New oven day
Yeah so our oven broke. What can you do. It was 16 years old. Doug wanted to fix it (sensible) but i was like...this is so old. We wont be able to. So we look at new ovens and i feel like he was a little annoyed at me that i wanted to go new. Like he kind of said "well we'll just do what you want." ...fuckin... okay. So i took my time to call a repair place. Then find the serial number just to find out they no longer manufacture parts for it. Because its that old. So we ended up with a new oven. I had to go get it and do the financing. I wanted doug to because he could build his credit and i didnt want another hard inquiry on my credit but... whatever i did that too. Its getting delivered today. It says between 4 and 8 but then i got a notice it was out for delivery at like 830 this morning so.... here i am waiting and not knowing what to do.
The kids arent bad today, im just so tired. Like so tired. I just am not being a good mom. In fact i cant believe i have time to type this. I really ahould be psycho cleaning but i just cant. Im so TIRED. And hungry. Veronica told me she doesnt love me today. Oh well. Its probably because i told her i had to work some nights this semester. She has been treating me like im subhuman lately and it has been hard for me. She doesnt listen when i am nice or gentle or firm or a little annoyed. She only listens if i have to fly off the handle. Why? I want to be gentle to her. I dont want to be a psycho.
Barrett is asleep so thats another reason i have a little time. I need to get the oven cleared off so theres no problem when the delivery gets here.
We had a mouse in the house. How did it get it? No idea. It got out in a glue trap though. Thats a story i need to type out or that i will hopwfully remember. Im so hungry gosh.
Im also so lonely. Barrett is wild. Veronica treats me like a servant at best. I never see Doug. I feel like we are home and able to look at each other for about 1 hour a day max. And its not a consecutive hour either. Im just so lonely and tired. I guess it will be good for work to start up so i can be too busy again to notice how alone i am.
Okay well i wanted to write it out.
Next week is our 10th wedding anniversary. I got Doug a few things but i STRUGGLED. I really dont know what he might want. Plus i have no money because of stuff that was put on the cc and now an oven i have to pay for. 🙃 i arranged a baby sitter and a night for us to go out. I wonder if he has even thought about it. :'( i feel like this year we are equally busy but I always try to think of him and try to do nice things for him. I dont feel like abyone on the planet thinks of me unless they want something. I mean why should they? What use am i other than to work and clean and provide some type of service. Im not funny or fun or attractive or interesting. I just exist. Maybe i will feel better if i am allowed to eat. (Spoiler, theres not a ton of food to eat here.)
The kids arent bad today, im just so tired. Like so tired. I just am not being a good mom. In fact i cant believe i have time to type this. I really ahould be psycho cleaning but i just cant. Im so TIRED. And hungry. Veronica told me she doesnt love me today. Oh well. Its probably because i told her i had to work some nights this semester. She has been treating me like im subhuman lately and it has been hard for me. She doesnt listen when i am nice or gentle or firm or a little annoyed. She only listens if i have to fly off the handle. Why? I want to be gentle to her. I dont want to be a psycho.
Barrett is asleep so thats another reason i have a little time. I need to get the oven cleared off so theres no problem when the delivery gets here.
We had a mouse in the house. How did it get it? No idea. It got out in a glue trap though. Thats a story i need to type out or that i will hopwfully remember. Im so hungry gosh.
Im also so lonely. Barrett is wild. Veronica treats me like a servant at best. I never see Doug. I feel like we are home and able to look at each other for about 1 hour a day max. And its not a consecutive hour either. Im just so lonely and tired. I guess it will be good for work to start up so i can be too busy again to notice how alone i am.
Okay well i wanted to write it out.
Next week is our 10th wedding anniversary. I got Doug a few things but i STRUGGLED. I really dont know what he might want. Plus i have no money because of stuff that was put on the cc and now an oven i have to pay for. 🙃 i arranged a baby sitter and a night for us to go out. I wonder if he has even thought about it. :'( i feel like this year we are equally busy but I always try to think of him and try to do nice things for him. I dont feel like abyone on the planet thinks of me unless they want something. I mean why should they? What use am i other than to work and clean and provide some type of service. Im not funny or fun or attractive or interesting. I just exist. Maybe i will feel better if i am allowed to eat. (Spoiler, theres not a ton of food to eat here.)