tori amos and a book i'm reading
"I really do feel as though I was psychologically mutilated that night and that now I'm trying to put the pieces back together again. Through love, not hatred. And through my music. My strength has been to open again, to life, and my victory is the fact that, despite it all, I kept alive my vulnerability." - tori amos
"Many of our mothers were themselves sexually abused, either as children or as adults or both. These are women who learned to put up with whatever men dish out. They had to, and they've passed along that passivity and/or fear to their daughters. Because they were not able to heal from their own trauma, they often carry their damaged self-esteem, their addiction, and/or their mental illness into their roles as mother. But you have a chance to do things differently.... You can break the cycle."
"Girls find many different ways of expressing their feelings about their sexual abuse. Some girls find writing to be the best way to get it out. I know an eighteen-year-old who filled three journals with drawings and writings about her incest. She said that every time she wrote or drew some of her feelings, she felt she let go of pieces of the pain."
"In fact, the basic premise of this book is that the best way to heal from sexual abuse is to talk about it, and the bet time to talk is now, while you are still young. Adolescence through your mid-twenties is the time when you are most able to change and grow. This is a time of tremendous transformation and you can heal the scars of your abuse the more you talk about it- now. Sexual abuse leaves wounds, but wounds heal and if you can get to them now they won't have time to grow deep roots and cause you a lifelong suffering."
Triggers are not controllable. But by recognizing what they are and when and why they occur, you can consciously re-map your emotions. My client who was molested in the bath, for instance, made the choice to take back the experience of bathing. She bought herself bath oils and candles and plays soft, sweet music so she can relax into the soothing waters. It didn't work at once, of course, but now she really enjoys a hot bath and no longer associates it with her abuse."
"At this point we cannot count on the police or the courts to protect us from rape. And our culture doesn't help. There is more pornography available now than ever before, not to mention the general "porno-graphication" of young women. It is no surprise that the director of many Britney Spears videos is Gregory Dark, a well known hardcore pornographic movie director. "
"Often, before we can talk about the traumas that have happened to us, we have to find outlets for our feelings. Whether you realize it or not, you probably already have a number of such outlets. Maybe those long runs at the track are helping you get out your anger. Maybe singing those gorgeous and sad Gregorian chants have been giving you a channel for some deep pain; maybe drawing strong women will full bodies in drawing studio has been making your body feel healed. That's part of the genius of the body and mind. We are often self-healing without even realizing it. "
"Many of our mothers were themselves sexually abused, either as children or as adults or both. These are women who learned to put up with whatever men dish out. They had to, and they've passed along that passivity and/or fear to their daughters. Because they were not able to heal from their own trauma, they often carry their damaged self-esteem, their addiction, and/or their mental illness into their roles as mother. But you have a chance to do things differently.... You can break the cycle."
"Girls find many different ways of expressing their feelings about their sexual abuse. Some girls find writing to be the best way to get it out. I know an eighteen-year-old who filled three journals with drawings and writings about her incest. She said that every time she wrote or drew some of her feelings, she felt she let go of pieces of the pain."
"In fact, the basic premise of this book is that the best way to heal from sexual abuse is to talk about it, and the bet time to talk is now, while you are still young. Adolescence through your mid-twenties is the time when you are most able to change and grow. This is a time of tremendous transformation and you can heal the scars of your abuse the more you talk about it- now. Sexual abuse leaves wounds, but wounds heal and if you can get to them now they won't have time to grow deep roots and cause you a lifelong suffering."
Triggers are not controllable. But by recognizing what they are and when and why they occur, you can consciously re-map your emotions. My client who was molested in the bath, for instance, made the choice to take back the experience of bathing. She bought herself bath oils and candles and plays soft, sweet music so she can relax into the soothing waters. It didn't work at once, of course, but now she really enjoys a hot bath and no longer associates it with her abuse."
"At this point we cannot count on the police or the courts to protect us from rape. And our culture doesn't help. There is more pornography available now than ever before, not to mention the general "porno-graphication" of young women. It is no surprise that the director of many Britney Spears videos is Gregory Dark, a well known hardcore pornographic movie director. "
"Often, before we can talk about the traumas that have happened to us, we have to find outlets for our feelings. Whether you realize it or not, you probably already have a number of such outlets. Maybe those long runs at the track are helping you get out your anger. Maybe singing those gorgeous and sad Gregorian chants have been giving you a channel for some deep pain; maybe drawing strong women will full bodies in drawing studio has been making your body feel healed. That's part of the genius of the body and mind. We are often self-healing without even realizing it. "