Stuff and Things
Occasionally I get to thinking about some of the other things I enjoy : history, books, yoga, photography and all that. I would love to go back to school and do all of this - just because. I like to learn. That's not so bad, right? It's just odd that a conversation about learning came up yesterday. I was at school tutoring one of my students on some labs she missed and another one of my colleagues asked if I could help tutor some math students while she subbed for another instructor. I reluctantly agreed. Not because I don't want to help, but because math and I are not friends. My experience with my first math class taught me that I need to work on that. But basic stuff I can do, plus,. I can handle the stuff I taught last semester. Of course, this tutoring was for the IV Cert class. In all honesty I've only seen those types of problems once in my life - when I did my IV certification two years ago. After unsuccessfully searching for a hospital job the formulas promptly left my head. Needless to say I didn't think I was the best person for her to ask. Hey - it's one weakness I've come to terms with and continue to work on. So of course my colleagues come in and out as I'm trying to help her out - mostly successfully but partly miserably failing at it. Heck, some of the questions I don't ever recall seeing on my tests. I think part of it was that I was fully not there that day to do anything math related. Naturally, my ego was a little bruised when I had to ask for help. I really need to get passed that. I just hate looking foolish in front of students who are counting on me for help. Plus I hate looking dumb in front of colleagues.
Later in the day I was discussing my math woes with one of the folks who works in the learning lab and somehow my degree came up. Oh yeah - I had to (of course) mention that I can do prob and stat really well, but showing others how I get my answers doesn't go over well. I proceeded to continue with my self deprecating humor and mentioned my thesis and how sleep inducing some students might find it (this was after we discuss a book on physics that I enjoyed). We landed on the topic of sociology. Which is the entire point of this post really.
I mentioned how I got burned out on sociology. We didn't really get deep into why (didn't have time and I'm pretty sure they don't care) but I summed it up this way: I got tired of merely observing everything broken about society and listening to everyone bitch about it and do nothing about it. I was a little surprised at what came out of my mouth. That is the basics of it. I got tired of the pessimism and negativity. It's infectious - like a virus. Of course it all depends on who you pay attention to, but we had quite a few folks in our circle that were just very..angry.
Now I'm not saying I'm not. Looking back at the rest of the conversation I realize I still have a lot of anger that I need to work out.
My other friend said I should go into politics and fix it, study some poli sci. I told them I had enouggh negative experiences with poli sci folks that I couldn't. Plus: "I don't have the personality for politics" And I don't. So don't worry. No ambitions there. I told my other friend "I got tired of folks from poli sci telling me, as as a sociology major, that I was full of shit." That's some of the the anger I was talking about.
I realize that I am still a little angry about how things ended at school. I realize now that I harbor some regret about getting an MA and not an MSAS. But, going into my masters I wanted to get my PhD in sociology and teach at the college level. By the end of it, I really was burned out on it. Looking back, I really did need to get a break from all of that. I still enjoy sociology. It just doesn't permeate my being like it used to. I did realize that there is one thing that continues to pique my fancy: history. I did say if I ever do go for a PhD, I would probably go for history. "Another degree no one wants to hire me for" - ZING!! - more anger there I guess. Or not. It's probably true, but I'm more ok with it now that I would've been a few short years ago.
For now though, I want to focus on my current job, my improv classes, volunteering, my spiritual journey and taking care of my body, etc.
Later in the day I was discussing my math woes with one of the folks who works in the learning lab and somehow my degree came up. Oh yeah - I had to (of course) mention that I can do prob and stat really well, but showing others how I get my answers doesn't go over well. I proceeded to continue with my self deprecating humor and mentioned my thesis and how sleep inducing some students might find it (this was after we discuss a book on physics that I enjoyed). We landed on the topic of sociology. Which is the entire point of this post really.
I mentioned how I got burned out on sociology. We didn't really get deep into why (didn't have time and I'm pretty sure they don't care) but I summed it up this way: I got tired of merely observing everything broken about society and listening to everyone bitch about it and do nothing about it. I was a little surprised at what came out of my mouth. That is the basics of it. I got tired of the pessimism and negativity. It's infectious - like a virus. Of course it all depends on who you pay attention to, but we had quite a few folks in our circle that were just very..angry.
Now I'm not saying I'm not. Looking back at the rest of the conversation I realize I still have a lot of anger that I need to work out.
My other friend said I should go into politics and fix it, study some poli sci. I told them I had enouggh negative experiences with poli sci folks that I couldn't. Plus: "I don't have the personality for politics" And I don't. So don't worry. No ambitions there. I told my other friend "I got tired of folks from poli sci telling me, as as a sociology major, that I was full of shit." That's some of the the anger I was talking about.
I realize that I am still a little angry about how things ended at school. I realize now that I harbor some regret about getting an MA and not an MSAS. But, going into my masters I wanted to get my PhD in sociology and teach at the college level. By the end of it, I really was burned out on it. Looking back, I really did need to get a break from all of that. I still enjoy sociology. It just doesn't permeate my being like it used to. I did realize that there is one thing that continues to pique my fancy: history. I did say if I ever do go for a PhD, I would probably go for history. "Another degree no one wants to hire me for" - ZING!! - more anger there I guess. Or not. It's probably true, but I'm more ok with it now that I would've been a few short years ago.
For now though, I want to focus on my current job, my improv classes, volunteering, my spiritual journey and taking care of my body, etc.