Just another teenage fuck up.

[sweet_bane]

Randy and I broke up again. This time my fault. Seems like it's always my fault. I just can't do anything right. I hooked up with someone while he was in jail. There is nothing I can say to justify it. But I was lost, miserable, talked into it, and I cut the shit out of myself afterwards...which seems like a good idea at the moment too. I just took a double shot of vodka...give me half an hour and there will be another double shot. Maybe it will numb things.

But nothing will ever numb the pain of losing Randy.

Life gets blurrier...
Time gets shorter...
Memories fade...
Love is buried...
Pain grows...
Bleeding faster...
Emotions die...
Heartbeats slow...
Why...
Why...

I turn 19 in 19 days. On June 19th.
Woohoo. Another year to live. Fuck me.