(no subject)

[swanxheart]

I am so utterly done trying to please everyone. I am who I am. I like to think I'm a nice, level-headed guy. But I'm starting to think that I'm really not. And I don't want reassurance in who I am. And I don't want what all of you are going to say or think when you read this. Because the truth is I have to find out myself. All of you have different opinions about me. Which is why I have no opinion of myself. What the fuck am I supposed to think? It's so damn hard when the two closest people I have tell me the complete opposite. My mind is gone. I'm tired, boring, and easy going at this point. And oh gosh I hate talking about myself. But maybe once I start, it'll get me somewhere. Through all this bullshit of friends who at some point are utterly dispensible (as am I at any given point) and the ridiculousness of a superficial, benign life, I have managed to lose my opinion of who I am.

I'm so far gone now
I've been running on empty