There once was a douchefag~
But we'll get to him later.
I'm not sure how things happen the way they do, but it seems the planets have aligned themselves to put me in the most awkward situations, that would make the majority of people stare, and be sure to remind me that most of the events that occur in my lifetime probably only happen once in a millenia. Last night for instance. My best friend, Kyrie, who had been in the hospital for a good 20 days, after contracting some horrible virus (still unknown to the Superior doctors of Arizona), a blood clot in her arm, pnuemonia, and a cancer scare-- how she was able to have them all at the same time still blows my mind-- had taken a drive down from Arizona, to come and visit me, and our other best friend who moved to Missori six years ago, was kicked out of her mom's house, and is once more living here in good old Cali-four-nai-aye~. Most of that information was irrelevent, so I'll move on.
Hearing that she'd be down for the weekend, I disguarded my sense of reason and called out of my restraunt job, and called our friend Luke (who, althought is a pretty big douche, isn't that one I'll talk about today). Luke was already out hanging out with Amber, so asking them both out at the same worked pretty well for me. Kyrie got to town around 7:00, and the five of us (Myself, Amber, Luke, Kyire, and Kyrie's sister Fiona) had all journeyed off to Bella Terra. We had only planned on eating there! But the allure of Friday-night fun was too great, even if it ment suffering the next day (TODAY!?).
It was a gorgeous night. There was this awsome band, composed of a buncha middle-aged men livin their dreams, so the five of us decided to eat out on the Patio of Pomodoro- an DELCIOUS italian restraunt, who specializes in cheap, Italian food.
Before I continue, I must confess that, I love mushrooms. They're my foody-weakness not many know about. Not many, saved for Amber, who shares the same addiction to them. Except my addiction forgets it's there until I see the silky little morsals. Amber and I have a long history of Mushroom Wars. Our forks have clashed more than once on the battle field, trying to claim the bounty. Let me assure you, two young wiminz, fighting over mushrooms is never a pretty sight.
Our waitor was rather attractive, I must say. There was a certain artsy quality about him, but he was a bit too short. Amber was the last to order, and as if tempting fate, she ordered the one dish with msuhrooms. Until that moment, I had no idea there was a mushroom dish. I waited for a moment, for the waitor to tell her that dish never existed, and when he had scratched it onto his note-pad, I made a grab for the menu's to see if I could point out to him that dish wasn't on the menu. As if I was the expert here. But the waitor's skills had surpassed my own, however, and he had grabbed my menu and walked away. It was too late now to change my order. So I pitifully sucked at my Shirley Temple, listening to the converations around me, and the band. It didn't take much for me to forget-- it was out of sight, out of mind for the time being.
If you've never heard of igod, and claim to win at the internets, then I'm afraid I have some words to share. Just a few. Mainly to go to google and search for iGod. Your life will be changed. Most of the conversations last night spanned from a printed iGod conversations I found in the darker regions of the interwebs.
Our food came.
I was content at the moment to see my food set in front of me first. I spread my napkin in my lap, picked up my utenils, and froze as the smell of mushrooms, slowly wafted into my nose. Thankfully, kind Amber was kind. She allowed me some of her mushroom pasta, in exchange for one of my three cheese ravioli and spinich, which was fair trade in theory, until I saw the mushroom she gave me. It could barely be considered at all. Barely the size of a dime-- what sort of joy did she expect me to get from...that. I adressed my complaint, however it went unheard, as half my ravioli was half way down her esophogus. Something HAD to be done. Don't get me wrong, the pasta she gave me was delcious, not as delicious as cake, but it was good. But there was a severe mushroom injustice here.
I've never claimed to be a ninja, but I have played that 360 version of Naruto and I was pretty damn good at it. Mustering up all the skill I had learned, I stealthily reached out and attempted to rescue my well, deserved mushroom from it's captives plate, only to be thwarted by a fork and an angry skill.
"Lindsay. Remember the last we went through a mushroom speil?"
Oh I remembered. I remembered well.
But, true to my nature...I don't learn well. Which surprises me, being a college student and all. I think my friend CJ said it best.
"When God was handing out common sense, he musta been at the bottom of the barrel, and had to scrape the last bit off the sides, dumped it into my brain, and proclaimed- LAWL- IT WORKS."
