Asshole of the Day 7/16/13
Source: OKCupid
Method of Communication: Private e-mail messages through the site
Type(s) of Fail: Asexuality fail, vegetarian fail, rejection rage, entitlement
Result: Blocked
What you may need to know: Pay close attention to the timestamps on this one, and keep in mind that there is a chat feature on OKCupid which this fellow was NOT using. These were e-mails, not real-time chats.
robertdriscoll Jul 15, 2013 - 8:52pm
i would like to be your friend
Well, that's nice, Robert. See, on OKCupid people don't often pay attention to the fact that I am on the site for friends and pen pals, so even though this is a one-line message and I ask people not to send those to me, I figured I could at least offer him a one-line response.
swankivy Jul 16, 2013 - 2:29am
Great, if you have something cool to talk about, go for it!
Robert followed up with disturbing eagerness. These are all separate messages. I was doing something else and my mailbox kept dinging, and when I checked they were all separate messages fired off from him. Keep in mind the messages on OKCupid function as e-mails, not chat. The site has a separate chat function and he was not using it.
robertdriscoll Jul 16, 2013 - 2:31am
so what kind of music do you like?
robertdriscoll Jul 16, 2013 - 2:32am
I know thats cliche but Im a big music fan and play violin and guitar so im always curious about peoples tastes.
robertdriscoll Jul 16, 2013 - 2:39am
I was reading your profile and I was impressed with the fact that you are a vegetarian and identify as asexual I am the same its rare to find people with both those traits.
Okay, so, despite the annoying tendency to rapidly hit send after every thought that came into his head instead of doing what I asked for in my profile (sending me a measured, well-thought-out first contact and conversation starter), I again figured I'd answer this guy. He was, after all, being friendly (even though he was asking me a question that I'd answered thoroughly in my profile; "favorite music" is a category prompted by the system), and he claimed to be an asexual vegetarian, which meant we might at least have something in common.
My answer:
swankivy Jul 16, 2013 - 2:44am
If you'd like to know more about my musical interests, I have a nearly comprehensive discussion of what music artists I like in the section of the profile that asks that question. As a person who likes music yourself, you probably understand that it's too broad of a question to answer briefly, and since I answered it pretty extensively in the profile, I'll just let you look at it there so I don't have to copy and paste.
Indeed there aren't many vegetarian asexuals around here!
So, nearly three in the morning and I had answered this dude. I went to bed shortly after. But he continued in the established pattern, firing off messages to me every few minutes. Look at the times on these.
robertdriscoll Jul 16, 2013 - 2:48am
yes, musical interests are very broad I am a classically trained guitar player and enjoy every single style on some level.I did read your music Interests on the profile page but I thought you might wanna discuss a genere in depth possibly.
robertdriscoll Jul 16, 2013 - 2:51am
Im impressed with what you have listed there I love every single one of those artists but I love almost every artist so…
robertdriscoll Jul 16, 2013 - 2:54am
I see you read dawkins and sam harris I love both of them as well,I think we could get along.
robertdriscoll Jul 16, 2013 - 3:01am
I see your an artist as well I find artists especially writers to be much more interesting to talk to then non-artist types. I can't stand the banality of the average american right now. I find impossible to have thought provoking exchanges with people most folks watch reality tv and talk about garbage these days.
As you will see if you read on, I did not end up getting to address these comments of his, because what he sent next made our conversation too ridiculous to bother. But for the record, I had 220 musicians or musicals listed. I very much doubt he liked "every single one of those artists." That sort of comment makes me roll my eyes and think he didn't actually look. I was also pretty put off by the elitist statements about how people who watch reality TV aren't worthy of "thought provoking exchanges" with him. The fact that he was being an elitist dipshit here is ironic considering what happened next.
As I mentioned, I was in bed. I woke up and went to work and saw my e-mail clogged with five messages from him. The above are the first four. The following was number five.
robertdriscoll Jul 16, 2013 - 5:22am
After reading your profile in depth I came to the conclusion that you are probably a psychopath in the clinical sense.The pretense and arrogance is palpable,you seem to be fixated on how superior you are to everyone else. Reading the various nonsensical diatribes is some of the best comedy I've read in a while the dislike of dogs and cats is odd considering your a vegetarian but you probably are a wear it on your shoulder vegetarian who does it to pretend to have the moral high ground when in reality you hate animals. I am assuming you ignored me because my inquiries were not up to your intellectual standards.Good luck with that literary career maybe you can find a niche in which you can say "I" , "me" and "my" while contradicting yourself every other paragraph.I Also think your not a asexual. it's probably an attempt to feel superior to people because they are all sex obsessed monkey brained animals and you are far better than them of course.A literary savant has no time for meaningless physical gratification you of a higher evolution and far better than everyone else.
