Catch Him If You Can
Yet another thing I wrote for hosio in ancient times. Written for the prompt "SmoAce + having fun". By fun I think of stupid things, so don't say I didn't warn you.
Info: One-shot
Status: Complete, 1100 words
Genre: Humor i.e. silliness
Rating: T
Pairing: Smoker/Ace
Summary: Ace thinks Smoker needs a break and decides to give him a distraction. (Not that kind of distraction, geez.)
--
Catch Him If You Can ('Cause He's the Gingerbread Man)
--
"Y'know..." Ace mumbled contemplatively one day, sitting cross-legged on the floor of Smoker's cabin.
"What," Smoker said, swiveling around in his chair to face the pirate.
"I haven't played Super Awesome Tag for so many years," Ace revealed, his tone of voice making the sentence sound extremely important when in all actuality it was, well, stupid.
He's reached new levels of idiocy, Smoker's mind noted. "What," he repeated, this time more out of incredulity towards the inanity of Ace's statement than actual curiosity. When Smoker received an answer with the words "It was", "a game", "Luffy and I", "made up", "together" consecutively, alarms began ringing in the marine's head, and he promptly refused to have anything to do with this... Super Awesome Tag.
"But Smoker..." Ace whined, pouting. "It's super and awesome!"
"I surmised as much from the name," Smoker grumbled, rolling his eyes. "And there's no way in hell you will ever get me to play it with you!"
"But it's like a combination of three of the most fun games in existence!" Ace said persistently.
"Even the 'let's see who stays quiet the longest' game?" Smoker said dryly. "Because I love playing that game!"
"No, not that one," Ace admitted, Smoker's sarcasm flying past his head. "But it's like hide-and-seek, Marco Polo, and tag all at once!!!"
"And I'd care because...?" Smoker snorted.
"You like chasing people!" Ace declared.
Smoker manfully resisted the urge to smack his forehead with a gloved palm, and said firmly, "No, I will not play--" a brief pause, while he gritted his teeth and prepared to sound mentally challenged "-- Super Awesome Tag with you under any circumstance."
A devious look crossed Ace's face. "Not 'under any circumstance', eh?" the freckled man said slyly. Then before Smoker had time to react, Ace had grabbed the older man's jacket and jitte (which Smoker had, regrettably in hindsight, left on his bed) and jumped out the window, laughing.
"Give those back, brat!" Smoker shouted, storming out of his cabin and onto the ship's deck. He saw a flash of orange disappear towards the island's forest and he cursed his bad luck. The marine whipped towards the shore in a coil of smoke and rematerialized with a heavy, booted thud at the edge of the treeline. "Where are you?" Smoker barked loudly. "I don't have the time for this, idiot!"
"Why don't you come and find me?" taunted a singsong voice whose location of origin Smoker couldn't quite pinpoint. "Otherwise, the chase wouldn't be nearly as fun, eh?" Then another infuriating and carefree laugh rang through the air.
Smoker angrily stomped towards the general direction of Ace's voice. "Get out here!" he yelled.
"No, Smoker, that's not how the rules work!" Ace's disembodied voice chided. "I'm hiding, and you're supposed to find me by listening carefully. Then you're supposed to catch me. C'mon, even Luffy understood the rules to this game."
"Don't compare me to that moronic brother of yours," Smoker snarled, eyes scanning the area. There were many trees, thus also creating an irritatingly large number of places for Ace to hide from him in. Normally, Smoker would relish the opportunity to hunt down a pirate, but this? This wasn't a damn chase. This was a children's game. CalledSuper Awesome Tag. Smoker was not amused.
Not. Amused. At. All.
And Ace, being Ace, seemed to delight in Smoker's lack of delight. "Aren't you the 'White Hunter'?" he goaded from afar. "I guess you're getting old and losing your touch -- can't even catch a cocky pirate made of fire who has a loud voice and a bright orange hat. Shame on you."
"I'm not exactly trying to catch you," Smoker growled.
"So I'm not worth the effort?" Ace said with feigned sorrow.
"Definitely not," Smoker replied.
"Ouch!" Ace cried dramatically, most likely wincing in pretend shock and pain, even though Smoker had no way of telling visually. "Smoker, your words wound me."
