semester review? kind of...
Every semester seems like it is the hardest semester I’ve ever faced. Actually, that may be partially true. Each semester, I have new challenges and obstacles to overcome that I must learn to confront and work though. Its part of growing up...but it’s not always easy. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve had a lot of great things happen this semester, but I’ve also had some not so bright moments.
I actually took school seriously this semester for the first time ever. I had a lot of intrinsic motivation for achieving my grades this time around. I guess when I started to consider grad schools, I began to question the integrity and value of my undergraduate education.
I lost one of my good friends a few weeks ago. It’s a weird feeling...to think of the future with out her. It’s like, some dynamic of my life has been altered. I think her losing her was one of the hardest things in my life. I’m scared to visit her husband...more of facing the reality that I have been trying avoid. But, I know I need to and I know I need to visit her grave. It’s just something I have to do.
Every few months, I get this strong urge to just leave. Meaning, I want to get out of the country. It’s this odd notion that leaving everything I know here as life here gives me the chance to just be me. I love getting lost in little towns where no one speaks English and I have to find my way around. I love not knowing what people are saying around me. I love not knowing what is going on in the media. I love not having to live up to anyone’s expectations and not having to impress anyone. Why do I have to leave to get these feelings? That’s an issue I’m currently trying to sort out.
Anyways, with things settling down a lot in my life, I’ve had some time to figure out what is important to me. Now, I need to work on those things...I need to meet my own standards and hold myself accountable. Fun.
I actually took school seriously this semester for the first time ever. I had a lot of intrinsic motivation for achieving my grades this time around. I guess when I started to consider grad schools, I began to question the integrity and value of my undergraduate education.
I lost one of my good friends a few weeks ago. It’s a weird feeling...to think of the future with out her. It’s like, some dynamic of my life has been altered. I think her losing her was one of the hardest things in my life. I’m scared to visit her husband...more of facing the reality that I have been trying avoid. But, I know I need to and I know I need to visit her grave. It’s just something I have to do.
Every few months, I get this strong urge to just leave. Meaning, I want to get out of the country. It’s this odd notion that leaving everything I know here as life here gives me the chance to just be me. I love getting lost in little towns where no one speaks English and I have to find my way around. I love not knowing what people are saying around me. I love not knowing what is going on in the media. I love not having to live up to anyone’s expectations and not having to impress anyone. Why do I have to leave to get these feelings? That’s an issue I’m currently trying to sort out.
Anyways, with things settling down a lot in my life, I’ve had some time to figure out what is important to me. Now, I need to work on those things...I need to meet my own standards and hold myself accountable. Fun.