(no subject)
there was this bit i meant to put down for you- another flood of disconnected imagery washing away the markings on the milestones. assorted recollections of dalliances with the kingsport downtimers- introduced at the golden rail over a pint of loudmouth malted, "i never had nothing all my days," he said, knocking ashes into his lap unaware i was cataloguing his ejaculations partly for my own amusement and partly for this shared heritage, this tied up recursive pit of inbreeding that causes you to see cousin's eyes in the most unlikely of places. strange things collected in the cracks between the hills, nothing's shocking after a few generations, the hemispheres of the brain unfusing, slowly loosing their tight grip on each other, and like their primitive ancestors the people return to the existence of the internal dialogues with unseen deities, this static-filled chatter from the right brain coming in the form of late-night transmissions, the guilty conscience drilling holes in the arrogant heart of the beast, and as i smeared my ink across the page and looked out across the room i heard their voices echoed by my voice, plaintively whispered like the same old songs, and i sang along, the slurs between lines symbolic of one thing or another- but none of this is open to interpretation, you know- i'm immune. this might have been the point, but it was drowned out by so much pointless howling at the moon, our gross legacy of lost intent, and as i finished my glass i answered his story with another one, both tales of our brothers, the ones that made it out. i spoke my words and we sat in silence staring out at the traffic rushing by outside, and as the silence stretched out it became more and more apparent we had finished it, shown ourselves for all it really was, howling at the moon.
last night my body craved real nourishment, something to stick together the creaking bones for awhile, and not wanting to expend my skills on just myself i brought the friendly couple over, spreading my meager bounty around, too much garlic in the sauce but it was still quite alright, and we sat listening to jangly music and glancing at the corners together. but after being left at midnight i again felt the ill ease returning, no void to be filled by heavy food and fellowship, i took out to the streets staring blankly out at my breathing-out vapor as i took one step and then another, found myself two miles from home with a bleeding finger and words in my throat. kept the pace steady and made a loop through the dark neighborhood i was born in, small plain homes, windows boarded up, somewhere a dog panicking at the end of it's leash. a rickety blue house my grandparents lived in in 1964 leaked out country music into the night air and i stood wondering what year it was, remembered faded movie film of my mother and uncle as babies running back and forth down the same sidewalk i stumbled down stopping only to pick up a shiny bit of garbage. i put it in my pocket and brought it to you as this.
last night my body craved real nourishment, something to stick together the creaking bones for awhile, and not wanting to expend my skills on just myself i brought the friendly couple over, spreading my meager bounty around, too much garlic in the sauce but it was still quite alright, and we sat listening to jangly music and glancing at the corners together. but after being left at midnight i again felt the ill ease returning, no void to be filled by heavy food and fellowship, i took out to the streets staring blankly out at my breathing-out vapor as i took one step and then another, found myself two miles from home with a bleeding finger and words in my throat. kept the pace steady and made a loop through the dark neighborhood i was born in, small plain homes, windows boarded up, somewhere a dog panicking at the end of it's leash. a rickety blue house my grandparents lived in in 1964 leaked out country music into the night air and i stood wondering what year it was, remembered faded movie film of my mother and uncle as babies running back and forth down the same sidewalk i stumbled down stopping only to pick up a shiny bit of garbage. i put it in my pocket and brought it to you as this.