Everythign thats happend...
Saturday- Well I dunno wat to do... Kenny Is sooo pissed at me and I TRIED to fix it the best i can. Then ray is mad at me about yesterday when i was talking with jos about that night... well yeah so he isnt talking to me anymore... It might be over... I dun want it to be... but i swear this shit always happends... i cant take the pain.... i swear it would be easier if i moved away... no one would care... esp. ray.. I was texting him and I was all i am crying now I am sorry i really am, and hes all who cares if your crying... I was all well if you dun care then you obviously dun love me and you lied when you told me you did, then he never answered back and i wa all see if you dun love me why are you still with me... he never wrote back so i dunno wat to do and kenny keeps saying HE HATES ME SOOO MUCH!!! yeah so hmmm im just a fuck up... let me go and forget me!
Monday- I wanna die... so yeah i dunno.... Ray hates me and Im going .... Bye
Me and Ray are over... he said i was flirting with kenny... but w/e... he can go suck a nut... geezes cripes... i swear... yeah so I dunno... he was asking if i wanted the things i gave him back and that hurt REALLY bad... then i said no... cuz duh its his... i gave it to him, im not an indian giver... but w/e and hes all well i am going to throw them away, so that hurt worse but i was pissed and i stoped crying cuz I was too angery... i was like fuming.. and i told him to Fuck off... yeah Grrness.. so i am gunna eat dinner now.! yeah Byeness!!
Went over to kennys, 4 wheeled and umm... played 007... went got ice cream (big mistake on all of it.)
Tuesday- I know I shouldnt have gone over to kennys yesterday... I just wanted to get my mind off crying... I am sorry... I love ray. and When i was with kenny... we didnt do anything... at all! So dun think we did... I had fun yes, but if i were with ray it would have been 110% better. And all i thought about was ray, ray ray ray ray ray and how much i love him and miss him... it took alot not to cry... When i was on the 4 wheeler, i was all thinking, if i were with ray, we could stop right here and it would be a good make out spot... yeah and when me and kenny were playing 007 (i really didnt wanna but watever i sucked bad at games anyway...) I was all hmm it kinda reminds me of when ray plays counterstrike (and ray you are supposed to teach me how to play that and halo i asked you if you would... so dont get mad about the game thing cuz i do wanna play with you... oh and NFSU cuz i like to race...)and when me and kenny went to DQ i almost did cry. Cuz I went to DQ with Ray and his dad... and I got a Reeses PB cup blizzard. Thats wat i got and i remembered Ray and then Everything else...Last night when i got home ray was mad cuz i was with kenny... I AM SOOOOOO SORRY.... I was so sorry i wanted to prove i love him so i snuck outta my house to see him and stop him from doing something stupid..., my mom caught me though... so i am grounded for a month. Thats how much i care... But today at school i thought ray didnt wanna talk to me so i wasnt planning on it... but as soon as i saw him i started balling... couldnt stop crying thinking it was all over... I love him soo much... *cries* well he texted asking me in 1st why i didnt talk to him... I said i didnt think he wanted me to... well after 1st and before 2nd i saw him in the hall and he came up to me and i started crying... he gave me a hug and just held me... I knew everything wasnt better but it was a start... he told me everything will be ok, He told me not to cry. I couldnt help it... i love him too much. well for the rest of the day he was with me and we were... ok... i guess... well i wanted a kiss but he wouldnt kiss me. So i dunno... I want everything back to the begining... when me and him were perfect. I LOVE YOU RAY PLEASE UNDERSTAND THAT!!!!!
On a happier note... I bought the movie Thirteen Today!!! I love that movie so much. Its about 13 yr olds stealing and cutting and smoking and drugging and fucking and peircing... Yeah... ummness.... ugh i got cramps.... owwweeeee stupid time o' the month.... urg... i cant wait to get my flip phone...eee.... anyway... i am gunna go... so yeah Bye....
I love you ray so please remember that...!!!!
~*Ariel*~
Today- I think that me and Ray are going to be Just fine... I hope... i really do... yeah well uh... Today's events well this morning i went up to ray and he wouldnt hug me so i asked him why and urg... longness of the storyness... yeah well at the end of the day (after another lunch of crying) we texted in 4th and i gave him a ride home... Yeah he gave me a kiss and it realy suprised me cuz i wasnt expecting it. I felt so loved again. But then after an hour he texted asking if e could go see shannon... i was all like dating? and hes all no and i was all go ahead just dun kiss and hes all why i was all cuz its cheating... hes all you got to and i was all I DIDNT CHEAT i love you soo much. And then... yeah hes all well i dont want to make things worse... urgness... I wanna die.... my head is pounding.. i just finished watching Thirteen (the bestest movie...) and eating green chile cheese chicken enchiladas... yeah they were good... but now i feel sick... Cramps hurt and i am gunna take a shower.!!! BYENESS!!!
~*Ariel*~ (I LOVE YOU RAY!!!)