ugh.
Home right now because I feel like a million little painful insects are eating my brain with all kinds of horrible poisons on their teeth. Yep. Just like that. Just like...that.
I feel like I'm missing out on something. Okay, not really missing out on something but I feel like I'm missing someone. I'm missing someone that is actually in my life right now practically every day but I don't know who that person really is anymore. I've know them for practically all the years of the important part of my life and I think what was perfect, really isn't anymore. I really love this person. Truly. And with every part of my heart. I wouldn't say they're being taken away from me or anything...being stolen. That sounds so second grade. Ugh. Nevermind. I'm starting to feel selfish that I want this person to rely on me more, to put their full faith in me, to have me be a source of fulfillment every now and then. I realize what happens when people are in love. I realize things have to revolve around that person 100% of the time. However, I have always defied that. I don't like having my world rest upon one person's shoulders because what will happen if that person collapses? This is why I try and do the little things every now and then for my friends whether I'm single or not. It's about making sacrifices and it's about dividing up your world. I hope as I say this no one is thinking "Wow, Megan, you're a hypocrite because you always rely on one person." I hope that is not the case because atleast in my mind, I do not. And until someone tells me otherwise, I will keep on thinking that.
Anyway, now that I have completely upset myself, I think I'm going to sleep. Sleeping away everything that was today and knowing that tomorrow is going to be so much better.
"Dear Roberta Sparrow, I have reached the end of your book and... there are so many things that I need to ask you. Sometimes I'm afraid of what you might tell me. Sometimes I'm afraid that you'll tell me that this is not a work of fiction. I can only hope that the answers will come to me in my sleep. I hope that when the world comes to an end, I can breathe a sigh of relief, because there will be so much to look forward to." Oh, Donnie Darko...how I love thee.
I feel like I'm missing out on something. Okay, not really missing out on something but I feel like I'm missing someone. I'm missing someone that is actually in my life right now practically every day but I don't know who that person really is anymore. I've know them for practically all the years of the important part of my life and I think what was perfect, really isn't anymore. I really love this person. Truly. And with every part of my heart. I wouldn't say they're being taken away from me or anything...being stolen. That sounds so second grade. Ugh. Nevermind. I'm starting to feel selfish that I want this person to rely on me more, to put their full faith in me, to have me be a source of fulfillment every now and then. I realize what happens when people are in love. I realize things have to revolve around that person 100% of the time. However, I have always defied that. I don't like having my world rest upon one person's shoulders because what will happen if that person collapses? This is why I try and do the little things every now and then for my friends whether I'm single or not. It's about making sacrifices and it's about dividing up your world. I hope as I say this no one is thinking "Wow, Megan, you're a hypocrite because you always rely on one person." I hope that is not the case because atleast in my mind, I do not. And until someone tells me otherwise, I will keep on thinking that.
Anyway, now that I have completely upset myself, I think I'm going to sleep. Sleeping away everything that was today and knowing that tomorrow is going to be so much better.
"Dear Roberta Sparrow, I have reached the end of your book and... there are so many things that I need to ask you. Sometimes I'm afraid of what you might tell me. Sometimes I'm afraid that you'll tell me that this is not a work of fiction. I can only hope that the answers will come to me in my sleep. I hope that when the world comes to an end, I can breathe a sigh of relief, because there will be so much to look forward to." Oh, Donnie Darko...how I love thee.