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Here are some things I think you should know if you have to go to the hospital. Real talk.
1. If you're fat, the staff will HATE having you on their unit. We will refer to you as a HEAVY. As in, "How many heavies do we have on the unit today?" or, "Transport that patient yourself. I don't do heavies." Deal with it. Or lose weight.
2. The more you ask the staff to do things for you, the longer we'll keep you waiting Why? Because we can. Hospitals aren't hotels. Nothing happens to us if you don't enjoy your stay.
3. If you're a drug addict or alcoholic, staff will talk shit on you right outside your room. You won't remember what they're saying, anyway. Sometimes they withhold meds longer than they have to because you're a waste of space.
4. Your existence is something we talk about openly and speculate on. Your death will be little more than notes in a chart and a learning experience for a med student. This is why you shouldn't take yourself seriously.
Something I REALLY like about my job is that we can have a code (someone dying) in a room while the rest of the staff is joking and carrying on as usual out in the unit. As weird as it might sound, it really helps me put things in perspective. My existence isn't really important to anyone else.
Asthma is back. The slight decrease in my blood oxygen levels has made me dizzy and scatterbrained.
I want someone to talk about life, humans, and outer space with me. We'll discuss things, make no progress in real terms, feel better about ourselves for being interested in things we think are important, and eventually our brain matter will be eaten by bugs we'd step on. Will the bugs be smarter for having eaten our brains? No.
1. If you're fat, the staff will HATE having you on their unit. We will refer to you as a HEAVY. As in, "How many heavies do we have on the unit today?" or, "Transport that patient yourself. I don't do heavies." Deal with it. Or lose weight.
2. The more you ask the staff to do things for you, the longer we'll keep you waiting Why? Because we can. Hospitals aren't hotels. Nothing happens to us if you don't enjoy your stay.
3. If you're a drug addict or alcoholic, staff will talk shit on you right outside your room. You won't remember what they're saying, anyway. Sometimes they withhold meds longer than they have to because you're a waste of space.
4. Your existence is something we talk about openly and speculate on. Your death will be little more than notes in a chart and a learning experience for a med student. This is why you shouldn't take yourself seriously.
Something I REALLY like about my job is that we can have a code (someone dying) in a room while the rest of the staff is joking and carrying on as usual out in the unit. As weird as it might sound, it really helps me put things in perspective. My existence isn't really important to anyone else.
Asthma is back. The slight decrease in my blood oxygen levels has made me dizzy and scatterbrained.
I want someone to talk about life, humans, and outer space with me. We'll discuss things, make no progress in real terms, feel better about ourselves for being interested in things we think are important, and eventually our brain matter will be eaten by bugs we'd step on. Will the bugs be smarter for having eaten our brains? No.