Our waitor had oversaw our conversation and looked at Amber with a dissapproving stare, and shook his head. "You got cheated out of a mushroom. This is an all time low~"
While that was kind of a weird thing to say, I rolled with it, and whined how I was always cheated
Luke made a movement to bring back conversation to the table, and as soon as her eyes darted to him, for even the second, my fork shot forward and clentched onto my mushroom. That's right. My mushroom. Amber, so cleverly noticed my ploy, but was by no means any match for my skill. Our forks met with a clash, but victory was soon claimed mine as a glass of water fell. The little mushroom was set free onto my plate, and when I looked up, a glass of water had spilled all over the table, all over Luke, and worst off, all over Luke's food.
In retrospect, I did pretty well holding in all my giggling. I laughed on the inside, but ont he outside I was quite concerened. Everyone had assumed I had knocked over the glass, so I was made out to be the asshole, until later on during our meal, Amber had brought it up again, to put me down, when Fiona had mentioned that Amber was actually the cluprit. While, yes, it was my fault in theory the glass had fallen, Amber was the one who actually pushed the glass over. And technically, I could take it one step forward, and pin the blame on her for ordering a mushroomy dish around her. Lulz were had though.
The waitor had come back and noticed the mess. Luke was wet, his food was ruined, Amber looked quite angry, and me, prideful, with a wonderfully sized mushroom on my plate. It was prtty obvious what had happened. After re-filling Fiona's Ice Tea, he mentioned "This really IS an all time low for mushrooms..."
More lulz were had.
Fiona, the youngest of all of us, stated she was embarrassed for all of us (as really, none of us were that embarrassed), and made mentioned she'd never bring us anywhere. Luke was always prepared for such events, going out with me, something twisted was always expected to happens- so he had made sure to mentally prep himself before picking me up.
The rest of dinner was pretty smooth. I felt like a asshat for eating my mushroom first, but I got over it. I decided to pay for the tip, since I was the one causing all the trouble to our waiter, and everyone seemed content. Amber and I REALLY wanted to see Wall-E. And can you blame us? That movie looks awsome on all occasions. There's no use in arguing it with me either. Luke had promised to see it with someone else, and Kyrie and Fiona were racist against Wall-E, so our next choice was Wanted- with a unanimous vote. Mmm. Angelina Jolie and James McAvoy. Both sides of me seemed quite content~ and we were in luck. They had just opened a 11:10 show (I guess it was opening night)!
We had bugged the waitor a few more times, and I'm sure drove him wild with our last request of gettign seperate checks, but eventually we got to leave. I left the poor man a $15 tip for his troubles. Trust me. As a waitress myself, I can promise you, my friends and I are the dictionary definition of everything a waitor does not want to have. I at least tried to make it a bit more bearable. Fiona and I joked about not leaving the waitor a tip- just for the lulz. But realized how horrible that would be. After having a group like us, he'd probably turn on his seek and destroy mode, find us in a crowd and either demand a proper tip of punch us all in the face until we were seeing in the backs of our heads.
Out tickets were purchased. However, the title made referance to douchefaggory that was suppose to happen. By now you're all probably wondering- where IS the douchefaggory in this story? Well, my friends and I were loitering around the ticket booth, talking about nonsensicle stuff, when out of nowhere- it was hypothesized he used portals to find us, our waitor magically appeared. To be honest, I had no idea who he until he finished talking. He had said something along the lines of,
"Hey guys, I just wanted to let you know that it was real great of you to not tip me, or pay all of your bills. You were missing at least $2 from two of the tabs, and yeah. You're all a buncha douches, but don't worry about, I took care of it. You guys probably need it more than me,"
.......
The FUCK?
The five of us stood around in Bella Terra, half of us didn't understand what was going on, the other half forgot who he was, and I was the only one who apparently heard what he had said. We were all dumbfounded, to be honest. Luke wanted to be a man, just for a moment, and go tell the waitor off, until he realized he was too much of a woman to say anything to him. What reality did he live in, where $15 was not counted as a tip at all. It might have seemed a little bad I was the only one tipping, but Jesus Christ. It's $15. You weren't THAT good of a waitor. When everyone was on the same page, we were all upset and rather insulted. We stood there for a good ten minutes, struggling to either go back and exchange some wds with the douchefag, or go about our buinsess and find something else to do. Really. It was FIFTEEN DOLLARS. And it came to light Fiona also left a few dollars for the man too. Even if we had stipped him, who was he to chase after us? ....wow. He really did turn on his seek and destroy button. What a douche.
