Maaaadness...
I did it. I finally did it.
--
100_situations
Table 1, #45: ANIMAL
Warnings: Insanity! Crack! :B
Title: Animal Crackers: A Tale of Justice-Bear and the Pyro-Peacock
"Oi, Smokey..." Ace said suddenly while lying on Smoker's bed, flopping onto his back to stare at the grumpier man sitting at his desk. The Commodore looked less intimidating when he was 'upside-down'.
Smoker lifted a questioning eyebrow instead of asking a question (because that would be too much effort) and resumed reading his newspaper. Actually, he was reading a cookbook with interesting cookie recipes in it, but it was being concealed by the newspaper. After all, there was nothing suspicious about him reading a newspaper... just... not a cookbook.
Ace pouted. "Don't ignore meeeeeeee..." he whined, discreetly inching his feet closer to Smoker's pillow just to annoy him.
The marine Glared at Ace and his wandering, possibly smelly feet, and then said, "What is it, Portgas."
"If we used to be animals, what kind of animals would we have been?" Ace asked.
Smoker blinked. "What the heck are you talking about?"
Ace sighed and repeated with an air of unruffled patience, "If we used to be animals, what kind of animals would we have been?"
"I heard you the first time," Smoker stated grumpily.
"Then answer my question!" Ace shot back.
"We would have been humans," Smoker replied calmly before continuing to read his coo -- newspaper.
"You're no fun," Ace remarked, frowning.
"Fine. You would've been a monkey," Smoker snorted, flipping a page (well, two, but it looked like just one page -- of a newspaper -- was being flipped and he'd keep it that way).
Ace laughed. "No, Luffy would have been a monkey. He technically is a Monkey already..." he added, chuckling at the clever and veeeeery subtle pun he made. After a moment of silence interrupted only by the sound of pages turning, Ace declared, "I think you would've made a terrific bear."
Smoker stared at Ace with the best are-you-an-idiot face he had in his arsenal of degrading facial expressions. "I would not have been a bear," he said pointedly. "What makes you think I would have been a bear?"
"Because you're angry all the time," Ace said, grinning widely. "You hate being woken up early in the morning, you are really tall and excel at looming, plus you look like you'll maul somebody at any given moment."
"So that makes me a bear," Smoker said dryly, feeling his eye twitch when Ace nodded. "What animal would you have been, then?" Smoker grumbled.
"I don't know, I was hoping you would suggest something," Ace said, shrugging.
Smoker stared long and hard at the pirate sprawled across his bed before saying decidedly, "Peacock."
Ace stared blankly before saying, "Huh?"
"You always dress in flashy colours... if you even bother wearing clothes properly," Smoker explained. "Besides, you dress that way just to attract people's attention."
"I do not wear the clothes I wear just to attract attention," Ace protested. "I wear them because I like them!"
"Then you were born naturally hopeless and attention-seeking," Smoker retorted.
"I am not attention-seeking!" Ace exclaimed, sitting up properly.
Smoker carefully closed and placed the newspaper (and the secret-cookbook) onto his desk. "Well, the name 'peacock' fits," Smoker said mildly, trying his best to keep a straight face.
There was a moment of silence until Ace understood what Smoker was implying and flushed. "Smoker!" he sputtered indignantly.
The Commodore smirked and sat down next to the flustered pirate. "Care to prove me wrong?" Smoker asked slowly, raising an eyebrow.
Ace blinked and then smiled mischievously. "I'd love to."
--
Author's Notes:
-facepalm- Meh I wrote this in less than half-an-hour at like 10:30pm. MY BRAIN HAS ALREADY LEFT LOOOON AGOOOOOO... And someday I will definitely write about Smoker baking those cookies. Smoker cookies... mmm...
DO YOU LIKE BAD PUNS I SURE DO.
Lol, 'Justice-Bear' sounds like Smoker is a Care Bear or something.
--
100_situations
Table 1, #45: ANIMAL
Warnings: Insanity! Crack! :B
Title: Animal Crackers: A Tale of Justice-Bear and the Pyro-Peacock
"Oi, Smokey..." Ace said suddenly while lying on Smoker's bed, flopping onto his back to stare at the grumpier man sitting at his desk. The Commodore looked less intimidating when he was 'upside-down'.
Smoker lifted a questioning eyebrow instead of asking a question (because that would be too much effort) and resumed reading his newspaper. Actually, he was reading a cookbook with interesting cookie recipes in it, but it was being concealed by the newspaper. After all, there was nothing suspicious about him reading a newspaper... just... not a cookbook.
Ace pouted. "Don't ignore meeeeeeee..." he whined, discreetly inching his feet closer to Smoker's pillow just to annoy him.
The marine Glared at Ace and his wandering, possibly smelly feet, and then said, "What is it, Portgas."
"If we used to be animals, what kind of animals would we have been?" Ace asked.
Smoker blinked. "What the heck are you talking about?"
Ace sighed and repeated with an air of unruffled patience, "If we used to be animals, what kind of animals would we have been?"
"I heard you the first time," Smoker stated grumpily.
"Then answer my question!" Ace shot back.
"We would have been humans," Smoker replied calmly before continuing to read his coo -- newspaper.
"You're no fun," Ace remarked, frowning.
"Fine. You would've been a monkey," Smoker snorted, flipping a page (well, two, but it looked like just one page -- of a newspaper -- was being flipped and he'd keep it that way).
Ace laughed. "No, Luffy would have been a monkey. He technically is a Monkey already..." he added, chuckling at the clever and veeeeery subtle pun he made. After a moment of silence interrupted only by the sound of pages turning, Ace declared, "I think you would've made a terrific bear."
Smoker stared at Ace with the best are-you-an-idiot face he had in his arsenal of degrading facial expressions. "I would not have been a bear," he said pointedly. "What makes you think I would have been a bear?"
"Because you're angry all the time," Ace said, grinning widely. "You hate being woken up early in the morning, you are really tall and excel at looming, plus you look like you'll maul somebody at any given moment."
"So that makes me a bear," Smoker said dryly, feeling his eye twitch when Ace nodded. "What animal would you have been, then?" Smoker grumbled.
"I don't know, I was hoping you would suggest something," Ace said, shrugging.
Smoker stared long and hard at the pirate sprawled across his bed before saying decidedly, "Peacock."
Ace stared blankly before saying, "Huh?"
"You always dress in flashy colours... if you even bother wearing clothes properly," Smoker explained. "Besides, you dress that way just to attract people's attention."
"I do not wear the clothes I wear just to attract attention," Ace protested. "I wear them because I like them!"
"Then you were born naturally hopeless and attention-seeking," Smoker retorted.
"I am not attention-seeking!" Ace exclaimed, sitting up properly.
Smoker carefully closed and placed the newspaper (and the secret-cookbook) onto his desk. "Well, the name 'peacock' fits," Smoker said mildly, trying his best to keep a straight face.
There was a moment of silence until Ace understood what Smoker was implying and flushed. "Smoker!" he sputtered indignantly.
The Commodore smirked and sat down next to the flustered pirate. "Care to prove me wrong?" Smoker asked slowly, raising an eyebrow.
Ace blinked and then smiled mischievously. "I'd love to."
--
Author's Notes:
-facepalm- Meh I wrote this in less than half-an-hour at like 10:30pm. MY BRAIN HAS ALREADY LEFT LOOOON AGOOOOOO... And someday I will definitely write about Smoker baking those cookies. Smoker cookies... mmm...
DO YOU LIKE BAD PUNS I SURE DO.
Lol, 'Justice-Bear' sounds like Smoker is a Care Bear or something.