That's right, everyone. I'm not asexual; I just want to pretend I'm BETTER THAN YOU. I'm not vegetarian; I just want to pretend I'm BETTER THAN YOU. And I don't answer messages within two hours during the wee hours of the morning. Simply because I am just far too superior to you. (Oh, and my failure to answer a bunch of "let's talk about the things we both like and hate on people for not being able to hold real intellectual conversation" questions means I clearly have a mental illness, and that's something you should totally sling around as an insult.)
My response speaks for itself.
swankivy Jul 16, 2013 - 1:24pm
Actually, I didn't "ignore you." I responded to your initial comments and then went to bed. You sent four more two-line comments between 2:30 and 3 AM. And then you believed I "ignored you" because I did not respond immediately, seemingly unaware of the fact that OKCupid messages are not real-time conversations. It's pretty amazing that you'd assume I failed to respond in the middle of the night "because you didn't meet my intellectual standards," and it's even more amazing that you'd deal with that by having this ridiculous rant at me.
So you followed your perceived rejection with an all-too-common "I'M GOING TO ATTACK YOU AND JUDGE YOU BECAUSE I HAVE BEEN REJECTED" screed. People like you do this all the time-they perceive that they have been rejected (even though that's not even what happened here), and they LASH OUT, insisting that it is the other person who has a terrible problem. Calling me a psychopath to protect your own ego is kind of sad, but I've seen people like you over and over-people who must find fault in others to make excuses for why they are failing. Ask yourself why you sent me half a dozen messages before you even read my profile (from which you concluded that I have a mental illness), and ask yourself why my profile didn't turn you off to messaging me until you thought I wasn't paying enough attention to you. You may be able to see then that your reaction has nothing to do with me. You were all over my profile last night sending me praise and comments, but now that I didn't respond to you within two hours, I'm a psychopath. Got it.
The assumptions about my asexuality and vegetarianism are further manifestations of your insecurity. Funny how you look at my personal preferences and react with SO YOU THINK YOU'RE BETTER THAN ME? NUH-UH! It's really childish to react that way. Please examine your tendency react in a knee-jerk fashion to imagined slights that happen only in your mind, and try to learn to respond to what people actually say and express, not to the frightfully immature tendency to blame other people for your own shortcomings.
My asexuality has nothing to do with attacking anyone else's orientation or desires, and I'm clear about that; you WANTED to see me as a person who just hates sex, so you assigned me an attitude that you believe would justify attacking me. None of my writings reflect the attitude you've fabricated, so you should probably stop trying to put words in other people's mouths to feel better about perceived rejection. I actually get irritated when anyone suggests asexual people are morally or evolutionarily superior, regardless of whether they think they're saying something supportive, but you wouldn't know about that sort of thing because you're way too busy pretending I threw a stone here.
My vegetarianism is not a contradiction to my not liking pets; I've often joked "I don't like animals, even on my plate," and it's kind of absurd for you to pretend I'm confused about it just because you couldn't understand it (or that I "actually" hate animals, and have revealed through my stated preferences this despite my own intentions). I'm vegetarian for anti-cruelty reasons but don't want pets, and it isn't that hard to understand. Similarly to how I approach people who want different things in relationships than I do, I've never attacked someone else over what they choose to eat, so I'm afraid I don't fit into the box you've created for me. But maybe making up wildly offensive and bizarre attitudes to explain your failures makes you feel better, so I guess there's not much I can do about your unfortunate problem.
You have approached this site with a ridiculously unrealistic set of expectations and an unreasonable standard for response times. Get over yourself. You're really just not that important to anyone here, especially if you're literally going to have a temper tantrum when a girl doesn't answer you at 5 AM.
I blocked him then. There was a time when I would have just left myself open to the next response because it probably would have been funny, but I just don't have much patience with these jerks anymore.
