tough looking in the face

[swaylux]

there was a flight and a fumble
thunder and lightening
landing gear in an interesting city and an hour drive away
low ceiling hotel rooms that were inadequately mimicking homes
we were without food, without proximity
i ate a dish of candies as we chatted online

there was anticipation
i remember it
there were wrinkled pants that needed pressing
and we never touched

i told you i dream of going down with turbulence
that i like the flashing lights
and the prospect of death

were we mismatched then?
or now?
or is it something we say
to make it easier?

empty apartments still have me washing you away in showers
slipping down into cold uninhabited sheets
waking up warmer, but still unaccompanied
but still