After said ten minutes passed however, we were still perplexed, wondering where my $15 had gotton too, when Mr. Douchefag entered the scene once more, again using his portals-- we honestly had no idea where he had come from! No one saw him comming until he spoke! This time, however, he had realized just how BIG his douchefaggory extended. Apparently, he had opened up everyone elses little black recipt booklets and had noticed no tip, and had imemdiatly jumped the gun and stormed after us. What an asshat. He apologized, and claimed he felt bad, and appreciated our buinsess and gave us free appetizer cards for the next time we came back! Take THAT. More lulz were had. Only me, yes?
True to our nerd nature, we killed time at Barnes and Noble, where out of character to me, instead of manga, I purchased a booked called Straight Man. I promise you, it's very rare for a book to hook me in on the first chapter, let alone the PROLOUGE. This book, so far, is taking amazing to all new levels. Srsly.
Thinking we'd outsmart the masses and show up for our 11:10 movie at 10:50.
Boy we we owned. By the time we got there, there was already a line from the place you get your ticket stub checked, to the place where you get your ticket checked on the other side of the theater. We were owned quite badly, as the five of us were forced to sit in the very second row of the theater. Our poor necks! Several people ended up leaving the theater as soon as they saw how crowded it was to get refunds, as the theater sold them tickets to a movie that had no more available seating. Suckers. They shoulda got there at 10:50. Or so we told ourselves to make us feel better.
If your squeimsh in that, you can't take watchinng a guy get a bullet straight through his head and watching the blood and other delicious innards splurt out left and right, then this is NOT the movie for you. However, if your violence quota has not been filled yet and if your a fan of universe-deftying, action movies with ridiculous violence, and a pretty interesting plot about a loom, than this is a movie for you. I personally, loved this film. If I had to compare it to anything, I would say it was alot like Shoot 'Em Up, but not quite. Shoot 'Em Up was the equivent of smoking Crystal Meth with a hit of acid under your tounge, which Wanted was just cracky. Still enjoyable though.
...someone show me how to do a LJ Cut please OTL;;;
PS- CRUZLE I'M SORRY I DIDN'T GET BACK TO YOU LAST NIGHT! I didn't have my phone and was gone all night OTL;;
PSS- KIIIIM. I'M SORRY I DIDN'T COME OVER TODAY (SATURDAY!?) NO CAR OTL;;
I love you, everyone, else<3!
I'm not sure how things happen the way they do, but it seems the planets have aligned themselves to put me in the most awkward situations, that would make the majority of people stare, and be sure to remind me that most of the events that occur in my lifetime probably only happen once in a millenia. Last night for instance. My best friend, Kyrie, who had been in the hospital for a good 20 days, after contracting some horrible virus (still unknown to the Superior doctors of Arizona), a blood clot in her arm, pnuemonia, and a cancer scare-- how she was able to have them all at the same time still blows my mind-- had taken a drive down from Arizona, to come and visit me, and our other best friend who moved to Missori six years ago, was kicked out of her mom's house, and is once more living here in good old Cali-four-nai-aye~. Most of that information was irrelevent, so I'll move on.
Hearing that she'd be down for the weekend, I disguarded my sense of reason and called out of my restraunt job, and called our friend Luke (who, althought is a pretty big douche, isn't that one I'll talk about today). Luke was already out hanging out with Amber, so asking them both out at the same worked pretty well for me. Kyrie got to town around 7:00, and the five of us (Myself, Amber, Luke, Kyire, and Kyrie's sister Fiona) had all journeyed off to Bella Terra. We had only planned on eating there! But the allure of Friday-night fun was too great, even if it ment suffering the next day (TODAY!?).
It was a gorgeous night. There was this awsome band, composed of a buncha middle-aged men livin their dreams, so the five of us decided to eat out on the Patio of Pomodoro- an DELCIOUS italian restraunt, who specializes in cheap, Italian food.
Before I continue, I must confess that, I love mushrooms. They're my foody-weakness not many know about. Not many, saved for Amber, who shares the same addiction to them. Except my addiction forgets it's there until I see the silky little morsals. Amber and I have a long history of Mushroom Wars. Our forks have clashed more than once on the battle field, trying to claim the bounty. Let me assure you, two young wiminz, fighting over mushrooms is never a pretty sight.
