Eureka! I have found it...and it's not gold, either.
The future is too daunting a subject. That's why I'm ever so grateful for the past and the pleasant distractions of the future. And books...I love those stinkin' things. Like the Bell Jar, haha. I love putting myself inside of her and seeing the world, just for one second, like her in her suicidal state. I always tell myself that the reason I dwell in so many different emotions of others is so that I can act it out. Heh, I guess I don't really have much opportunity to go acting, which I'd love to do. I love capturing an emotion and experiencing it. Some people collect coins, stamps, postcards, whatever...I collect these experiences. I like to dwell on the suicidal attitude only in books, though. For me, life is all about feeling, experiencing, being taken somewhere. I revel in every chance I get to delve into somebody's head, whether through music or writing or a movie. The only restriction...I know it's lame, but still...the restriction is that I can't cry. I never let myself cry. The only water dripping down my face is from too many yawns...and the boogers, but that's a different story, lol. (see, I'm trying to be funny and it's not working, lol) Life's meant to be cherished. I guess my form of doing that is experiencing the wide range of things there are to be. Of course I have self-restraint and I'm not going to go out and like OD on drugs or something crazy like that. I'm mostly talking about raw human thought and emotion. Art is the best vehicle for such a thing. And best taken with a dose of laughter, of course. I laugh at random things enough to keep me sober from sorrow, that's for sure. Haha, just thinking about a crazy macro from the night before, or a Flight of the Conchords song stuck in my head, or some lame gay joke I (and only me it seems) find in everyday conversation but dare not blurt out... Btw, am I the only person near SF that finds a gay joke funny? All my friends think they're distasteful! >.< Anyways, I just had an interesting theory about my collections. Maybe the reason that creativity flows so freely through my veins is because I have all these raw emotions of myself and others to outpour. Just like Sylvia Plath collected those images and pretended they were alright... Nice. I love these Eureka! moments. Makes me feel Californian, haha. (Eureka's our state motto/saying/phrase thingie) Revelations about how I tick are always amazing. I love discovering things simply through my own brainpower. ^^ Self-mental-verbalizations aside...
On the way back from our tennis match (which we lost, btw. I'm really no good at this crap), we were talking about what radio station to turn it to and my friend's mom had it on some generic station playing "Unwritten" and "Crazy" and all those lame hits from like...last year. I told them to switch it to one of my favorite stations, which plays the harder/later side of classic rock. And they said they'd turn it there...for one song. And what's the song, but "Comfortably Numb" by the amazing Floyd, of course. ESP? I'm thinking yes. Anyways, I'm there in the back jamming and singing along and whatnot, and they're looking strangely at me and the mom says "this song's about being stoned". I explain the context of the song within "The Wall"...you know, with the character (Pink)'s situation of being isolated and stuff. Then, all my friends in the car seem to be elevated in their repulsion to my choice of music. >.< And of course, even more weirded out when I hummed the guitar solo. :P So they switched the station back after the song, anyways. The DJ of the station at least shared my joy upon hearing it. She's a cool DJ. She plays the afternoon commute times. ^^ Anyways, I was just annoyed that people can't appreciate music for music's sake. Is it about being stoned, about being behind a wall, about doctors, shots, whatever? Some of the best music in the world was created under drugs. I've accepted that. That doesn't mean I condone drug use or anything. (they were the psychedelic years. Now we get psychedelic influences from the music instead of the drugs, heh heh) But why do people shun music simply because the musicians were stoned? So many of my friends do that and it's driving me nutso! Ugh.
I need a place where I can tell lame gay jokes and listen to stoner music. Oh, the 60s you say? Perfect. ^^
Either way, I do believe I've put this entry to some use. I've had a eureka moment and had a nice little rant.
Plus, Simon and Garfunkel music always makes me feel all nostalgic and thoughtful. Especially at Wednesday Morning, 3 am...or Saturday Morning 1:24 am. ;)
"Remember That Night" is tomorrow! I'm going to go with my dad. Maybe my other two friends will show up, maybe not, but at least I'm going with somebody. I'll give a recap, I'll be sure to. I'm sure I'll have plenty of rants, eureka moments, thoughts, nostalgities, and plenty other sentiments afterwards.
Katrina
Ps- Psych and Monk this evening were brilliant. ^^ Can't wait until January!
On the way back from our tennis match (which we lost, btw. I'm really no good at this crap), we were talking about what radio station to turn it to and my friend's mom had it on some generic station playing "Unwritten" and "Crazy" and all those lame hits from like...last year. I told them to switch it to one of my favorite stations, which plays the harder/later side of classic rock. And they said they'd turn it there...for one song. And what's the song, but "Comfortably Numb" by the amazing Floyd, of course. ESP? I'm thinking yes. Anyways, I'm there in the back jamming and singing along and whatnot, and they're looking strangely at me and the mom says "this song's about being stoned". I explain the context of the song within "The Wall"...you know, with the character (Pink)'s situation of being isolated and stuff. Then, all my friends in the car seem to be elevated in their repulsion to my choice of music. >.< And of course, even more weirded out when I hummed the guitar solo. :P So they switched the station back after the song, anyways. The DJ of the station at least shared my joy upon hearing it. She's a cool DJ. She plays the afternoon commute times. ^^ Anyways, I was just annoyed that people can't appreciate music for music's sake. Is it about being stoned, about being behind a wall, about doctors, shots, whatever? Some of the best music in the world was created under drugs. I've accepted that. That doesn't mean I condone drug use or anything. (they were the psychedelic years. Now we get psychedelic influences from the music instead of the drugs, heh heh) But why do people shun music simply because the musicians were stoned? So many of my friends do that and it's driving me nutso! Ugh.
I need a place where I can tell lame gay jokes and listen to stoner music. Oh, the 60s you say? Perfect. ^^
Either way, I do believe I've put this entry to some use. I've had a eureka moment and had a nice little rant.
Plus, Simon and Garfunkel music always makes me feel all nostalgic and thoughtful. Especially at Wednesday Morning, 3 am...or Saturday Morning 1:24 am. ;)
"Remember That Night" is tomorrow! I'm going to go with my dad. Maybe my other two friends will show up, maybe not, but at least I'm going with somebody. I'll give a recap, I'll be sure to. I'm sure I'll have plenty of rants, eureka moments, thoughts, nostalgities, and plenty other sentiments afterwards.
Katrina
Ps- Psych and Monk this evening were brilliant. ^^ Can't wait until January!