A Queen's Farewell
Rating: PG
Summary: All she wanted was to say goodbye.
Author’s Notes: On the heels of the finale, a lot of fans were sad that Guinevere did not get to say goodbye to her king. I was too. So I wrote a small drabble where she gets the chance. Sort of. It’s just an additional scene. It was cathartic for me writing this and really helped a lot. I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it. As always I don't own this show or the characters. I only borrowed them for a few moments.
The crown felt heavy for the first time since he'd first placed it on her head. She never really liked to wear it much. Neither did he. It just wasn't who they were. It had been days since Merlin had returned to Camelot with the news of the king's fate. It had been days since the ban on magic had been lifted. And she could barely remember the last few days since she'd been told the news. But suddenly, her crown felt heavier like never before.
Guinevere sat on the throne, quietly admiring the royal seal in her hand. He'd left her everything he lived and died for. His kingdom. His legacy. His future. And yet, she would give it all up if it meant he would be sitting beside her again. She'd happily be a farmer's wife if it meant that they were together. Just like they'd imagined all those years ago when they were both young and naive and hadn't realized the weight of their destinies. She tried to compose herself before turning toward his… her… first knight and nodded that it was time.
Leon swallowed thickly before stating the words he wished didn't have to be uttered for the entire kingdom to hear. "The King… is dead. Long live the Queen!"
Her heart shattered once again at the sound of their people accepting her as their Queen. Because this wasn't right. He should be here. He should be sitting next to her smiling and making her laugh. She knew her days of laughter were over. She'd never laugh again because no one could ever make her laugh like he did.
She tore the crown off her head and placed it on the pillow sitting on the desk in their room. She hadn't slept in days. How could she sleep when it felt so cold in this room now? She'd never felt so alone. Not when her father died and she had make ends meet on her own. Not when her brother died in her arms. He'd promised he'd never leave her. She slid to the floor and leaned her head against a wall and cried like she'd done every night since she was told her husband was gone. Her maids would find her curled into a ball later in the evening with her eyes wide open; unmoving. Gaius forced a sleeping potion on her. He said she needed to rest. Her health depended on it. She took it but not for herself. She was beyond caring about herself. She was no longer living for herself. She had a job to do. He'd entrusted her with something precious. But he was precious too. Didn't he know that? Didn't she tell him once?
Sleep came quickly. She felt herself fall into a deep slumber. The exhaustion took her into a dream state where she felt peaceful and warm for the first time since she'd been told the news of his death. Guinevere smiled sadly recognizing the wild flowers and the stream nearby. Her subconscious was torturing her.
"Guinevere…"
She closed her eyes. He sounded so near.
"Guinevere…."
She gasped.
"It's me, love."
She turned toward him and smiled for the first time in days. "Arthur…" Without hesitation she ran into his arms and he lifted her off the ground like he'd done so many times before. "I thought I'd never see you again…"
He cupped her face in his hands. "I've been waiting for you…"
"I'm sorry…" she whispered. "I'm so sorry…"
"Guinevere…" he stopped her. "You've nothing to apologize for…"
"Is this real?" she asked.
"It's as real as you want it to be, love." He smiled brightly.
She placed her hand over his heart and raised her face toward his with a quiver of her lips. "I've missed you."
"I know." He whispered before pulling her to him and crushing her against his chain mail. "I'm sorry I can't be there for you now."
She shook her head against his chest. "I need you… I cannot live without you… I can't do this without you…"
He lifted her face toward his and he wiped the tears from her face. "Yes, you can…. I've always believed in you, Guinevere… In your quiet strength... In your giving heart… You were the best thing that ever happened to me… and I need you to carry on…"
"I can't…" she swallowed thickly.
"You must…" he countered. "For me and for…" he placed a hand on her flat belly and smiled fondly.
Placing her hands on his she smiled. "You left me a piece of you, Arthur. I'll always cherish her…."
"Him." He interrupted so sure of himself, making her laugh. It was a sound she'd thought she'd never hear again.
"Him…" she repeated, trusting him. She'd always trust him.
"I love you, Guinevere… I always have. And I always will." He touched her face again.
"Will I ever see you again?" she asked desperately.
"I'm always with you." He answered and placed a hand over her heart. "I'm always in here. And I'll be in your dreams when you sleep."
"I love you, Arthur…" she bit her lip to try getting some semblance of control over her emotions. "I'll always love you…"
He leaned in and kissed her. She closed her eyes and gave herself to the kiss. Wrapping her arms around him, he pulled her tightly to him. The two broke apart and touched their foreheads softly.
"I'll always be with you, Guinevere. We'll be together again." He said with a smile pushing back a rebellious curl from her face.
"Wait for me, my love?" She asked softly.
"Always." He took her hands in his and kissed them softly before looking up at her. "With all my heart."
"With all my heart." She repeated with a watery smile.
"It's time to wake up now, love." He said with a knowing smile. "It's a new day."
Her eyes snapped up and she blinked against the sun streaming through her window. She sat up and realized she'd slept in her own bed for the first time in days. She smiled softly feeling the warmth of the bed next to her. "With all my heart…" she whispered.
Years later, at the time of her death, Queen Guinevere would be given a tearful goodbye and a private send off, much like her husband was given on that lake of Avalon. With her son and oldest friend to bid her farewell, she was to be buried alongside her husband and king just as she wished.
Merlin watched the small boat carry the Queen's frail body on the calm current and wrapped his arm around the young boy who would now inherit the greatest kingdom the world had ever known.
Llacheu wiped his crystalline eyes watching the boat carry his mother toward the foggy abyss that was Avalon. Merlin squeezed the boy's shoulder encouragingly.
"Everything you've told me about my father…." The boy spoke for the first time since they left Camelot with his mother's body. "Everything I saw in my mother… how am I to live up to that legacy, Merlin?"
Merlin choked back a sob. If anyone understood the weight of a great destiny, it was him. "You are your father's son, Llacheu. And like him, I believe you too have a great destiny. You will achieve great things. Just like him. Just like your mother."
"She was always so sad when I was growing up… the most peaceful I ever saw her was in death… I never understood it. Until now…"
Merlin kneeled down in front of the young boy and squeezed his shoulders affectionately. "You were born out of the greatest magic there ever was… true love… always remember that your parents loved you. And they'll always be with you. Right here." He placed a hand over the boy's heart. "Trust in that."
Llacheu nodded. "Will you stay with me? Or will you go again?"
The young boy looked up at him with his familiar blue eyes and the warlock's heart crumbled. "I promised your father that I would take care of his family. So long as you need me, my king… I'll be here."
It is believed that the love between King Arthur and his Queen, Guinevere, is powerful enough to transcend through time and space. It has lived on for generations and will continue to be told and retold for many years to come. King Arthur once told his Queen that neither time, nor distance or even lifetimes could separate them. And that is why their love story is legendary. That is why it lives on today.
"We have always been. We shall always be. Not time, not distance, not lifetimes can do more than momentarily interrupt the coexistence we are meant to share." - Arthur to Guinevere ("Knight Life" by Peter David)