Our waitor was rather attractive, I must say. There was a certain artsy quality about him, but he was a bit too short. Amber was the last to order, and as if tempting fate, she ordered the one dish with msuhrooms. Until that moment, I had no idea there was a mushroom dish. I waited for a moment, for the waitor to tell her that dish never existed, and when he had scratched it onto his note-pad, I made a grab for the menu's to see if I could point out to him that dish wasn't on the menu. As if I was the expert here. But the waitor's skills had surpassed my own, however, and he had grabbed my menu and walked away. It was too late now to change my order. So I pitifully sucked at my Shirley Temple, listening to the converations around me, and the band. It didn't take much for me to forget-- it was out of sight, out of mind for the time being.
If you've never heard of igod, and claim to win at the internets, then I'm afraid I have some words to share. Just a few. Mainly to go to google and search for iGod. Your life will be changed. Most of the conversations last night spanned from a printed iGod conversations I found in the darker regions of the interwebs.
Our food came.
I was content at the moment to see my food set in front of me first. I spread my napkin in my lap, picked up my utenils, and froze as the smell of mushrooms, slowly wafted into my nose. Thankfully, kind Amber was kind. She allowed me some of her mushroom pasta, in exchange for one of my three cheese ravioli and spinich, which was fair trade in theory, until I saw the mushroom she gave me. It could barely be considered at all. Barely the size of a dime-- what sort of joy did she expect me to get from...that. I adressed my complaint, however it went unheard, as half my ravioli was half way down her esophogus. Something HAD to be done. Don't get me wrong, the pasta she gave me was delcious, not as delicious as cake, but it was good. But there was a severe mushroom injustice here.
I've never claimed to be a ninja, but I have played that 360 version of Naruto and I was pretty damn good at it. Mustering up all the skill I had learned, I stealthily reached out and attempted to rescue my well, deserved mushroom from it's captives plate, only to be thwarted by a fork and an angry skill.
"Lindsay. Remember the last we went through a mushroom speil?"
Oh I remembered. I remembered well.
But, true to my nature...I don't learn well. Which surprises me, being a college student and all. I think my friend CJ said it best.
"When God was handing out common sense, he musta been at the bottom of the barrel, and had to scrape the last bit off the sides, dumped it into my brain, and proclaimed- LAWL- IT WORKS."
Our waitor had oversaw our conversation and looked at Amber with a dissapproving stare, and shook his head. "You got cheated out of a mushroom. This is an all time low~"
While that was kind of a weird thing to say, I rolled with it, and whined how I was always cheated
Luke made a movement to bring back conversation to the table, and as soon as her eyes darted to him, for even the second, my fork shot forward and clentched onto my mushroom. That's right. My mushroom. Amber, so cleverly noticed my ploy, but was by no means any match for my skill. Our forks met with a clash, but victory was soon claimed mine as a glass of water fell. The little mushroom was set free onto my plate, and when I looked up, a glass of water had spilled all over the table, all over Luke, and worst off, all over Luke's food.
In retrospect, I did pretty well holding in all my giggling. I laughed on the inside, but ont he outside I was quite concerened. Everyone had assumed I had knocked over the glass, so I was made out to be the asshole, until later on during our meal, Amber had brought it up again, to put me down, when Fiona had mentioned that Amber was actually the cluprit. While, yes, it was my fault in theory the glass had fallen, Amber was the one who actually pushed the glass over. And technically, I could take it one step forward, and pin the blame on her for ordering a mushroomy dish around her. Lulz were had though.
The waitor had come back and noticed the mess. Luke was wet, his food was ruined, Amber looked quite angry, and me, prideful, with a wonderfully sized mushroom on my plate. It was prtty obvious what had happened. After re-filling Fiona's Ice Tea, he mentioned "This really IS an all time low for mushrooms..."
More lulz were had.
Fiona, the youngest of all of us, stated she was embarrassed for all of us (as really, none of us were that embarrassed), and made mentioned she'd never bring us anywhere. Luke was always prepared for such events, going out with me, something twisted was always expected to happens- so he had made sure to mentally prep himself before picking me up.
The rest of dinner was pretty smooth. I felt like a asshat for eating my mushroom first, but I got over it. I decided to pay for the tip, since I was the one causing all the trouble to our waiter, and everyone seemed content. Amber and I REALLY wanted to see Wall-E. And can you blame us? That movie looks awsome on all occasions. There's no use in arguing it with me either. Luke had promised to see it with someone else, and Kyrie and Fiona were racist against Wall-E, so our next choice was Wanted- with a unanimous vote. Mmm. Angelina Jolie and James McAvoy. Both sides of me seemed quite content~ and we were in luck. They had just opened a 11:10 show (I guess it was opening night)!
