spew
*sigh* I keep vowing I've given this up but every now and again come crawling back. Ah well...
Spent a cool afternoon with Leif yesterday, discussed some plays, lent him Assassins (dammit, I'm gonna want my stuff back eventually - I jest), discovered how much of a video gamer he can be - such a world I know nothing about - and indirectly found out that he'd been asked to join the brainstorming meeting going on about *wait for it, here it comes, the name of the play he's been alluding to for so long now*... You Are Here. Somehow knowing he's on board as possibly more helps me have a lot more faith in the show. Also got to probe his mind a bit and wander around downtown and find out where he lives with his mom.
Spent an hour in Song and Script where I actually chatted with one of the guys that works there and he knew my name and all that and gave me a CD for a little less than he should have today because he'd already closed out the register for the weekend. And I want the Myths and Hymns songbook for the little good it'll do me... new songs in there not on the album!
Met up with Michelle, got cranky and well... sorry.
Haven't been eating or sleeping well lately. Dunno, been a bit of an uphill battle, I guess. Gotta actually get off the fence and plan my life a little more.
Which means, yes, I have taken stock and come up with a few ideas. Like the fact university will never be the place for me. Too much money spent to earn a piece of paper that doesn't necessarily get you where you want to be, a lot of stress I know I wouldn't deal with well, essays up the..., a requirement for a work ethic that I don't have, cliques galore and too many people and the knowledge that I'd be years older than my peers as I entered now. I learn what I want to in my own time and fashion, it seems so real world, here I come... in time.
Still need to solve the high school credit dilemma though before it's completely out of control and something I can't come to terms with. But that also means buckling down and swallowing my pride and focusing long enough to do my work. Good luck me.
It's nice seeing people I care about. I should get out of the house and do that more. Especially with some of the friends I don't see enough of.
Finally saw another movie in the theatres the other day - Girl With The Pearl Earring. It's pretty. Yeah, that's basically the best I can say for it.
Saw the Bernadette Peters episode of the Muppet Show earlier this week. Go Bernie, you canceling bitch... I still love your voice!
I'm all better again and dealing with a touch of depression but we'll see where that goes, have an appointment about it later today anyway.
I keep buying CDs right now... is this a good thing?
I need to pay my phone bill once and for all.
I also need to get on top of some thank you letters for birthday cards and that cheque from Christmas... yeah, Christmas...
Looks like the writing might be coming along slowly again in my head. We'll see on that one. But in the meantime, for those of you that know Ms. Grant and the goal she set for me... it's been accomplished. I'm officially a writer now. (Like I needed the acknowledgement, no... but it's always nice. Too bad it's not a play. And can someone get me Costello's contacts?)
I need to get on top of the play that I want to direct and see if i can get this thing propelled along a bit more. It's my baby after all.
Reading The Goat, typical well-written Albee.
Never let yourself have a co-op supervisor past or present hit on you, graphically hit on you. Damn anonymity. And no, that's not Gwen's fault - by the way, I want her contacts too! I want to speak to Gwen, she's like my friendly respected theatre contact... and probably someone that could give me a pointer or two on doing the play.
I need to go work out. Might be good for me. Then again, I could say the same about a job.
Chicago's in two weeks. And I'm skipping as many rehearsals of the horribly butchered show as I can. I mean, we both reached for the BUN?!?!? I know it's a bit much for performing in a church doing all the sex and swearing and violence but why choose the show then when you KNOW that's part of it? So, once I did my own show, I knew how bad this was and I'm not going back again without a VERY specific task and some serious talking about responsibility - both mine and Rick's.
Finding some of the musicals I haven't had on in a while. Kinda nice.
Too many movies from the library... AHHH!
I need to update this more.
I need to figure out why I'm still online after all night... but more importantly, when I can't afford the crappy service I'm getting.
I still need more theatre.
I also need real food...
