May Mr. Miyagi watch over us all??
I've had to move locations to the third floor
women's bathroom. Apparently the beaver women's
legs are less hairy than the men's, and roughly
approximate the amount of hair on a male human's leg
like my own. So I've been sitting in this stall for
two days now, ever since the beavers discovered the
ping pong tables Mormons have been hoarding in a
very suave attempt at winning the next world
championship cup. The walls are standard
cinderblock and the commodes are porcelain with
those padded seats that are such a pleasure to sit
on. There is no toilet paper remaining as I got
hungry yesterday. If you can provide a distraction,
get these damned beavers off the ping pong tables
and outside, I can make a run for it. I broke a
piece off the large mirror last night for a shank
and could possibly grab a hostage on my way out.
Needless to say, life loses out to the fun of
pushing the one button I have remaining, the longer
my ass accumulates sweat on these almost too
comfortable seats.
Please hurry. Last night my right pinkie finger
started moving on its own. I can only cut off so
many more of these errant fingers.
Your revelations on Cara and Ramone are very
revelatory. My mammaries of the last time soap
opera stars tried to take control of all the world's
breast-milk lead me to believe we may be facing a
desperate situational comedy there and an endless
series of bad puns. The soap stars are learning
from their mistakes. This could destroy our
conception of christian marriage throwing the world
into havoc and making sex only about recreation.
Oh, the humanity!!!
The danger of the Malcolm in the Middle theme lies
in its being just the theme music. You will never,
no matter how many times it plays, hear the song in
its entirety. Babies have been driven to suckling
goats. Right though, great song.
Watch your groundmail turtledove.
spacebar over easy.
------
turtledove to spacebar.
You ungrateful swine. Your escape will be delicate. At
0900 be ready. There will be a distraction just
outside the window, which should give you ample time
to run. Provided your legs are not all crampy and
useless. If this is the case, I shall create a wheel
and lever system to aid your potentailly crippled
self. You won't be able to see me during this
operation. I shall personally carry out the diversion
(which will involve revealed flesh, noodles, and a
skilled turtle), while the undercover beavers will
secure your freedom.
It is imperative that you do not cut off either pinkie
finger. There is something you don't know about those
digits of yours that is vital to our regaining control
of this situation.
I must finish preparations. Be strong.
turtledove out.
women's bathroom. Apparently the beaver women's
legs are less hairy than the men's, and roughly
approximate the amount of hair on a male human's leg
like my own. So I've been sitting in this stall for
two days now, ever since the beavers discovered the
ping pong tables Mormons have been hoarding in a
very suave attempt at winning the next world
championship cup. The walls are standard
cinderblock and the commodes are porcelain with
those padded seats that are such a pleasure to sit
on. There is no toilet paper remaining as I got
hungry yesterday. If you can provide a distraction,
get these damned beavers off the ping pong tables
and outside, I can make a run for it. I broke a
piece off the large mirror last night for a shank
and could possibly grab a hostage on my way out.
Needless to say, life loses out to the fun of
pushing the one button I have remaining, the longer
my ass accumulates sweat on these almost too
comfortable seats.
Please hurry. Last night my right pinkie finger
started moving on its own. I can only cut off so
many more of these errant fingers.
Your revelations on Cara and Ramone are very
revelatory. My mammaries of the last time soap
opera stars tried to take control of all the world's
breast-milk lead me to believe we may be facing a
desperate situational comedy there and an endless
series of bad puns. The soap stars are learning
from their mistakes. This could destroy our
conception of christian marriage throwing the world
into havoc and making sex only about recreation.
Oh, the humanity!!!
The danger of the Malcolm in the Middle theme lies
in its being just the theme music. You will never,
no matter how many times it plays, hear the song in
its entirety. Babies have been driven to suckling
goats. Right though, great song.
Watch your groundmail turtledove.
spacebar over easy.
------
turtledove to spacebar.
You ungrateful swine. Your escape will be delicate. At
0900 be ready. There will be a distraction just
outside the window, which should give you ample time
to run. Provided your legs are not all crampy and
useless. If this is the case, I shall create a wheel
and lever system to aid your potentailly crippled
self. You won't be able to see me during this
operation. I shall personally carry out the diversion
(which will involve revealed flesh, noodles, and a
skilled turtle), while the undercover beavers will
secure your freedom.
It is imperative that you do not cut off either pinkie
finger. There is something you don't know about those
digits of yours that is vital to our regaining control
of this situation.
I must finish preparations. Be strong.
turtledove out.