(no subject)
Last night Nathan came over, per my request, to talk about Joey and some of his continued attitude issues. I am reaching the end of my patience with him and find myself closer and closer to wanting him to move the heck out and be gone! I just can not deal with his argumentative behavior, his constant resistance and then the inevitable refusal that follows whenever I ask him to do anything around the house. His argument is that he takes care of *his* stuff and that's all he should be responsible for and that I shouldn't have any expectations of him to do anything outside of that because it's MY job to provide him a home/food/ect, so my expecting him to show gratitude and respect by doing stuff like taking out the garbage or doing dishes is unreasonable.
I know...I THINK..he doesn't really think that way and that it just comes from being a stupid, stubborn teenager who thinks he has already has a grasp on the entire world and how it works. He was all like "I don't care what you guys think, I will be successful no matter what, I will do whatever I want and will be good at it, etc etc" At one point I told Joey I needed to interupt him and I looked at Nathan and said "Do you remember when we sat in my parents livingroom when I was 17 and you were 18 telling my folks that we were going to get married and that we were going to do it and we were going to have the greatest marriage ever, against all odds?" I mean, it was such a flash back to me to have Joey arguing so passionately about something he only thinks he knows anything about. I remember all to well sitting there with Nathan facing off with my parents about how we WEREN'T too young to get married and how we WOULD beat the odds, and how we KNEW we were going to be just fine. I sat there thinking to myself "Wow...it really does come around full circle."
In order to try and assert some sort of parental authority I have taken away his access to the wireless, the TV, and to the computer, but it doesn't seem to phase him. Other than taking away his X-Box, which he bought and paid for on his own, I really don't have any other leverage other than saying "You don't like it, then leave" which I really don't want to do. However, Nathan has Joey's cell phone on his account and did say last night that if Joey was unwilling to check his attitude and accept that he has responsibilities around the house outside of his own self, then he would suspend the phone. I was shocked, to be honest, because any other time I have approached him about doing that he hems and haws about having told Joey he wouldn't do that. I don't know what has changed his mind about it, but I am glad he is backing me up.
Actually, the biggest reason I called Nathan over last night was to tell him I needed him to back me up on dealing with Joey. I have to admit that, although I am a little apprehensive about getting too excited about it, it made me feel really good to have Nathan confront Joey about his attitude and disrespect. He has NEVER done that before. NEVER. It's nice. Parental back up makes all the difference in the world.
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I know...I THINK..he doesn't really think that way and that it just comes from being a stupid, stubborn teenager who thinks he has already has a grasp on the entire world and how it works. He was all like "I don't care what you guys think, I will be successful no matter what, I will do whatever I want and will be good at it, etc etc" At one point I told Joey I needed to interupt him and I looked at Nathan and said "Do you remember when we sat in my parents livingroom when I was 17 and you were 18 telling my folks that we were going to get married and that we were going to do it and we were going to have the greatest marriage ever, against all odds?" I mean, it was such a flash back to me to have Joey arguing so passionately about something he only thinks he knows anything about. I remember all to well sitting there with Nathan facing off with my parents about how we WEREN'T too young to get married and how we WOULD beat the odds, and how we KNEW we were going to be just fine. I sat there thinking to myself "Wow...it really does come around full circle."
In order to try and assert some sort of parental authority I have taken away his access to the wireless, the TV, and to the computer, but it doesn't seem to phase him. Other than taking away his X-Box, which he bought and paid for on his own, I really don't have any other leverage other than saying "You don't like it, then leave" which I really don't want to do. However, Nathan has Joey's cell phone on his account and did say last night that if Joey was unwilling to check his attitude and accept that he has responsibilities around the house outside of his own self, then he would suspend the phone. I was shocked, to be honest, because any other time I have approached him about doing that he hems and haws about having told Joey he wouldn't do that. I don't know what has changed his mind about it, but I am glad he is backing me up.
Actually, the biggest reason I called Nathan over last night was to tell him I needed him to back me up on dealing with Joey. I have to admit that, although I am a little apprehensive about getting too excited about it, it made me feel really good to have Nathan confront Joey about his attitude and disrespect. He has NEVER done that before. NEVER. It's nice. Parental back up makes all the difference in the world.
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