We had bugged the waitor a few more times, and I'm sure drove him wild with our last request of gettign seperate checks, but eventually we got to leave. I left the poor man a $15 tip for his troubles. Trust me. As a waitress myself, I can promise you, my friends and I are the dictionary definition of everything a waitor does not want to have. I at least tried to make it a bit more bearable. Fiona and I joked about not leaving the waitor a tip- just for the lulz. But realized how horrible that would be. After having a group like us, he'd probably turn on his seek and destroy mode, find us in a crowd and either demand a proper tip of punch us all in the face until we were seeing in the backs of our heads.
Out tickets were purchased. However, the title made referance to douchefaggory that was suppose to happen. By now you're all probably wondering- where IS the douchefaggory in this story? Well, my friends and I were loitering around the ticket booth, talking about nonsensicle stuff, when out of nowhere- it was hypothesized he used portals to find us, our waitor magically appeared. To be honest, I had no idea who he until he finished talking. He had said something along the lines of,
"Hey guys, I just wanted to let you know that it was real great of you to not tip me, or pay all of your bills. You were missing at least $2 from two of the tabs, and yeah. You're all a buncha douches, but don't worry about, I took care of it. You guys probably need it more than me,"
.......
The FUCK?
The five of us stood around in Bella Terra, half of us didn't understand what was going on, the other half forgot who he was, and I was the only one who apparently heard what he had said. We were all dumbfounded, to be honest. Luke wanted to be a man, just for a moment, and go tell the waitor off, until he realized he was too much of a woman to say anything to him. What reality did he live in, where $15 was not counted as a tip at all. It might have seemed a little bad I was the only one tipping, but Jesus Christ. It's $15. You weren't THAT good of a waitor. When everyone was on the same page, we were all upset and rather insulted. We stood there for a good ten minutes, struggling to either go back and exchange some wds with the douchefag, or go about our buinsess and find something else to do. Really. It was FIFTEEN DOLLARS. And it came to light Fiona also left a few dollars for the man too. Even if we had stipped him, who was he to chase after us? ....wow. He really did turn on his seek and destroy button. What a douche.
After said ten minutes passed however, we were still perplexed, wondering where my $15 had gotton too, when Mr. Douchefag entered the scene once more, again using his portals-- we honestly had no idea where he had come from! No one saw him comming until he spoke! This time, however, he had realized just how BIG his douchefaggory extended. Apparently, he had opened up everyone elses little black recipt booklets and had noticed no tip, and had imemdiatly jumped the gun and stormed after us. What an asshat. He apologized, and claimed he felt bad, and appreciated our buinsess and gave us free appetizer cards for the next time we came back! Take THAT. More lulz were had. Only me, yes?
True to our nerd nature, we killed time at Barnes and Noble, where out of character to me, instead of manga, I purchased a booked called Straight Man. I promise you, it's very rare for a book to hook me in on the first chapter, let alone the PROLOUGE. This book, so far, is taking amazing to all new levels. Srsly.
Thinking we'd outsmart the masses and show up for our 11:10 movie at 10:50.
Boy we we owned. By the time we got there, there was already a line from the place you get your ticket stub checked, to the place where you get your ticket checked on the other side of the theater. We were owned quite badly, as the five of us were forced to sit in the very second row of the theater. Our poor necks! Several people ended up leaving the theater as soon as they saw how crowded it was to get refunds, as the theater sold them tickets to a movie that had no more available seating. Suckers. They shoulda got there at 10:50. Or so we told ourselves to make us feel better.
If your squeimsh in that, you can't take watchinng a guy get a bullet straight through his head and watching the blood and other delicious innards splurt out left and right, then this is NOT the movie for you. However, if your violence quota has not been filled yet and if your a fan of universe-deftying, action movies with ridiculous violence, and a pretty interesting plot about a loom, than this is a movie for you. I personally, loved this film. If I had to compare it to anything, I would say it was alot like Shoot 'Em Up, but not quite. Shoot 'Em Up was the equivent of smoking Crystal Meth with a hit of acid under your tounge, which Wanted was just cracky. Still enjoyable though.
...someone show me how to do a LJ Cut please OTL;;;
PS- CRUZLE I'M SORRY I DIDN'T GET BACK TO YOU LAST NIGHT! I didn't have my phone and was gone all night OTL;;
PSS- KIIIIM. I'M SORRY I DIDN'T COME OVER TODAY (SATURDAY!?) NO CAR OTL;;
I love you, everyone, else<3!