Angry and resentful
I'm very angry right now. With Tom. with James. With Ellie. I don't want to be riding in this car on our way to the vet with this dog. The dog smells and is old and needs more love and care than he is getting. I am angry with Tom because I took the day off so I wouldn't have to deal with people today. So I could do stuff at the house, clean, organize, knit, try to relax. And yet here I am taking Ellie's fucking dog to the vet! Why? because my husband doesn't like his mother and doesn't want to be with her plus neither of them could lift him into the car because of back issues. Again another reason I'm resentful. I want to go home. I want to cuddle my kittens. I want to cry. I want to scream. I want to be alone. I want to be held. I need to vent but I will be hurtful if I vent to Tom and it will make him even more depressed.
I'm angry with James for being late and inconsiderate.
I am angry with Ellie for treating her "beloved" animals like garbage and not doing what is best them or her. I shouldn't have to be don't everything for her and then. She can't take care of herself let alone 6 animals. Of course two of the animals she hasn't for 2 years at least! That responsibility had fallen to my family. And I hate her for it. I wish she would just for! I'm so tired of taking care of her ungrateful ass! I decided this weekend I'm not fighting her about her meds anymore. If she kills herself by taking to much insulin because she forgot she took it and took more it because she didn't check her blood sugar before she took it so took too much, so be it. I do
Do not care! I no longer feel responsible. Fuck her and her diabetes! She makes me so fucking mad! I'm so done it's not funny and taking care of her makes me angry with Tom for not wanting anything to do with her. I understand it though because the more time I spend with her the more I want her to die!