(no subject)
It's been 5 days. Friday I went back to classes, and had to explain to my teacher's why I wasn't there. By the time my last class was over, all I wanted was to come home and be alone.
It gets a little better as the days pass, but there are moments, like now, when the tears just come. I just miss him so much. I don't think I ever thought this would really happen, and even though it's been 5 days, I still feel like I'm having a bad dream.
My mother came on Tuesday and my aunt took her home on Thursday, and the short time she was here was a nightmare. It's a long story... My gramma told her not to come, but she showed up anyway. And then made them wait to go to the funeral home. When they got there (I couldn't bring myself to go), they picked out the urn, and my mother piped up that she wanted a keepsake urn. It was neither the time nor the place to argue with her, and I don't think my gramma fully understood what it was. When they got home and my aunt told me that part of his ashes would be in the keepsake urn with my mother, I just lost it. So Gramma called the funeral home Weds. morning and they hadn't sealed the urns, so she had them pour the ashes from the little one into the big one and seal them both. Today, my mother called asking for my Grandpa's Masonic rings and his fake eye. wtf. I could beat the living crap out of her right now.
So after all of that, I'm no longer speaking to or having anything to do with my mother.
I finally was able to bring myself to call Rach today. She's supposed to call me back in a bit. I don't know why that one thing has been so hard for me to do.
Joe gets here in 13 days, and I think I'm just going to fall apart all over again.
It gets a little better as the days pass, but there are moments, like now, when the tears just come. I just miss him so much. I don't think I ever thought this would really happen, and even though it's been 5 days, I still feel like I'm having a bad dream.
My mother came on Tuesday and my aunt took her home on Thursday, and the short time she was here was a nightmare. It's a long story... My gramma told her not to come, but she showed up anyway. And then made them wait to go to the funeral home. When they got there (I couldn't bring myself to go), they picked out the urn, and my mother piped up that she wanted a keepsake urn. It was neither the time nor the place to argue with her, and I don't think my gramma fully understood what it was. When they got home and my aunt told me that part of his ashes would be in the keepsake urn with my mother, I just lost it. So Gramma called the funeral home Weds. morning and they hadn't sealed the urns, so she had them pour the ashes from the little one into the big one and seal them both. Today, my mother called asking for my Grandpa's Masonic rings and his fake eye. wtf. I could beat the living crap out of her right now.
So after all of that, I'm no longer speaking to or having anything to do with my mother.
I finally was able to bring myself to call Rach today. She's supposed to call me back in a bit. I don't know why that one thing has been so hard for me to do.
Joe gets here in 13 days, and I think I'm just going to fall apart all over again.