first snow of the year
yesterday morning my fingers were frozen purple and i kept dropping everything. a forty year old woman took over for me while i went on break, and when i came back, she was crying. "every since my ex did that number on my jaw it just hasn't been the same" i looked at her hands and they were worse than mine, a dark purple that looked painful. she kept dropping things. i took her hands in mine and held them to warm them a little and we looked at each other. i didn't know what to say. we both seemed embarrassed. then it got busy again, and we didn't talk for the rest of the day.
days before we sat in the car idle on the interstate. she was crying next to me. i couldn't help her. i couldn't find the place we wanted to go. we went past the right exit. we were hours from home. i needed sleep in a bad way, but all i had was more caffiene. "i'm sorry", i kept saying. the dog was in the backseat whining. she wanted out of the car. we all wanted out of the car. "i'm sorry, i'm sorry."
when we got to my mother's apartment it was dark. dinner was ready and all laid out. my mother had a black eye. she told two different stories about it. we ate dinner and i didn't ask any more questions. she had a movie she wanted us to watch. that one with eminem. i fell somewhere in the middle. i woke up and went to bed. when i woke up again, the dog had peed on the carpet. i cleaned it up and we left.
there are a lot of clean looking people all around me right now. everyone is finishing their final papers, taking online tests, some guy over there is talking about the merits of different beers. everyone looks so satisfied. sleek and unburdened.
days before we sat in the car idle on the interstate. she was crying next to me. i couldn't help her. i couldn't find the place we wanted to go. we went past the right exit. we were hours from home. i needed sleep in a bad way, but all i had was more caffiene. "i'm sorry", i kept saying. the dog was in the backseat whining. she wanted out of the car. we all wanted out of the car. "i'm sorry, i'm sorry."
when we got to my mother's apartment it was dark. dinner was ready and all laid out. my mother had a black eye. she told two different stories about it. we ate dinner and i didn't ask any more questions. she had a movie she wanted us to watch. that one with eminem. i fell somewhere in the middle. i woke up and went to bed. when i woke up again, the dog had peed on the carpet. i cleaned it up and we left.
there are a lot of clean looking people all around me right now. everyone is finishing their final papers, taking online tests, some guy over there is talking about the merits of different beers. everyone looks so satisfied. sleek and unburdened.