Making Newton proud
Hypothesis of the day: Huge piles of work usually result in updates as a procrastination tactic. So far, it's proving to be true.
The stack of notes I have to get through on Communist Russia and China is truly impressive. I don't find it all boring, it's just that the material is depressing as hell. 5 million dead of starvation in the Russian famine of 1921, Stalinism and labour camps, the Rape of Nanjing, the greatest famine in world history in 1959 in China leaving 13 million dead....and that's just a sampling. So distraction is needed for sanity's sake.
Here's a distraction: I really do not want to leave London. I keep trying to reassure myself that I can come back, live here again maybe with an internship program or for grad school. But no matter what I tell myself I know I will leave feeling that didn't do all I should have done while here. I really want to come back on my own, with no American bubble surrounding me most of the time. I really do think that I relate to the British better than Americans, the more I learn about each country the more I feel like I've been living in the wrong place all these years. And shallow as it seems, I am going to miss terribly being of legal drinking age. Not even for the sake of getting drunk, just the pub culture and having that freedom that is so unnecessarily banned in the States. I think I've been far more responsible here where it was legal than back home when I had to do it behind everyone's backs. Says she who drunkenly wandered home last night. But let's ignore that fact, as I certainly haven't made it a habit to get that wasted in a while.
So now it's exams. Exams and then packing up and trying to find some sort of hostel to stay in while Sharada works for the Liberal Democrats and then off we go to Europe and beyond. Well, actually just Europe, and a small portion of it at that. And then home. And then Boston, which I am trying not to dread but what can I say, it's natural to detest going to a place if the memories that stand out are bad. I know it wasn't even as horrible as I imagine, but it's instinct and habit I suppose. So be it. All will be fine, all will be lovely, and if it isn't I'll drop out and move back here. Be an illegal immigrant. If only the Atlantic was not so wide.
But good cheer comes in the following:
1. Young Bride by the band Midlake is an absolutely beautiful song. And it sounds like winter. Not cheery Christmas let it snow winter, but a cloudy day in Febuary when the ground is flat and brown. And I say that not just because the video involves a girl walking barefoot through snow. The violin part makes the song.
2. The very fact that a woman known as the Hugging Saint exists makes me smile. She looks huggable too.
3. I saw the Weakerthans with Jamie when my family came to visit. It was amazing that as soon as it ended I was sad that I'd have to wait some insane amount of time to see them again. I sang along to everything, and at one point I swear the drummer saw me singing to one of the newer songs and smiled at me and gave me a thumbs up. Or I could just be making things up out of utter madness, which seems plausible.
4. I wanted to see the Carps the other week as well. I called the club to see what time they'd be playing, and the guy told me the club was closed until January. Hence, no Carps. And for that I am sad.
5. This slowly descended into a list of complaints. I have no idea how that happened. Fuck, I don't want to live back in the U.S.
6. Linking things is fun though. Why don't I just link the entire entry? Now that would be a barrel of laughs.
The stack of notes I have to get through on Communist Russia and China is truly impressive. I don't find it all boring, it's just that the material is depressing as hell. 5 million dead of starvation in the Russian famine of 1921, Stalinism and labour camps, the Rape of Nanjing, the greatest famine in world history in 1959 in China leaving 13 million dead....and that's just a sampling. So distraction is needed for sanity's sake.
Here's a distraction: I really do not want to leave London. I keep trying to reassure myself that I can come back, live here again maybe with an internship program or for grad school. But no matter what I tell myself I know I will leave feeling that didn't do all I should have done while here. I really want to come back on my own, with no American bubble surrounding me most of the time. I really do think that I relate to the British better than Americans, the more I learn about each country the more I feel like I've been living in the wrong place all these years. And shallow as it seems, I am going to miss terribly being of legal drinking age. Not even for the sake of getting drunk, just the pub culture and having that freedom that is so unnecessarily banned in the States. I think I've been far more responsible here where it was legal than back home when I had to do it behind everyone's backs. Says she who drunkenly wandered home last night. But let's ignore that fact, as I certainly haven't made it a habit to get that wasted in a while.
So now it's exams. Exams and then packing up and trying to find some sort of hostel to stay in while Sharada works for the Liberal Democrats and then off we go to Europe and beyond. Well, actually just Europe, and a small portion of it at that. And then home. And then Boston, which I am trying not to dread but what can I say, it's natural to detest going to a place if the memories that stand out are bad. I know it wasn't even as horrible as I imagine, but it's instinct and habit I suppose. So be it. All will be fine, all will be lovely, and if it isn't I'll drop out and move back here. Be an illegal immigrant. If only the Atlantic was not so wide.
But good cheer comes in the following:
1. Young Bride by the band Midlake is an absolutely beautiful song. And it sounds like winter. Not cheery Christmas let it snow winter, but a cloudy day in Febuary when the ground is flat and brown. And I say that not just because the video involves a girl walking barefoot through snow. The violin part makes the song.
2. The very fact that a woman known as the Hugging Saint exists makes me smile. She looks huggable too.
3. I saw the Weakerthans with Jamie when my family came to visit. It was amazing that as soon as it ended I was sad that I'd have to wait some insane amount of time to see them again. I sang along to everything, and at one point I swear the drummer saw me singing to one of the newer songs and smiled at me and gave me a thumbs up. Or I could just be making things up out of utter madness, which seems plausible.
4. I wanted to see the Carps the other week as well. I called the club to see what time they'd be playing, and the guy told me the club was closed until January. Hence, no Carps. And for that I am sad.
5. This slowly descended into a list of complaints. I have no idea how that happened. Fuck, I don't want to live back in the U.S.
6. Linking things is fun though. Why don't I just link the entire entry? Now that would be a barrel of laughs.