list of things I would never ever accomplish..
because I'm just that.. cool.
fucking
stressed out.
I've come to the conclusion that I am, and will always be sick for no apparent reason other than having bad genes? So every single school year is a struggle with all of my absences and this year is especially bad being my junior year and I guess thats the year colleges look at.
I'm starting to debate whether or not I even want to go to college and why I'm trying so hard to pass this year when everyone/everything else is making it so hard for me.
Maybe I should just give up.. maybe then I wouldn't be so god damn stressed out.
And maybe then my boyfriend and I wouldn't have so many problems because I wouldn't be AS stressed out as usual.
What the hell is wrong with me? I don't even want to try at all this year, seriously.
It wasn't even this bad last year, but then again I was on 1028 different medications.
I swear to god.. if I do put more effort into getting all of my work done and they fail me for absences I will NOT be coming back for my senior year. I love how all the teachers say they WANT you to pass.. but in reality none of them actually care.. thats why they pull all kinds of bullshit when you're absent alot.. I have doctor's notes and everything so it's not like I'm out of school smoking pot or anything.
Still they insist on punishing me for my absenses.. because apparently it's a crime to be sick.
God forbid they ever had ANYTHING I do though.. I bet they would tell me I could be out as much as I wanted.. and they would apologize for being inconsiderate jerks.
Either way, I hope all of this makes me a stronger person.. and I will learn how to push myself and hopefully I will do well this year.. and eventually I WILL get into a college.. and it will be a good one.
Maybe I should try and do SOME work.. but I wouldn't even know where to start.
I watched American Idol tonight. I want to do it. Not even to win or whatever but just to do it.. I think it would be really fun.. I also want to be on Degrassi
This makes me think I should make a list.. of all the things I want to do in my life..
I want to be enthusiastic about that, but I would probably make a list of things I would never ever accomplish..
because I'm just that.. cool.