sell out with me tonight
This morning I had to go down to the courthouse to pay off my speeding ticket. You know those mornings where you wake up from a shitty dream, and the feelings and atmosphere from it affect your mood and actions the whole morning? Yeah, i had one of those, but it wasnt the cool type where you dream your flying a jet. Instead, I had dissapointed my parents, gotten arrested for something stupid, and somehow alienated all of my freinds, yes, even a few that are dead. My dreams can be assholes. I basically spent the morning in a complete worthless funk, not too bad since the only thing i had to do was walk to hell and back to the ATM and then the courthouse. By the time I got there, i was in a much better mood, mostly because of the building. Whenever you pay money to a real courthouse, you feel abused. Its big and strong, made of classy brick and marble, with shiny police cars parked out front, and it feels like the goliath stomping on david. Not here, it was more like handouts to a hobo. Think of the shitiest funded public school in your home town. Now give it water damage. The place was obviously made by the lowest bidder with the cheapest materials, and instead of intimidating police cars out front, there was a state owned ford taurus with a dog peeing on its driver side door. Man that put me in a better mood.
However, my the best was the police officer standing just inside the door, answering everyones questions. He had his hands full of paperwork and this obviously wasnt his duty but because of the builsings lack of signs noone knew where to go. Because of this, there was a line in front of him, which each person who was next basically telling him what they did and asking where that court room would be
"Hey, i'm here for a DUI"
"Where should i go for a possesion charge?"
(my favorite) GUY "Hey man, i got a ticket for assault and i need to take care of it"
COP "What type?"
GUY "Assault"
COP "No, what type of assault? Like simple or battery?
GUY "Um...like, i was drunk...and i hit this bitch. That type."
Guess what classifies as simple assault? Hittin bitches, thats what
The entire adventure probably took me about 2 hours and when i finally got back to my room i felt like shit. I napped, woke up, ate all the freezie pops in my fridge, then napped some more.
I woke up a few hours later to my CG standing over me
CADE "Whats up with you?"
ME "I'm sick, whats up?"
CADE "Im doing room inspections, you need to take that light down."
I raise up my sheet between Cade and the light
ME "Lights gone"
CADE "Good enough for me"
The rest of the day was spent doing absolutely nothing. I napped. A lot. apparantly someone came in, took pity on me and turned off the light becaue when i woke up at 7, everything was dark. Lay in bed for a while, got depressed, finally got out of bed. I tried to cure myself the quinn coleman way (sophomore year quinn always had empty bottles of cheap ass green teas. He claimed they cured the flu and cancer). Its not that im naive, theyre just in the vending machine down the hall, their fluid, and theyve got vitamin c, which is good enough for me
Lewis Black is being funny, night
However, my the best was the police officer standing just inside the door, answering everyones questions. He had his hands full of paperwork and this obviously wasnt his duty but because of the builsings lack of signs noone knew where to go. Because of this, there was a line in front of him, which each person who was next basically telling him what they did and asking where that court room would be
"Hey, i'm here for a DUI"
"Where should i go for a possesion charge?"
(my favorite) GUY "Hey man, i got a ticket for assault and i need to take care of it"
COP "What type?"
GUY "Assault"
COP "No, what type of assault? Like simple or battery?
GUY "Um...like, i was drunk...and i hit this bitch. That type."
Guess what classifies as simple assault? Hittin bitches, thats what
The entire adventure probably took me about 2 hours and when i finally got back to my room i felt like shit. I napped, woke up, ate all the freezie pops in my fridge, then napped some more.
I woke up a few hours later to my CG standing over me
CADE "Whats up with you?"
ME "I'm sick, whats up?"
CADE "Im doing room inspections, you need to take that light down."
I raise up my sheet between Cade and the light
ME "Lights gone"
CADE "Good enough for me"
The rest of the day was spent doing absolutely nothing. I napped. A lot. apparantly someone came in, took pity on me and turned off the light becaue when i woke up at 7, everything was dark. Lay in bed for a while, got depressed, finally got out of bed. I tried to cure myself the quinn coleman way (sophomore year quinn always had empty bottles of cheap ass green teas. He claimed they cured the flu and cancer). Its not that im naive, theyre just in the vending machine down the hall, their fluid, and theyve got vitamin c, which is good enough for me
Lewis Black is being funny, night