Buzzed of me
October 2, 2009
I think I might be slightly bipolar. I was very lethargic and lacked ambition the past 6 months or so. Now, I feel this sudden urge to get as many productive things as I can complete. I feel like I get a high off of completing school-related tasks. I’m a little buzzed right now because I’ve been drinking wine coolers. :D Man, those things hit me fast and they hit me good.
I have not written in a long time but I feel I should. Hmmm… so let me spit it out. Myriam came into town yesterday and I don’t like that one bit. I mean I don’t think that Shayne are her are communicating but I don’t like her being here. I’m not going out tonight because I have the session to go to tomorrow morning and I would rather get started on my geology review. However, I honestly don’t mind if Shayne goes out. I will bother me if he runs into her though. I don’t hate having to deal with this issue because I feel like Shayne truly loves me. I mean, he came to talk to my parents… he acts very kindly toward me, etc. I guess I just don’t like what happened. Nothing else is bad. He is a very good boyfriend to me and he even wants to “support” me. Ha ha ha… juicy.
He was the one that actually advised me to resign from State Farm and focus on school 100%. I think that his advise made a huge difference in my life. He motivated me. I mean, it’s true, why do I want to work if I’m going to use up that money on unnecessary things? Anyway, for the first time I feel like Shayne is not an emotional burden. He is giving me my space but is also demonstrating his love. Although, sometimes he acts a bit outrageous, and that does bothers me. I think it was last Tuesday he went out and got completely trashed because I went out that previous Friday and unintentionally got extremely wasted with my friends. I kept drinking wine because I was in a bad mood because the night was so disorganized due to the rain. Whatever. He was so angry because I didn’t call him when I got to Vanessa’s… he wanted to meet up but I think after he realized how “gone” I was he just wanted to know I had arrived to a final destination safely. I didn’t call him because he didn’t answer my text or call and I figured he was asleep … plus I didn’t want to wake him up… I don’t remember obviously. But the next morning I woke up to like several missed calls and text messages from him confirming that he was worried about me. So, yeah. I completely understand why he was upset but he didn’t have to deliberately get wasted that following Tuesday. And I know it was intentional because as he was driving to go with his friends I told him that it bothered me he was going out on a Tuesday night and he justified his actions with my actions on Friday. Riiiight. Anyway, we resolved that and he even took me out to dinner the next day but I told him that just because he makes up for his actions does not make it okay for him to do those things. He hypocritically judged me in the summer when I did something similar so that’s something that added to the situation of why his actions bothered me.
Then, this past Friday he went psycho when he found out I gave a random acquaintance from high school my number at Peoria… the guy called me when I was with him. He like yelled and kicked the door… I think that was the first time Shayne acted that way in front of me towards me. I mean I’ve seen him lose his temper but it was never because of me. He apologized but I was still a bit concerned about his DRR. At least he’s going to you know what!!! Uh okay I feel super buzzed. Ha ha. Ummm maybe I should work on my finances! I need to figure out how much I’m going to need in order to make credit card and car payments if I don’t work. Uuuh… I’m excited to go to my session tomorrow so I can dedicate an entire day of analyzing myself to myself. Wow. Redundant? Who cares! I feel good.
I think I might be slightly bipolar. I was very lethargic and lacked ambition the past 6 months or so. Now, I feel this sudden urge to get as many productive things as I can complete. I feel like I get a high off of completing school-related tasks. I’m a little buzzed right now because I’ve been drinking wine coolers. :D Man, those things hit me fast and they hit me good.
I have not written in a long time but I feel I should. Hmmm… so let me spit it out. Myriam came into town yesterday and I don’t like that one bit. I mean I don’t think that Shayne are her are communicating but I don’t like her being here. I’m not going out tonight because I have the session to go to tomorrow morning and I would rather get started on my geology review. However, I honestly don’t mind if Shayne goes out. I will bother me if he runs into her though. I don’t hate having to deal with this issue because I feel like Shayne truly loves me. I mean, he came to talk to my parents… he acts very kindly toward me, etc. I guess I just don’t like what happened. Nothing else is bad. He is a very good boyfriend to me and he even wants to “support” me. Ha ha ha… juicy.
He was the one that actually advised me to resign from State Farm and focus on school 100%. I think that his advise made a huge difference in my life. He motivated me. I mean, it’s true, why do I want to work if I’m going to use up that money on unnecessary things? Anyway, for the first time I feel like Shayne is not an emotional burden. He is giving me my space but is also demonstrating his love. Although, sometimes he acts a bit outrageous, and that does bothers me. I think it was last Tuesday he went out and got completely trashed because I went out that previous Friday and unintentionally got extremely wasted with my friends. I kept drinking wine because I was in a bad mood because the night was so disorganized due to the rain. Whatever. He was so angry because I didn’t call him when I got to Vanessa’s… he wanted to meet up but I think after he realized how “gone” I was he just wanted to know I had arrived to a final destination safely. I didn’t call him because he didn’t answer my text or call and I figured he was asleep … plus I didn’t want to wake him up… I don’t remember obviously. But the next morning I woke up to like several missed calls and text messages from him confirming that he was worried about me. So, yeah. I completely understand why he was upset but he didn’t have to deliberately get wasted that following Tuesday. And I know it was intentional because as he was driving to go with his friends I told him that it bothered me he was going out on a Tuesday night and he justified his actions with my actions on Friday. Riiiight. Anyway, we resolved that and he even took me out to dinner the next day but I told him that just because he makes up for his actions does not make it okay for him to do those things. He hypocritically judged me in the summer when I did something similar so that’s something that added to the situation of why his actions bothered me.
Then, this past Friday he went psycho when he found out I gave a random acquaintance from high school my number at Peoria… the guy called me when I was with him. He like yelled and kicked the door… I think that was the first time Shayne acted that way in front of me towards me. I mean I’ve seen him lose his temper but it was never because of me. He apologized but I was still a bit concerned about his DRR. At least he’s going to you know what!!! Uh okay I feel super buzzed. Ha ha. Ummm maybe I should work on my finances! I need to figure out how much I’m going to need in order to make credit card and car payments if I don’t work. Uuuh… I’m excited to go to my session tomorrow so I can dedicate an entire day of analyzing myself to myself. Wow. Redundant? Who cares! I feel good.