Regret
Regret is an interesting idea. I used to say that I don’t have regrets. That everything that happened to me has helped make me become the person I am today, and because I like who I am today, I don’t regret how I got here. But I heard someone else say it, and I don’t know, it seems like a cheap way out to me. There are choices that, if I could make again, I would change, so wouldn’t that mean I have regrets? Who can say that if the opportunity came to change something in their past they wouldn’t change a single thing? I got trapped in a relationship a few years back. Really unhealthy and really a bad time for me. However, because of that bad relationship I fell in love for the first time, I met the many new friends I have now, and I reconnected with, who is now, my girlfriend of over 9 months. But, although I do love where I am now, let’s be honest, if the opportunity came along, to not meet Jenny in the first place, I’d take it. I may never have reconnected with Ticia, I may never have met the friends I have now, I certainly would never have gone to Massachusetts, and I may not have even come to Trinity. But wait, how could I want that? Well, I guess I don’t, but that’s not what regrets are about. I got lucky to be so happy where I am after making some pretty bad choices. That doesn’t mean that, all things being equal, I wouldn’t have changed them in a heartbeat. Like I said, I got lucky. But I regret making the decisions that put me in some of the positions I was in before.
I think that saying “I have no regrets” is taking the easy way out. I don’t think that’s being honest with yourself. You may learn lessons from your mistakes, but that doesn’t mean you don’t realize you made them and wouldn’t have changed your mind if you knew then what you know now. Just think of all the relationships you’ve had that have ended poorly. Or maybe the fights you’ve been in that ended friendships. What about all the people you’ve let yourself lose contact with? There’s got to be something. Anything.
...Perhaps I day dream too much. I day dream about possibilities. About changes and alterations I would have made. About things that still weigh over my shoulders sometimes. I regret adding weight to myself because of the choices I made. I leeched off a family that was the most hospitable family I’d ever met. A family that took me in with only a few days noticed and housed me for over 2 months, asking nothing in return. I was too embarrassed and too scared to admit it to myself that I needed to stay the whole time. I repeatedly told them future dates when I thought I could get out of their hair. That family, especially the mother really saved me in a scary time of my life, and I never got to thank her or even say goodbye. I daydream about being back there and saying thank you, and meaning it so much. I regret that I did what I did and leaned so heavily on her. I feel like I will always have that guilt. I admit that.
I may be happy with where I am today but I have regrets...What about you? Someone tell me their regret? I can’t be the only one who made a mistake. I can’t be the only one with regrets...
I think that saying “I have no regrets” is taking the easy way out. I don’t think that’s being honest with yourself. You may learn lessons from your mistakes, but that doesn’t mean you don’t realize you made them and wouldn’t have changed your mind if you knew then what you know now. Just think of all the relationships you’ve had that have ended poorly. Or maybe the fights you’ve been in that ended friendships. What about all the people you’ve let yourself lose contact with? There’s got to be something. Anything.
...Perhaps I day dream too much. I day dream about possibilities. About changes and alterations I would have made. About things that still weigh over my shoulders sometimes. I regret adding weight to myself because of the choices I made. I leeched off a family that was the most hospitable family I’d ever met. A family that took me in with only a few days noticed and housed me for over 2 months, asking nothing in return. I was too embarrassed and too scared to admit it to myself that I needed to stay the whole time. I repeatedly told them future dates when I thought I could get out of their hair. That family, especially the mother really saved me in a scary time of my life, and I never got to thank her or even say goodbye. I daydream about being back there and saying thank you, and meaning it so much. I regret that I did what I did and leaned so heavily on her. I feel like I will always have that guilt. I admit that.
I may be happy with where I am today but I have regrets...What about you? Someone tell me their regret? I can’t be the only one who made a mistake. I can’t be the only one with regrets...