Finally discovered what it's like being stood up for something. Traveling downtown, getting there, trying to get in and getting no response - that was a long harsh day. Bit painful... and hopefully enough to make me put the hookups behind me in favour of something more real, what I crave anyway. Now I just need to find that something. And yes, that means the hope I keep putting into people never seems to work out. Give me a month and I'll be beyond speaking with all of them. And when I hide out in my house because I'm not a fan of being social... can't say it's easy to escape the lonely cycle.
I need to get a grip on my surroundings. That means cleaning the place top to bottom but also redecorating it. The faded posters and the scuffed up white walls and the clutter everywhere, which includes on the desk I really need to learn to use; it's aggravating me and not helping gain the new perspective I want on things.
I should proofread these entries but I'm too lazy.
And Little Man Tate is still a favourite. Emotional response number 21 from the movie the other morning... And because I saw something different in it this time too: the relationships between Fred and the women in his life. So All That Jazz, which I appreciated for more than the finale for a change and I LOVE LOVE LOVE Take Off With Us more and some depth I hadn't seen before either, is also still on the list. Wonder how the other three films will fare...
Flirting can be a lot of fun. Need to be careful how I attach emotions to it sometimes though. Hopefully some of that last bout with the flirting turns into a few good friendships though. Possibly more, we'll see. I hope. Some nice guys in there.
Anyone want to see The Last Five Years with me since I don't want to see it with my mom and Michelle's not interested? April 19 until nearly the end of May. And, to relieve Michelle of the burden, maybe I'll try organizing the PWYC for Unidentified Human Remains. Damian for everyone and a Brad Fraser play that really isn't what you think theatre's about - a modern Canadian classic... let me know if you're interested in either, in town and want to go.
By the way, what's the story with seeing Assassins in New York?
I need to figure out how to launch a full-fledged company.
I also need to find a way out of this house. I was saying university - but that's out now because I've decided what I have. i was going to wait until my mother moved to the building under construction across the street but that'll be more than a year away now and I'm not that patient. So thoughts, ideas?
Let me curse this stupid keyboard - shift and the spacebar need to be functional ALL the time.
Anyhow, this is rambling far beyond what I expected of myself and an update for a reason beyond me.
Ask whatever you want of me about this stuff, enjoy the reading and the venture into my psyche.
Toodles.
Spent a cool afternoon with Leif yesterday, discussed some plays, lent him Assassins (dammit, I'm gonna want my stuff back eventually - I jest), discovered how much of a video gamer he can be - such a world I know nothing about - and indirectly found out that he'd been asked to join the brainstorming meeting going on about *wait for it, here it comes, the name of the play he's been alluding to for so long now*... You Are Here. Somehow knowing he's on board as possibly more helps me have a lot more faith in the show. Also got to probe his mind a bit and wander around downtown and find out where he lives with his mom.
Spent an hour in Song and Script where I actually chatted with one of the guys that works there and he knew my name and all that and gave me a CD for a little less than he should have today because he'd already closed out the register for the weekend. And I want the Myths and Hymns songbook for the little good it'll do me... new songs in there not on the album!
Met up with Michelle, got cranky and well... sorry.
Haven't been eating or sleeping well lately. Dunno, been a bit of an uphill battle, I guess. Gotta actually get off the fence and plan my life a little more.
Which means, yes, I have taken stock and come up with a few ideas. Like the fact university will never be the place for me. Too much money spent to earn a piece of paper that doesn't necessarily get you where you want to be, a lot of stress I know I wouldn't deal with well, essays up the..., a requirement for a work ethic that I don't have, cliques galore and too many people and the knowledge that I'd be years older than my peers as I entered now. I learn what I want to in my own time and fashion, it seems so real world, here I come... in time.
Still need to solve the high school credit dilemma though before it's completely out of control and something I can't come to terms with. But that also means buckling down and swallowing my pride and focusing long enough to do my work. Good luck me.
It's nice seeing people I care about. I should get out of the house and do that more. Especially with some of the friends I don't see enough of.
Finally saw another movie in the theatres the other day - Girl With The Pearl Earring. It's pretty. Yeah, that's basically the best I can say for it.
Saw the Bernadette Peters episode of the Muppet Show earlier this week. Go Bernie, you canceling bitch... I still love your voice!
