(no subject)
Having two homes across the country from each other leaves me perpetually homesick. I will forever be missing someone, somewhere becuase i will never have all the ones that i love together in one place. Or all the things that i love. At least for the remainder of my life on earth. After that i suppose things could change.
And ordinary things can swing me into such a depressed state. Becuase i will forever find a way to connect trivial things to my Baraboo life.
It's the weather, and the hills, and it's the accents, and the freedom, and it's the smell, and the attitudes, and it's the seasons, and the giggles, and it's the nighttimes, and the basements, and it's the square, and the closeness, and most of all, it's the people that are forever on my mind.
But, of course, It's the beaches, and the history, and it's the tans, and it's the comfort, and the familiarity, it's the potential, and the family, and it's the background, and the memories, and it's the lifetime friendships, that are forever with me.
It's as if I will always be longing for something that is unreachable. Is it the rarity of exposure that makes me so closely attached? It could be, yet, it feels almost disconnected from the world I know. And it's that same disconnection that allows me to create such intimate relationships so quickly.
And 3 times a year i will be able to experience that disconnection and intimacy.
In trying to tell someone everything, you will surely forget something. And without experiencing it, one can never know exactly how it is I feel. And I am so grateful that I experienced this, all of this, with someone I was already so attached to. Surely, the longest friendship I have ever held was with Megan. She will forever be able to relate to me, and we both know that we are never alone.
Focusing on all that is going for me in Sarasota is getting me by now. But there will always be an opposing force trying to get me down. That force will send krista to riverview and my brother to jail. It will try to disconnect my relationships with the only people i have left in my life. And all i can do is combat that, attempt to grow closer to those who are drifting. A closer relationship with god is something that will undoubtedly come out of this situation. And for that, I will be forever grateful.
I must keep reminding myself: "Everything happens for a reason". & that, i do truly believe.
I suppose i wrote this mostly for myself to organize my thoughts. But if you have at least read this far, i hope that you gained something from it, anything. If you have read this far, then you were meant to. Everything happens for a reason.
And ordinary things can swing me into such a depressed state. Becuase i will forever find a way to connect trivial things to my Baraboo life.
It's the weather, and the hills, and it's the accents, and the freedom, and it's the smell, and the attitudes, and it's the seasons, and the giggles, and it's the nighttimes, and the basements, and it's the square, and the closeness, and most of all, it's the people that are forever on my mind.
But, of course, It's the beaches, and the history, and it's the tans, and it's the comfort, and the familiarity, it's the potential, and the family, and it's the background, and the memories, and it's the lifetime friendships, that are forever with me.
It's as if I will always be longing for something that is unreachable. Is it the rarity of exposure that makes me so closely attached? It could be, yet, it feels almost disconnected from the world I know. And it's that same disconnection that allows me to create such intimate relationships so quickly.
And 3 times a year i will be able to experience that disconnection and intimacy.
In trying to tell someone everything, you will surely forget something. And without experiencing it, one can never know exactly how it is I feel. And I am so grateful that I experienced this, all of this, with someone I was already so attached to. Surely, the longest friendship I have ever held was with Megan. She will forever be able to relate to me, and we both know that we are never alone.
Focusing on all that is going for me in Sarasota is getting me by now. But there will always be an opposing force trying to get me down. That force will send krista to riverview and my brother to jail. It will try to disconnect my relationships with the only people i have left in my life. And all i can do is combat that, attempt to grow closer to those who are drifting. A closer relationship with god is something that will undoubtedly come out of this situation. And for that, I will be forever grateful.
I must keep reminding myself: "Everything happens for a reason". & that, i do truly believe.
I suppose i wrote this mostly for myself to organize my thoughts. But if you have at least read this far, i hope that you gained something from it, anything. If you have read this far, then you were meant to. Everything happens for a reason.