Happy Christmas...and
I sit in front of the pane shirtless, darkness out, inside light, illuminated imperfection, free for sight. I grasp and grab and gargle thought that reinvents itself repeatedly within my tired mind. Here we are, come christmas with just the same or more regrets and wrongs and lives and loves thrown down those pivotal stairs of worldly gain and destruction. One in the same. They say its too hot back east for the season, they say its too snowy here for the drivers, I guess were not lucky enough to know what real heat and cold means. I let the draft absorb into my skin and think this is just a fraction.
I allow myself to slip into a comfortable place and steal kisses from her as she sleeps and dreams and waits for morning. I wait for morning in a wakened state and think about homelessness, starvation, pollution, cancer, aids, the foster system, the prison system, and our ever growing under nurtured population........and how I can fix it...I wish I believed in Santa Claus..I wish I believed in the baby Jesus...
I discovered writing so I had somewhere to place the angst. I love how people are more giving during christmas...there's so much more during this season. more debt, more junk no one needs, more people singing and praising a one day of the year God. A seasonal salvation. A once a year christian. We give presents because ...? We keep eating because were not fat enough, were not full enough, we want to feel full, we want to feel full, we want to feel full. Obesity is a disease that's killing americans. Were not hungry, were empty. So lets pile on all twelve partridges and three..no make it four slices of fruit from the pear tree because its Christmas! When magic is in the air and stuff brings happiness and religion and candles brings happiness and food will bring happiness too...right? We're empty.
In our five out of seven day jobs. Between buying houses, cars, pets, groceries, porn and cigarettes we must have missed something.
I walk around town passing people who I recognize from other times in my life. They are only projections and ghosts of others I knew and loved and laid and lied with from other states.Were all too cool to put out our smokes and take off our shades and extend word that Yes! we our all still alive, our hearts are still beating underneath these masks and distractions and insecurities. We are too cool, to collide, to risk, to try..to say hi. simply. Its simple. We are all empty people stuffing ourselves with stuff walking past the people that could fill us up, but on the streets of fear and cool and confident we are all missing each other.
were all just passers passing by.
"So this is christmas..and what have we done? another year over and a new one just begun." -JL
I allow myself to slip into a comfortable place and steal kisses from her as she sleeps and dreams and waits for morning. I wait for morning in a wakened state and think about homelessness, starvation, pollution, cancer, aids, the foster system, the prison system, and our ever growing under nurtured population........and how I can fix it...I wish I believed in Santa Claus..I wish I believed in the baby Jesus...
I discovered writing so I had somewhere to place the angst. I love how people are more giving during christmas...there's so much more during this season. more debt, more junk no one needs, more people singing and praising a one day of the year God. A seasonal salvation. A once a year christian. We give presents because ...? We keep eating because were not fat enough, were not full enough, we want to feel full, we want to feel full, we want to feel full. Obesity is a disease that's killing americans. Were not hungry, were empty. So lets pile on all twelve partridges and three..no make it four slices of fruit from the pear tree because its Christmas! When magic is in the air and stuff brings happiness and religion and candles brings happiness and food will bring happiness too...right? We're empty.
In our five out of seven day jobs. Between buying houses, cars, pets, groceries, porn and cigarettes we must have missed something.
I walk around town passing people who I recognize from other times in my life. They are only projections and ghosts of others I knew and loved and laid and lied with from other states.Were all too cool to put out our smokes and take off our shades and extend word that Yes! we our all still alive, our hearts are still beating underneath these masks and distractions and insecurities. We are too cool, to collide, to risk, to try..to say hi. simply. Its simple. We are all empty people stuffing ourselves with stuff walking past the people that could fill us up, but on the streets of fear and cool and confident we are all missing each other.
were all just passers passing by.
"So this is christmas..and what have we done? another year over and a new one just begun." -JL