Method of Communication: Private e-mail messages through the site
Type(s) of Fail: Asexuality fail, vegetarian fail, rejection rage, entitlement
Result: Blocked
What you may need to know: Pay close attention to the timestamps on this one, and keep in mind that there is a chat feature on OKCupid which this fellow was NOT using. These were e-mails, not real-time chats.
robertdriscoll Jul 15, 2013 - 8:52pm
i would like to be your friend
Well, that's nice, Robert. See, on OKCupid people don't often pay attention to the fact that I am on the site for friends and pen pals, so even though this is a one-line message and I ask people not to send those to me, I figured I could at least offer him a one-line response.
swankivy Jul 16, 2013 - 2:29am
Great, if you have something cool to talk about, go for it!
Robert followed up with disturbing eagerness. These are all separate messages. I was doing something else and my mailbox kept dinging, and when I checked they were all separate messages fired off from him. Keep in mind the messages on OKCupid function as e-mails, not chat. The site has a separate chat function and he was not using it.
robertdriscoll Jul 16, 2013 - 2:31am
so what kind of music do you like?
robertdriscoll Jul 16, 2013 - 2:32am
I know thats cliche but Im a big music fan and play violin and guitar so im always curious about peoples tastes.
robertdriscoll Jul 16, 2013 - 2:39am
I was reading your profile and I was impressed with the fact that you are a vegetarian and identify as asexual I am the same its rare to find people with both those traits.
Okay, so, despite the annoying tendency to rapidly hit send after every thought that came into his head instead of doing what I asked for in my profile (sending me a measured, well-thought-out first contact and conversation starter), I again figured I'd answer this guy. He was, after all, being friendly (even though he was asking me a question that I'd answered thoroughly in my profile; "favorite music" is a category prompted by the system), and he claimed to be an asexual vegetarian, which meant we might at least have something in common.
My answer:
swankivy Jul 16, 2013 - 2:44am
If you'd like to know more about my musical interests, I have a nearly comprehensive discussion of what music artists I like in the section of the profile that asks that question. As a person who likes music yourself, you probably understand that it's too broad of a question to answer briefly, and since I answered it pretty extensively in the profile, I'll just let you look at it there so I don't have to copy and paste.
Indeed there aren't many vegetarian asexuals around here!
So, nearly three in the morning and I had answered this dude. I went to bed shortly after. But he continued in the established pattern, firing off messages to me every few minutes. Look at the times on these.
robertdriscoll Jul 16, 2013 - 2:48am
yes, musical interests are very broad I am a classically trained guitar player and enjoy every single style on some level.I did read your music Interests on the profile page but I thought you might wanna discuss a genere in depth possibly.
robertdriscoll Jul 16, 2013 - 2:51am
Im impressed with what you have listed there I love every single one of those artists but I love almost every artist so…
robertdriscoll Jul 16, 2013 - 2:54am
I see you read dawkins and sam harris I love both of them as well,I think we could get along.
robertdriscoll Jul 16, 2013 - 3:01am
I see your an artist as well I find artists especially writers to be much more interesting to talk to then non-artist types. I can't stand the banality of the average american right now. I find impossible to have thought provoking exchanges with people most folks watch reality tv and talk about garbage these days.
As you will see if you read on, I did not end up getting to address these comments of his, because what he sent next made our conversation too ridiculous to bother. But for the record, I had 220 musicians or musicals listed. I very much doubt he liked "every single one of those artists." That sort of comment makes me roll my eyes and think he didn't actually look. I was also pretty put off by the elitist statements about how people who watch reality TV aren't worthy of "thought provoking exchanges" with him. The fact that he was being an elitist dipshit here is ironic considering what happened next.
As I mentioned, I was in bed. I woke up and went to work and saw my e-mail clogged with five messages from him. The above are the first four. The following was number five.
robertdriscoll Jul 16, 2013 - 5:22am
After reading your profile in depth I came to the conclusion that you are probably a psychopath in the clinical sense.The pretense and arrogance is palpable,you seem to be fixated on how superior you are to everyone else. Reading the various nonsensical diatribes is some of the best comedy I've read in a while the dislike of dogs and cats is odd considering your a vegetarian but you probably are a wear it on your shoulder vegetarian who does it to pretend to have the moral high ground when in reality you hate animals. I am assuming you ignored me because my inquiries were not up to your intellectual standards.Good luck with that literary career maybe you can find a niche in which you can say "I" , "me" and "my" while contradicting yourself every other paragraph.I Also think your not a asexual. it's probably an attempt to feel superior to people because they are all sex obsessed monkey brained animals and you are far better than them of course.A literary savant has no time for meaningless physical gratification you of a higher evolution and far better than everyone else.
