Late night thoughts...

[swedishredrose]

Like so often during these late night music sessions in front of the computer I get sad...and I feel lonely and angry. It's been three years and I'm still struggling to get back on track. Sometimes I wonder if I will ever be able to fall in love again, if I will ever allow myself to open my heart and let someone in, and risk the same thing happening all over again. I don't wanna be alone all my life, but I never ever want to go through that hell again.
Clearly HE doesn't feel that way...he is already with someone new. And I am sitting here on my own, too afraid to get hurt again. I HAVE met some guys that have stirred feelings inside, but it scares me so much I shut off straight away. I just cannot do it all over again...it's not worth all the pain.

This song by The Rasmus pretty much sums up how I feel:

I don't wanna feel anything today
(I don't wanna feel anything today)
Anything at all I'll just be alone
(I just wanna know that you wanna know)
I don't wanna live through another day
(I don't wanna live through another day)
Meaningless to fight for the victory
I just wanna dive in the heart of misery

One love (One love) - One life (One life)
Locked me in the heart of misery
One loss (One loss) - One fight (One fight)
Locked me in the heart of misery

I will never be anything again
(I will never be anything again)
I'm tired to give I don't wanna try
(I'm afraid to live, I'm afraid to die)
I just wanna fly throw it all away
(I just wanna fly throw it all away)
Meaningless to fight for your sympathy
I just wanna drown in the heart of misery

One love (One love) - One life (One life)
Locked me in the heart of misery
One loss (One loss) - One fight (One fight)
Locked me in the heart of misery