I sometimes wonder if I am or ever have been schizophrenic
My family is insane. I'm surprisingly well adjusted for someone living in the Buttfuck Kentucky Madhouse. And no, the fact that I'm more attracted to cartoon characters than real men and women does NOT count. *cough* Mozenrath *cough*
My brother has the mentality of a circus clown on heroine, only much less intelligent. He makes a point of devouring everything that won't kill him (and some things he's only moderately sure won't kill him) because he's spoiled in the worst sort of way. My mother (I'll get to her later), has ensured throughout his blessed life as the youngest of three and only boy that he never want for food or free time or expensive stereo equipment. In the process she ended up with two extremely jealous and overworked teenage girls that coincidentally start their periods at the same time every month without fail. Needless to say, this is not pretty around the full moon.
We're not teenagers anymore, my sis has a baby and I'm getting married next year, but that's beside the point.
My sister has her good days, her bad days, and her mad days. 'Good' as in; "Play dead and she'll ignore you", 'Bad' as in; "Careful, kid. She can smell fear.", and 'Mad' as in; "Run for your life, she's got a chainsaw!!" Note that this description is downplayed a bit to avoid frightening the idiot currently reading over my shoulder.
*Glares at her brother*
My mother is an angel plagued by the memory span of a hamster and the temper of a desert cobra suffering from heat exhaustion. Which scares me because, not only do I look exactly like her (Which is a blessing, believe me), but I have inherited her general dislike of the entire male gender.
The men of the world will bow down before my magnificent ethereal glory!!! Right after I teach them how to lift and replace the toilet seat properly...
Myself... well, I have a hard time explaining myself, split personality thing and all. But if I HAD to do it, it would go something like this...
Suzu is my evil side. She hates the world and everything in it... except beautiful women, because let's face it, she likes tits. She also has an attraction to tall, dark, evil sorcerers.
Do I really need to mention a name here?
Tiffany is my good side... well, as good as I can possibly get. She has an annoying tendency to torture Mozenrath in her sadistic stories but we forgive her because he deserves it, the evil bastard. She's the more literate of the two, which is why she's the one typing this instead of Suzu. We're getting tired now, so you can all go to hell for the rest of the description.
I may be just as bad off as the rest of my family after all...
Oh, fuck it.
Good night.
My brother has the mentality of a circus clown on heroine, only much less intelligent. He makes a point of devouring everything that won't kill him (and some things he's only moderately sure won't kill him) because he's spoiled in the worst sort of way. My mother (I'll get to her later), has ensured throughout his blessed life as the youngest of three and only boy that he never want for food or free time or expensive stereo equipment. In the process she ended up with two extremely jealous and overworked teenage girls that coincidentally start their periods at the same time every month without fail. Needless to say, this is not pretty around the full moon.
We're not teenagers anymore, my sis has a baby and I'm getting married next year, but that's beside the point.
My sister has her good days, her bad days, and her mad days. 'Good' as in; "Play dead and she'll ignore you", 'Bad' as in; "Careful, kid. She can smell fear.", and 'Mad' as in; "Run for your life, she's got a chainsaw!!" Note that this description is downplayed a bit to avoid frightening the idiot currently reading over my shoulder.
*Glares at her brother*
My mother is an angel plagued by the memory span of a hamster and the temper of a desert cobra suffering from heat exhaustion. Which scares me because, not only do I look exactly like her (Which is a blessing, believe me), but I have inherited her general dislike of the entire male gender.
The men of the world will bow down before my magnificent ethereal glory!!! Right after I teach them how to lift and replace the toilet seat properly...
Myself... well, I have a hard time explaining myself, split personality thing and all. But if I HAD to do it, it would go something like this...
Suzu is my evil side. She hates the world and everything in it... except beautiful women, because let's face it, she likes tits. She also has an attraction to tall, dark, evil sorcerers.
Do I really need to mention a name here?
Tiffany is my good side... well, as good as I can possibly get. She has an annoying tendency to torture Mozenrath in her sadistic stories but we forgive her because he deserves it, the evil bastard. She's the more literate of the two, which is why she's the one typing this instead of Suzu. We're getting tired now, so you can all go to hell for the rest of the description.
I may be just as bad off as the rest of my family after all...
Oh, fuck it.
Good night.