Insignificantly Important.
~Sigh~
There are times I feel like I don’t know myself or more like I don’t understand myself. Times in which I think I have my emotions under control and a minute later they’re all a mess again.
I go on most of the days believing I don’t have enough drama in my life, but I think I have more than enough with myself. I mean, trying to order out my feelings, thoughts, and emotions is sure tough and takes up lots of my time. And is not an easy thing to do either.
Right now I feel my head is about to explode. I know what you people that know me are thinking “What on earth is this chick saying? She’s always so mellow and passive, there’s nothing complicated about her life. Stop being such a drama queen.”… well maybe I AM being a drama queen (for once) but I have a good reason for it which I do not plan on discussing right now thank you.
Everything gets to me. To different points and maybe not right away but it does. At times even things that aren’t there! You know what my problem is?! I pay too much attention to insignificant things in a conversation.
~Sigh~
Funny thing too, those “insignificant things” matter more than one might think. By saying insignificant things I mean the tone of voice, the timing, and spacing between words, facial gestures, body movements, also the choice of vocabulary, and maybe even breathing patterns. These all matter when it comes to figuring out what your friend really means or wants to tell you. And if you pay close enough attention you won’t need to hear what your friend will say next because you might already know. It’s pretty funky.
**The tone of voice can express feelings: anger, sadness, happiness, etc. Obvious.
**The timing as well as the spacing between words can reveal confidence or nervousness.
**Facial & body gestures can tell you the speaker’s feelings and if the speaker is being honest our bull-shitting like hell. Here are some clues to figure out if someone’s lying:
-He/She is focusing on facial gestures more than on normal body movements.
-Their ayes will narrow. Lying causes stress.
-No eye contact. The speaker’s eyes will look away. If the room has a means of egress - that's where they'll look.
-Crossing of arms and/or legs (a protective instinct).
-Hands on the face, especially the mouth. They are "covering" the lie.
-Talking fast. A liar wants to get it over with.
-Sometimes the head will nod a "no" when answering a "yes" question or visa versa. This is a subconcious movement.
-Mispronouncing the words or mumbling. A liar kinda thinks he is not lying when he pronounces words incorrectly or mumbles.
-Overreactions. Overstated friendliness/laughing. He wants you to believe and he wants you to like him so you will believe him.
**The choice of words can tell the purpose of the conversation. If the speaker is using words he/she uses frequently, she or she might only want to have a normal conversation. If your friend uses words you disagree on, he or she might want to piss you off or argue about something. You can tell if someone wants to persuade you to do something, if he/she is flirting, etc.. It’s all pretty obvious.
**And lastly the breathing patterns can reveal the speaker’s secret message if you pay attention, is a bit difficult though.
I know what you’re thinking “it only works when you’re face to face”, NO IT DOESN’T. On the phone they all apply except facial features and body movements. But you know what? By listening with enormous attention on the way they pronounce the words you can practically visualize their expressions, but that’s advanced stuff. And in e-mails & letters I guess you can only analyze the word choice and phrases. Hey, they can be the difference between a nice greeting or a sarcastic hello how are you. Who knows?
Anyways,…
The thing is that I must learn that at times is better not to know the real meanings of things. But what can I say? I can’t help it! I like to know as much as possible about certain people by just and only listening, observing, and studying their personalities, is pretty amusing and hard at times. And I like it.
Gah. I think I just need (and want) a few days of isolation from friends. ~Sigh~. Just to reorganize all the crap in my head. Starting next week maybe just three days, no phone calls, no e-mails, no hanging out, nothing! It doesn’t sound too hard, I’ve done it before for more than three days, once more won’t be different.
~Sigh~
There are times I feel like I don’t know myself or more like I don’t understand myself. Times in which I think I have my emotions under control and a minute later they’re all a mess again.
I go on most of the days believing I don’t have enough drama in my life, but I think I have more than enough with myself. I mean, trying to order out my feelings, thoughts, and emotions is sure tough and takes up lots of my time. And is not an easy thing to do either.
Right now I feel my head is about to explode. I know what you people that know me are thinking “What on earth is this chick saying? She’s always so mellow and passive, there’s nothing complicated about her life. Stop being such a drama queen.”… well maybe I AM being a drama queen (for once) but I have a good reason for it which I do not plan on discussing right now thank you.
Everything gets to me. To different points and maybe not right away but it does. At times even things that aren’t there! You know what my problem is?! I pay too much attention to insignificant things in a conversation.
~Sigh~
Funny thing too, those “insignificant things” matter more than one might think. By saying insignificant things I mean the tone of voice, the timing, and spacing between words, facial gestures, body movements, also the choice of vocabulary, and maybe even breathing patterns. These all matter when it comes to figuring out what your friend really means or wants to tell you. And if you pay close enough attention you won’t need to hear what your friend will say next because you might already know. It’s pretty funky.
**The tone of voice can express feelings: anger, sadness, happiness, etc. Obvious.
**The timing as well as the spacing between words can reveal confidence or nervousness.
**Facial & body gestures can tell you the speaker’s feelings and if the speaker is being honest our bull-shitting like hell. Here are some clues to figure out if someone’s lying:
-He/She is focusing on facial gestures more than on normal body movements.
-Their ayes will narrow. Lying causes stress.
-No eye contact. The speaker’s eyes will look away. If the room has a means of egress - that's where they'll look.
-Crossing of arms and/or legs (a protective instinct).
-Hands on the face, especially the mouth. They are "covering" the lie.
-Talking fast. A liar wants to get it over with.
-Sometimes the head will nod a "no" when answering a "yes" question or visa versa. This is a subconcious movement.
-Mispronouncing the words or mumbling. A liar kinda thinks he is not lying when he pronounces words incorrectly or mumbles.
-Overreactions. Overstated friendliness/laughing. He wants you to believe and he wants you to like him so you will believe him.
**The choice of words can tell the purpose of the conversation. If the speaker is using words he/she uses frequently, she or she might only want to have a normal conversation. If your friend uses words you disagree on, he or she might want to piss you off or argue about something. You can tell if someone wants to persuade you to do something, if he/she is flirting, etc.. It’s all pretty obvious.
**And lastly the breathing patterns can reveal the speaker’s secret message if you pay attention, is a bit difficult though.
I know what you’re thinking “it only works when you’re face to face”, NO IT DOESN’T. On the phone they all apply except facial features and body movements. But you know what? By listening with enormous attention on the way they pronounce the words you can practically visualize their expressions, but that’s advanced stuff. And in e-mails & letters I guess you can only analyze the word choice and phrases. Hey, they can be the difference between a nice greeting or a sarcastic hello how are you. Who knows?
Anyways,…
The thing is that I must learn that at times is better not to know the real meanings of things. But what can I say? I can’t help it! I like to know as much as possible about certain people by just and only listening, observing, and studying their personalities, is pretty amusing and hard at times. And I like it.
Gah. I think I just need (and want) a few days of isolation from friends. ~Sigh~. Just to reorganize all the crap in my head. Starting next week maybe just three days, no phone calls, no e-mails, no hanging out, nothing! It doesn’t sound too hard, I’ve done it before for more than three days, once more won’t be different.
~Sigh~