Oh, Steve, you brain-damaged child...
Steve is the strangest boy I have ever met. It's been... three years...? He STILL surprises me. Unpleasantly. He also has the loudest sneezes in existence that manage to freak everybody out every single time. Apparently, he also likes big butts which he can't deny.
I recently had the strangest conversation with Steve during AP Math Class.
Steve: Are you feminist?
Me: Uh... yes?
Steve: Then you're LESBIAN!
Me: Wait, what?
Steve: See, feminists support women, you support women if you like women, so you like women!
Me: Uh...
Steve: All feminists are lesbians!
Me: ... so are you feminist?
Steve: No.
Me: Then you're gay.
Steve: Why?!
Me: Because you don't support women, you dislike women. Therefore you like men, so you're gay.
Steve: Okay, then I'm feminist.
Andrew: [randomly butting in] THEN YOU'RE LESBIAN!
Steve: WHAT?! How does that make sense?!
Andrew: It doesn't, but you said all feminists are lesbians, so you're also lesbian. Unless you were completely wrong in the first place.
Steve: Then I'm not feminist!
Me: Then you're gay.
Steve: Then I am!
Andrew: Then you're lesbian!
Steve: ... I HATE YOU ALL.
It's sad that these sort of things happen quite often. Like the argument we had near the beginning of the year.
Steve's reasons for why we should pee in lakes when swimming:
Brooke (whose name is actually Brook without an 'e', but I do it to annoy him anyways) told poor delusional Steve that he could just use the bathroom, to which Steve replied that "sometimes you just really gotta go, like GO GO GO GO and you can't wait!" Then he proceeded to tell us that the sewers were getting too polluted because people weren't peeing in lakes enough.
Mr. G, our math teacher, was unfortunate enough to overhear that part of the conversation, to which he asked for a clarification. Then Steve went through his two 'arguments' again while we were shouting in the background that "lake is big" did not count. Mr. G concluded that Steve should build a lake in his backyard and poop in it. Then Steve started saying that you should only pee in lakes, not poop in them, because then it'd get stuck in your swimming trunks. Finally, Mr. G expressed his ardent hopes that Steve did not learn this from experience.
I don't understand what's wrong with that child. Honestly.
I recently had the strangest conversation with Steve during AP Math Class.
Steve: Are you feminist?
Me: Uh... yes?
Steve: Then you're LESBIAN!
Me: Wait, what?
Steve: See, feminists support women, you support women if you like women, so you like women!
Me: Uh...
Steve: All feminists are lesbians!
Me: ... so are you feminist?
Steve: No.
Me: Then you're gay.
Steve: Why?!
Me: Because you don't support women, you dislike women. Therefore you like men, so you're gay.
Steve: Okay, then I'm feminist.
Andrew: [randomly butting in] THEN YOU'RE LESBIAN!
Steve: WHAT?! How does that make sense?!
Andrew: It doesn't, but you said all feminists are lesbians, so you're also lesbian. Unless you were completely wrong in the first place.
Steve: Then I'm not feminist!
Me: Then you're gay.
Steve: Then I am!
Andrew: Then you're lesbian!
Steve: ... I HATE YOU ALL.
It's sad that these sort of things happen quite often. Like the argument we had near the beginning of the year.
Steve's reasons for why we should pee in lakes when swimming:
- Lake is big
- Lake is self-cleaning
Brooke (whose name is actually Brook without an 'e', but I do it to annoy him anyways) told poor delusional Steve that he could just use the bathroom, to which Steve replied that "sometimes you just really gotta go, like GO GO GO GO and you can't wait!" Then he proceeded to tell us that the sewers were getting too polluted because people weren't peeing in lakes enough.
Mr. G, our math teacher, was unfortunate enough to overhear that part of the conversation, to which he asked for a clarification. Then Steve went through his two 'arguments' again while we were shouting in the background that "lake is big" did not count. Mr. G concluded that Steve should build a lake in his backyard and poop in it. Then Steve started saying that you should only pee in lakes, not poop in them, because then it'd get stuck in your swimming trunks. Finally, Mr. G expressed his ardent hopes that Steve did not learn this from experience.
I don't understand what's wrong with that child. Honestly.