Attack
I have never felt so bad about being Catholic since I was told I was going to hell in fourth grade because I was Catholic. Today it was different, today it was Death and Dying and the brilliant *read with dripping sarcasm* James Banks didn't know what purgatory was so Miss Jan asked me, the token Catholic at a Baptist college to explain it to a room full of Baptists.
So I explained purgatory to the best of my ability, probably not that great but then they started asking me other questions, and people were just spitting questions at me left and right and I felt so attacked. I was trying to keep my cool, but it seemed to go on forever. They kept firing questions at me from all directions without giving me a chance to answer then accusing me of not knowing because I didn't answer them all fast enough or all at once. There were as many as five people talking at once and it was so frustrating.
Someone asked me about being "saved" and I told them we aren't "saved" the way Baptists are saved, we believed we were saved when Jesus died ion the cross for our sins. So I got accused of never accepting Jesus into my heart. And I said no I never said that, but our confirmation is a lot like your "saved" we go up and accept Jesus into our life and say that we believe and will follow Jesus, etc.
But it just seemed like I was talking to myself. Then a guy who I had talked to a lot and had great respect for started quoting scripture and telling me how what I believed was wrong and what I just said was not what I said and I was like Brandon, your not listening, I am agreeing with you, we are saying the same thing, but he didn't want to hear that he could have the same beliefs as me. He just kept spouting scripture so Ms Jan finally stopped him. Hell I tuned him out after awhile.
And through all of this some bitch in the back kept taking pictures of me with her camera phone and laughing and I heard her say once she was going to post it on her MySpace. I wish I could remember her name. Her and her little group upset me more than anything. They just kept laughing and making fun and I was getting flustered. And the questions kept coming.
I was just relieved when Ms. Jan said that was enough because she wanted to finish up so we could go for the weekend. So I turned back around and the tears quietly fell.
After class Nick, one who had some legitimate questions and who wasn't ridiculing apologized for the behavior of some of the others and said he didn't know how I stood it so long, he was sure he would have told them to just shut up. I wanted to, but I know how they would have taken it. Then he asked some questions and we talked for about an hour after class.
Sometime I wish I could get through and sometimes I just don't know. I wish I knew some of the tenets of The Church better so I could argue the beliefs of the church better. I have never had to explain the church like that, or felt so ganged up on. I felt like I was being attacked. I guss I get a better understanding of how Jesus felt 2000 years ago. And all the Saints and Martyrs felt, maybe *sigh* It's a terrible feeling. I am so glad I don't belittle people for there beliefs. Why can't others just accept that they have different beliefs and get on with it. It would end all the holy wars...that would be nice.
So I explained purgatory to the best of my ability, probably not that great but then they started asking me other questions, and people were just spitting questions at me left and right and I felt so attacked. I was trying to keep my cool, but it seemed to go on forever. They kept firing questions at me from all directions without giving me a chance to answer then accusing me of not knowing because I didn't answer them all fast enough or all at once. There were as many as five people talking at once and it was so frustrating.
Someone asked me about being "saved" and I told them we aren't "saved" the way Baptists are saved, we believed we were saved when Jesus died ion the cross for our sins. So I got accused of never accepting Jesus into my heart. And I said no I never said that, but our confirmation is a lot like your "saved" we go up and accept Jesus into our life and say that we believe and will follow Jesus, etc.
But it just seemed like I was talking to myself. Then a guy who I had talked to a lot and had great respect for started quoting scripture and telling me how what I believed was wrong and what I just said was not what I said and I was like Brandon, your not listening, I am agreeing with you, we are saying the same thing, but he didn't want to hear that he could have the same beliefs as me. He just kept spouting scripture so Ms Jan finally stopped him. Hell I tuned him out after awhile.
And through all of this some bitch in the back kept taking pictures of me with her camera phone and laughing and I heard her say once she was going to post it on her MySpace. I wish I could remember her name. Her and her little group upset me more than anything. They just kept laughing and making fun and I was getting flustered. And the questions kept coming.
I was just relieved when Ms. Jan said that was enough because she wanted to finish up so we could go for the weekend. So I turned back around and the tears quietly fell.
After class Nick, one who had some legitimate questions and who wasn't ridiculing apologized for the behavior of some of the others and said he didn't know how I stood it so long, he was sure he would have told them to just shut up. I wanted to, but I know how they would have taken it. Then he asked some questions and we talked for about an hour after class.
Sometime I wish I could get through and sometimes I just don't know. I wish I knew some of the tenets of The Church better so I could argue the beliefs of the church better. I have never had to explain the church like that, or felt so ganged up on. I felt like I was being attacked. I guss I get a better understanding of how Jesus felt 2000 years ago. And all the Saints and Martyrs felt, maybe *sigh* It's a terrible feeling. I am so glad I don't belittle people for there beliefs. Why can't others just accept that they have different beliefs and get on with it. It would end all the holy wars...that would be nice.