A childrens' tale.
This is Oscar. Oscar was a really cheap individual so when he bought a web camera he bought one that had horrible color-capturing features and made him look blue instead of his natural green. Oscar was also often too lazy to fix the contrast and hue and other crazy things that his little mind didn't comprehend.
Oscar always wanted to be a big shot so he would make shirts that had his name on them; that way people would look and say, "Wow, that Oscar really caught my eye."
Oscar was a tried and true Canadian who moved to America at the age of six. Fortunately his friends did not hold where he was from against him and he got along swimmingly with everyone.
Oscar was a very, very sexy grouch. He had the unibrow working like no other. His crazed eyeballs often gave him the look of someone who had a very deep and crack-filled soul.
Oscar had the most impressive package in the land. All the women would faint at the sheer size of it.
Oscar had bad taste in women though, he always dated pigs, sometimes they would be ceramic and that often caused problems to his magnificent junk. One time he died as a result.
Oscar was in purgatory, he was pleading his case to Saint Peter much like Albert Brooks in Defending Your Life. Secretly God was Canadian as well and let Oscar in, cleansing him of all his sins.
Oscar finally got his halo and partied with God all night long listening to Gordon Lightfoot and Bryan Adams and Loverboy albums (because they were the most impressive musicians to ever come out of Canada) while wearing their Wayne Gretzky jerseys.
The end.
Ps. Oscar's friend Thomas is really bored and that is why he felt like giving this tribute to his fallen buddy.