That's right, everyone. I'm not asexual; I just want to pretend I'm BETTER THAN YOU. I'm not vegetarian; I just want to pretend I'm BETTER THAN YOU. And I don't answer messages within two hours during the wee hours of the morning. Simply because I am just far too superior to you. (Oh, and my failure to answer a bunch of "let's talk about the things we both like and hate on people for not being able to hold real intellectual conversation" questions means I clearly have a mental illness, and that's something you should totally sling around as an insult.)
My response speaks for itself.
swankivy Jul 16, 2013 - 1:24pm
Actually, I didn't "ignore you." I responded to your initial comments and then went to bed. You sent four more two-line comments between 2:30 and 3 AM. And then you believed I "ignored you" because I did not respond immediately, seemingly unaware of the fact that OKCupid messages are not real-time conversations. It's pretty amazing that you'd assume I failed to respond in the middle of the night "because you didn't meet my intellectual standards," and it's even more amazing that you'd deal with that by having this ridiculous rant at me.
So you followed your perceived rejection with an all-too-common "I'M GOING TO ATTACK YOU AND JUDGE YOU BECAUSE I HAVE BEEN REJECTED" screed. People like you do this all the time-they perceive that they have been rejected (even though that's not even what happened here), and they LASH OUT, insisting that it is the other person who has a terrible problem. Calling me a psychopath to protect your own ego is kind of sad, but I've seen people like you over and over-people who must find fault in others to make excuses for why they are failing. Ask yourself why you sent me half a dozen messages before you even read my profile (from which you concluded that I have a mental illness), and ask yourself why my profile didn't turn you off to messaging me until you thought I wasn't paying enough attention to you. You may be able to see then that your reaction has nothing to do with me. You were all over my profile last night sending me praise and comments, but now that I didn't respond to you within two hours, I'm a psychopath. Got it.
The assumptions about my asexuality and vegetarianism are further manifestations of your insecurity. Funny how you look at my personal preferences and react with SO YOU THINK YOU'RE BETTER THAN ME? NUH-UH! It's really childish to react that way. Please examine your tendency react in a knee-jerk fashion to imagined slights that happen only in your mind, and try to learn to respond to what people actually say and express, not to the frightfully immature tendency to blame other people for your own shortcomings.
My asexuality has nothing to do with attacking anyone else's orientation or desires, and I'm clear about that; you WANTED to see me as a person who just hates sex, so you assigned me an attitude that you believe would justify attacking me. None of my writings reflect the attitude you've fabricated, so you should probably stop trying to put words in other people's mouths to feel better about perceived rejection. I actually get irritated when anyone suggests asexual people are morally or evolutionarily superior, regardless of whether they think they're saying something supportive, but you wouldn't know about that sort of thing because you're way too busy pretending I threw a stone here.
My vegetarianism is not a contradiction to my not liking pets; I've often joked "I don't like animals, even on my plate," and it's kind of absurd for you to pretend I'm confused about it just because you couldn't understand it (or that I "actually" hate animals, and have revealed through my stated preferences this despite my own intentions). I'm vegetarian for anti-cruelty reasons but don't want pets, and it isn't that hard to understand. Similarly to how I approach people who want different things in relationships than I do, I've never attacked someone else over what they choose to eat, so I'm afraid I don't fit into the box you've created for me. But maybe making up wildly offensive and bizarre attitudes to explain your failures makes you feel better, so I guess there's not much I can do about your unfortunate problem.
You have approached this site with a ridiculously unrealistic set of expectations and an unreasonable standard for response times. Get over yourself. You're really just not that important to anyone here, especially if you're literally going to have a temper tantrum when a girl doesn't answer you at 5 AM.
I blocked him then. There was a time when I would have just left myself open to the next response because it probably would have been funny, but I just don't have much patience with these jerks anymore.