"It won't just be my words that hurt you once I catch you," Smoker muttered darkly. He ignored the slight upward twitch at the corner of his mouth when he heard Ace laugh (probably a facial spasm or something -- would have to get it checked later), and Smoker concentrated instead on finding the pirate. The imbecile was definitely moving because the voice's location kept changing, but the slight breeze made all the leaves in the trees rustle quietly, making it harder for Smoker to determine where Ace was hiding.
"Wow, you really are losing your touch," Ace commented (and Smoker noted that his voice was getting closer). "Guess I should give you some hints." When Smoker walked a bit further into the forest, Ace called out, "Getting warmer!", and when the marine walked even further still, Ace exclaimed, "Hot!" before laughing.
"That pun was almost as dumb as you are," Smoker said dryly, making the pirate laugh again. "And I don't need your hints, I can find you on my own."
There was a brief moment of silence where Smoker thought the pirate had accidentally fallen asleep, until Ace suddenly exclaimed, "Oh neat! I've always wanted to try using a jitte! Good thing it was hanging off the back of your jacket -- lucky me!"
"Give me back my damn stuff!" Smoker shouted, annoyance quickly returning (wait -- it had left?) and walking faster. "And don't play with that!"
"What'd you say?" Ace called back, clearly amused even though Smoker couldn't see him. "Play with it? Anything you say, Smo --" A curse abruptly cut through the air, and then a large, familiar weapon fell noisily from a tree.
Immediately, Smoker shifted into smoke, flying towards the tree his jitte came from and catching it in midair. He landed on a thick treebranch high above the ground and glared at Ace who was sitting near the trunk, wearing the stolen jacket and grinning guiltily.
"Guess I shouldn't have played with it, eh?" Ace said sheepishly.
"Caught you," Smoker said unnecessarily, rolling his eyes, then briefly pinned Ace to the tree with his jitte for good measure. "Tag. You're It."
Ace's grin was still in place, even though his momentary contact with seastone should've removed it. "See?" he said sweetly. "You're never too old to have fun. And for humouring me by playing Super Awesome Tag, you get a special prize."
"And what, exactly, is my special prize?" Smoker asked dryly, already having a good idea what his reward would be.
"You'll find out if you go back," Ace stated cheekily, before disappearing towards Smoker's ship in a flash of flame, leaving the marine behind cursing around his cigars and extinguishing burning wood and stray sparks.
Smoker was tempted to just stay in the forest in order to irritate the obviously horny brat when he realized he still hadn't retrieved his jacket.
Info: One-shot
Status: Complete, 1100 words
Genre: Humor i.e. silliness
Rating: T
Pairing: Smoker/Ace
Summary: Ace thinks Smoker needs a break and decides to give him a distraction. (Not that kind of distraction, geez.)
--
Catch Him If You Can ('Cause He's the Gingerbread Man)
--
"Y'know..." Ace mumbled contemplatively one day, sitting cross-legged on the floor of Smoker's cabin.
"What," Smoker said, swiveling around in his chair to face the pirate.
"I haven't played Super Awesome Tag for so many years," Ace revealed, his tone of voice making the sentence sound extremely important when in all actuality it was, well, stupid.
He's reached new levels of idiocy, Smoker's mind noted. "What," he repeated, this time more out of incredulity towards the inanity of Ace's statement than actual curiosity. When Smoker received an answer with the words "It was", "a game", "Luffy and I", "made up", "together" consecutively, alarms began ringing in the marine's head, and he promptly refused to have anything to do with this... Super Awesome Tag.
"But Smoker..." Ace whined, pouting. "It's super and awesome!"
"I surmised as much from the name," Smoker grumbled, rolling his eyes. "And there's no way in hell you will ever get me to play it with you!"
"But it's like a combination of three of the most fun games in existence!" Ace said persistently.
"Even the 'let's see who stays quiet the longest' game?" Smoker said dryly. "Because I love playing that game!"
"No, not that one," Ace admitted, Smoker's sarcasm flying past his head. "But it's like hide-and-seek, Marco Polo, and tag all at once!!!"
"And I'd care because...?" Smoker snorted.
"You like chasing people!" Ace declared.
Smoker manfully resisted the urge to smack his forehead with a gloved palm, and said firmly, "No, I will not play--" a brief pause, while he gritted his teeth and prepared to sound mentally challenged "-- Super Awesome Tag with you under any circumstance."
A devious look crossed Ace's face. "Not 'under any circumstance', eh?" the freckled man said slyly. Then before Smoker had time to react, Ace had grabbed the older man's jacket and jitte (which Smoker had, regrettably in hindsight, left on his bed) and jumped out the window, laughing.
