The need to belong
Click to viewhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iSQGk7h_K4s
It is now almost 2 years of living in our new home. We have moved yet again and this particular uprooting, I have found to be the most difficult of all. Our area is much more desolate albeit beautful and enchanting. It is a peaceful forest brimming with wild life. The neighbors mostly keep to themselves except when they find the need to complain.
I've tried to look up other avenues to connect with other human beings but it would seem that my kind of "crazy" is of a rare breed. All the medication in the world cannot change it. And so my social anxieties have flourished and blossomed into this sticky state of reclusion that is difficult to unlearn. I am now even more silent and still. The circumstances feel as if they have changed so drastically. I find myself thankful for what we have as these are still difficult times. But my strength is often maxed out. Mostly, I just have enough to get through the day and I am thankful that it's there at all. I just do not have enough to help myself grow and be better. Until an ample amount finds me, I will find escape in music. I've done it before...living inside of myself. Let's try this again. No use in forcing relationships. They are simply not built overnight and calendars are almost always never cooperative. At least not here in our own little forest