The Great Roach Massacre Of 95
Back in 95, me and my brother went on a mass raid into our room. Armed with two cans of "Raid" roach spray and some smashing equipment, we went in head on. Our bunk beds had a roll out trundle bed underneath. This is the scary part: We both had flashlights. We pulled out the trundle bed and went under. "Uhhhh, Daniel?...", I asked, shakingly. "Yeah.", he replied. "You see that?" We looked up and saw shadows of the spindly antenae of ROACHES!! Everywhere.... "Yeah........I see that". "All right dude....on the count of three we're going to get out from under here as fast as we can", Daniel asserted. "1......2......3!!!" We made a mad dash for the upper realm, and as soon as we moved, the roaches started scattering! We sprayed furiously! After about 30 minutes we could see that it was effective. We were dead aims. It was straight out of a Sci-Fi action flick. We rarely lost a battle with these little bastards. Soon there was a spotted scene of twitching and dying roaches sprawled and strewn about the room. When we couldn't hear anymore; we sprayed more. We were waitin' and hatin'. Still nothing. Our room had been cleared. But, that's not the end. We went outside into the carport where we used to have a Road Island Red Hen. A pet Chicken named Angie. She would later become a great allie in the War of The Roaches...but, not in this story. Anyway....Oh, our hunting skills were phenomenal. We lifted the top to the bucket of chicken feed and out poured probably a hundred roaches! You know what we did? (Bored Bystander: "What?" ) We started maiming them, not killing them. Just hitting them hard enough to slow them down. Then we took toothpicks..............And impaled them, one by one. We put them all in a nice little square in our mother's garden. It was a sight to see. Ohhhhh, if only we had a camera! They were all face up and still moving. The cool part is, when we got up in the morning.....they were all gone....all we saw....was a couple of red ants carrying a leg away. And that is the story of "The Great Roach Massacre Of 95".