"Give those back, brat!" Smoker shouted, storming out of his cabin and onto the ship's deck. He saw a flash of orange disappear towards the island's forest and he cursed his bad luck. The marine whipped towards the shore in a coil of smoke and rematerialized with a heavy, booted thud at the edge of the treeline. "Where are you?" Smoker barked loudly. "I don't have the time for this, idiot!"
"Why don't you come and find me?" taunted a singsong voice whose location of origin Smoker couldn't quite pinpoint. "Otherwise, the chase wouldn't be nearly as fun, eh?" Then another infuriating and carefree laugh rang through the air.
Smoker angrily stomped towards the general direction of Ace's voice. "Get out here!" he yelled.
"No, Smoker, that's not how the rules work!" Ace's disembodied voice chided. "I'm hiding, and you're supposed to find me by listening carefully. Then you're supposed to catch me. C'mon, even Luffy understood the rules to this game."
"Don't compare me to that moronic brother of yours," Smoker snarled, eyes scanning the area. There were many trees, thus also creating an irritatingly large number of places for Ace to hide from him in. Normally, Smoker would relish the opportunity to hunt down a pirate, but this? This wasn't a damn chase. This was a children's game. CalledSuper Awesome Tag. Smoker was not amused.
Not. Amused. At. All.
And Ace, being Ace, seemed to delight in Smoker's lack of delight. "Aren't you the 'White Hunter'?" he goaded from afar. "I guess you're getting old and losing your touch -- can't even catch a cocky pirate made of fire who has a loud voice and a bright orange hat. Shame on you."
"I'm not exactly trying to catch you," Smoker growled.
"So I'm not worth the effort?" Ace said with feigned sorrow.
"Definitely not," Smoker replied.
"Ouch!" Ace cried dramatically, most likely wincing in pretend shock and pain, even though Smoker had no way of telling visually. "Smoker, your words wound me."
"It won't just be my words that hurt you once I catch you," Smoker muttered darkly. He ignored the slight upward twitch at the corner of his mouth when he heard Ace laugh (probably a facial spasm or something -- would have to get it checked later), and Smoker concentrated instead on finding the pirate. The imbecile was definitely moving because the voice's location kept changing, but the slight breeze made all the leaves in the trees rustle quietly, making it harder for Smoker to determine where Ace was hiding.
"Wow, you really are losing your touch," Ace commented (and Smoker noted that his voice was getting closer). "Guess I should give you some hints." When Smoker walked a bit further into the forest, Ace called out, "Getting warmer!", and when the marine walked even further still, Ace exclaimed, "Hot!" before laughing.
"That pun was almost as dumb as you are," Smoker said dryly, making the pirate laugh again. "And I don't need your hints, I can find you on my own."
There was a brief moment of silence where Smoker thought the pirate had accidentally fallen asleep, until Ace suddenly exclaimed, "Oh neat! I've always wanted to try using a jitte! Good thing it was hanging off the back of your jacket -- lucky me!"
"Give me back my damn stuff!" Smoker shouted, annoyance quickly returning (wait -- it had left?) and walking faster. "And don't play with that!"
"What'd you say?" Ace called back, clearly amused even though Smoker couldn't see him. "Play with it? Anything you say, Smo --" A curse abruptly cut through the air, and then a large, familiar weapon fell noisily from a tree.
Immediately, Smoker shifted into smoke, flying towards the tree his jitte came from and catching it in midair. He landed on a thick treebranch high above the ground and glared at Ace who was sitting near the trunk, wearing the stolen jacket and grinning guiltily.
"Guess I shouldn't have played with it, eh?" Ace said sheepishly.
"Caught you," Smoker said unnecessarily, rolling his eyes, then briefly pinned Ace to the tree with his jitte for good measure. "Tag. You're It."
Ace's grin was still in place, even though his momentary contact with seastone should've removed it. "See?" he said sweetly. "You're never too old to have fun. And for humouring me by playing Super Awesome Tag, you get a special prize."
"And what, exactly, is my special prize?" Smoker asked dryly, already having a good idea what his reward would be.
"You'll find out if you go back," Ace stated cheekily, before disappearing towards Smoker's ship in a flash of flame, leaving the marine behind cursing around his cigars and extinguishing burning wood and stray sparks.
Smoker was tempted to just stay in the forest in order to irritate the obviously horny brat when he realized he still hadn't retrieved his jacket.