losing balance is okay... let's work this terrain baybee!
Sometimes I feel that I'm too cautious and I have every right to be because tredding on this life of mine - I have more than me to think of. I have my husband's happiness and my son's development (as well as happiness and victory for both) and of course our daily necessities. I can only risk so much and I'm lucky that I have a family that is willing to support me in following my dreams and making them come true. I needed all these years to gain faith in myself, to find peace with life's movements (going my way or not), to see God's way and not mine and finding the value and even tho at times I'm not exactly loving going His way that I would use His strength to carry on. I have had my close calls of ending things that should still be climbed and have sent and said these sentiments out loud but thank God I'm not in charge (but I am accountable).
There's this little man (well he's big now... but he was 15 when he started out), Kye Petersen... following his late father's footsteps who passed away in 1996 in this tragic avalanche (Trevor Petersen), a big mountain skier, is just conquering mountains!! http://www.kyepetersen.com/ That's his blog where he posts his journey. I am reminded of Martin Luther King's speech of "when you shine, you allow others to the same". Not verbatim but I thank Kye for his courage and for sharing his energy and just blogging about his journey. Watch the Edge of Never folks!! It's the documentary featuring his training by legendary big mountain skiers. It's the coolest thing I've ever seen!! :)
I want to do much more with my life. I'm going to knock this dream out of the park. I have a lot of learning ahead of me but I will learn it as I go. A life's GOTTA be lived. And I'll be rockin until I'm all grandma... I'll be a hip one, too!! I'm not throwing caution to the wind here kids, I'm just going to let my talents loose, I will use my mind to manage our day to day and make things work. I'll be starting back in Manila but I'll be flowing through this and will come full circle. My sister had a premonition like dream, a prophecy if you will. She did not know of the things that we did in Manila, that we had looked at a place to live, that Jay and I had already taken steps and actually stood on the land to experience the elevation for ourselves before securing it. She dremt that we picked her up from the airport and that we went to our house and she described the area of where the house was and even the vehicle we used to pick her up... every detail she gave - it was right on. These were and are still all plans, eventho we have made concrete steps towards it, but she actually saw them built, down to the car that Jay emailed me last week that he said we should get for me when we move (no IF's). Thank you Lord for this opportunity. It truly is in my heart to do this. And I know I needed the quiet time to learn humility, that I needed to learn how to get out of my dreamstate for a bit so I could work things out clearly to myself, that I needed all this busy atmosphere in my work life to be able to juggle things as thoughful as I can, and I needed to realize how slow paced I would like things to be so I could invest in dreams (not just mine) and still be a good wife and mother and BE God's daughter in the best way I can be, in all that I do. I believe that when you do what you love, when you're on the path that you should be - you feel God's presence more than ever.
Yesterday's woes - I had faced head on... and I'm relieved that we landed on our feet. We're not yet done so we will keep treading. The view just keeps getting better.
I am thankful for my husband. Everyday.
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"Responsibility for your decisions and the courage to follow through your faith.", not verbatim but taken from The Edge of Never.
That may not make much sense to you folks... but it makes every sense to me.