it's a sham
Ok. I could just be bitter because as I was lying in bed at 4 am unable to sleep, I realized this is the first valentines day in 14 years that I have not been in a relationship, will not be feed a fantastically romantic meal and will receive no forget me not's, but this day is a sham. I mean I even thought that while I was in love. It's designed to make those of us in relationships spend money and those not, to feel crappy about themselves. So I'm not falling for it. I am the happiest i have been in well I think my entire life and I'm not in love...well except for with myself. All that energy I always put in to relationships I have instead been pouring in to myself and I can't believe the difference its made. My whole life I have talked about quitting my job and starting my own business and now I'm really doing it. I remember the ex husband constantly complained about me working extra freelance and squirling away all those bonus checks in to my solo savings account and had it not been for him I may have put away twice as much! And now all that energy I put in to trying to make him happy, planning fabulous trips, taking us out to fancy dinners, buying new crap for out fancy house, all the cash I spent on stupid clothes to soothe my battered soul, can all go into me and my new store!! It has been a bit of an adjustment, turning down dinner invitations based on the price of the establishment and not buying new shoes or designer handbags...but honestly it is worth it. Anyway I digress. On this day of love I embrace not being in love. I embrace all the gifts that have been bestowed on me this past year and all the love and strength I have received from myself. What a difference a year makes is all I'm saying. And on that note...my lovely friend's Christel and Chad have invited me to intrude on their V day Dinner and I will be eating at my fav restaurant blue plate tonite enjoying the success I am! Happy Sham day to you all...