I'm all better again and dealing with a touch of depression but we'll see where that goes, have an appointment about it later today anyway.
I keep buying CDs right now... is this a good thing?
I need to pay my phone bill once and for all.
I also need to get on top of some thank you letters for birthday cards and that cheque from Christmas... yeah, Christmas...
Looks like the writing might be coming along slowly again in my head. We'll see on that one. But in the meantime, for those of you that know Ms. Grant and the goal she set for me... it's been accomplished. I'm officially a writer now. (Like I needed the acknowledgement, no... but it's always nice. Too bad it's not a play. And can someone get me Costello's contacts?)
I need to get on top of the play that I want to direct and see if i can get this thing propelled along a bit more. It's my baby after all.
Reading The Goat, typical well-written Albee.
Never let yourself have a co-op supervisor past or present hit on you, graphically hit on you. Damn anonymity. And no, that's not Gwen's fault - by the way, I want her contacts too! I want to speak to Gwen, she's like my friendly respected theatre contact... and probably someone that could give me a pointer or two on doing the play.
I need to go work out. Might be good for me. Then again, I could say the same about a job.
Chicago's in two weeks. And I'm skipping as many rehearsals of the horribly butchered show as I can. I mean, we both reached for the BUN?!?!? I know it's a bit much for performing in a church doing all the sex and swearing and violence but why choose the show then when you KNOW that's part of it? So, once I did my own show, I knew how bad this was and I'm not going back again without a VERY specific task and some serious talking about responsibility - both mine and Rick's.
Finding some of the musicals I haven't had on in a while. Kinda nice.
Too many movies from the library... AHHH!
I need to update this more.
I need to figure out why I'm still online after all night... but more importantly, when I can't afford the crappy service I'm getting.
I still need more theatre.
I also need real food...
Finally discovered what it's like being stood up for something. Traveling downtown, getting there, trying to get in and getting no response - that was a long harsh day. Bit painful... and hopefully enough to make me put the hookups behind me in favour of something more real, what I crave anyway. Now I just need to find that something. And yes, that means the hope I keep putting into people never seems to work out. Give me a month and I'll be beyond speaking with all of them. And when I hide out in my house because I'm not a fan of being social... can't say it's easy to escape the lonely cycle.
I need to get a grip on my surroundings. That means cleaning the place top to bottom but also redecorating it. The faded posters and the scuffed up white walls and the clutter everywhere, which includes on the desk I really need to learn to use; it's aggravating me and not helping gain the new perspective I want on things.
I should proofread these entries but I'm too lazy.
And Little Man Tate is still a favourite. Emotional response number 21 from the movie the other morning... And because I saw something different in it this time too: the relationships between Fred and the women in his life. So All That Jazz, which I appreciated for more than the finale for a change and I LOVE LOVE LOVE Take Off With Us more and some depth I hadn't seen before either, is also still on the list. Wonder how the other three films will fare...
Flirting can be a lot of fun. Need to be careful how I attach emotions to it sometimes though. Hopefully some of that last bout with the flirting turns into a few good friendships though. Possibly more, we'll see. I hope. Some nice guys in there.
Anyone want to see The Last Five Years with me since I don't want to see it with my mom and Michelle's not interested? April 19 until nearly the end of May. And, to relieve Michelle of the burden, maybe I'll try organizing the PWYC for Unidentified Human Remains. Damian for everyone and a Brad Fraser play that really isn't what you think theatre's about - a modern Canadian classic... let me know if you're interested in either, in town and want to go.
By the way, what's the story with seeing Assassins in New York?
I need to figure out how to launch a full-fledged company.
I also need to find a way out of this house. I was saying university - but that's out now because I've decided what I have. i was going to wait until my mother moved to the building under construction across the street but that'll be more than a year away now and I'm not that patient. So thoughts, ideas?
Let me curse this stupid keyboard - shift and the spacebar need to be functional ALL the time.
Anyhow, this is rambling far beyond what I expected of myself and an update for a reason beyond me.
Ask whatever you want of me about this stuff, enjoy the reading and the venture into my psyche.
Toodles.