What I Did On My Holidays, by Suzie, age 31 and a half
Friday 4th July
You know the weekend's going to be slightly surreal when you get on the branch line train for the first stage of your journey and discover there's a camera crew from the local news on it. Under these circumstances, it is generally a bad idea to (a) recognise the cameraman (husband of a friend) and (b) say hello, as he will think it's funny to start filming you. Thus, I end up as a shot on the local news that night. Normally - as in every frickin' day - I would be going to work on that train and looking (vaguely) smart in a suit. But no, today I am going to London, in a scruffy shirt with my hair pulled back looking like a spanner. (I haven't watched it yet, I have that joy to look forward to). Anyway, the rest of the journey up was fairly uneventful, had two seats to myself all the way which was great and meant I could do some writing.
At Paddington, met up with rionaleonhart, who is lovely, and pounced on me like a long lost friend (or possibly she was going for my wallet, you never know). Having dumped my bag in Left Luggage (excuse me while I howl once again £6.50! Six pounds frickin' fifty! How much????) we headed for Waterloo and the big wheel. Sorry, Eye. There was a moment of confusion when the signpost pointed to a path that was closed off, until we looked up and realised that actually, that big wheel thing? We could see it over the buildings and thus going the right way probably wasn't going to be that complicated. Finding the London Eye, how hard can it be?
The size of the queue was faintly alarming, but we got our tickets anyway, having to walk past an unexpected!Pierce Brosnan/James Bond mannequin (I twigged later presumably this was something to do with the ticket deals they were doing for Madame Tussauds, but at the time it was very random). The queue moved pretty quickly in the event, and it only took about half an hour, which was mostly passed in discussion of zombie!Piers and Wincest. We were briefly alarmed by the fact the lady behind us had a bloody great knife confiscated from her (she was quite indignant, but they did promise she could have her pointy scissors back) and then discovered the worst job in the world - the man with the security detector rod thingy who has to ask thousands of sweaty tourists - on a really hot day - to raise their arms please. Eww.
The - trip? rotation? No, I refuse to call it flight, you stupid people - takes about 25 minutes and it was a perfect day to do it, really sunny. I'd refused to pay £3 for a bit of card telling me what buildings were what, so instead we picked out which landmarks had at some point been destroyed in Doctor Who...
At one point, they take a photo of the capsule, managing to capture us at the point we were distracted by a rather disturbing carving on the County Hall building (photos later). They charge something like £8.50 for this photo (yes I'm from the country I reserve the right to spend the trip being indignant about prices) so I took a photo of the display board it was on instead. My Cornish ingenuity, let me show it to you. Also, I got laughed at by the man standing next to me, who agreed it was a good idea.
We had an ice cream and wandered along the river, while I decided in how many different ways I'd like to dispose of the army of living statue people that were annoying me along the path. Seriously wizard, that bell? You'll not be pulling that out again in a hurry...
Said goodbye to Riona at Embankment, and headed back to Paddington to collect my bag, impulsively leaping off mid-journey to do a ten-minute tour of the National Gallery. Which is all you need, really. Saw Van Gogh's Sunflowers (wouldn't want it on my wall), Monet's Water Lilies (always had a fondness for Monet, and the chappy beginning with P who hangs on the next wall and whose name I can never remember), Constable's Haywain (very brown), that famous one with the dying bird in the vacuum thing with the amazing lighting, and some Canallettos (or is that pasta? I forget) of Venice that were simply stunning. The rest of it, largely, was a load of old toss I could take it or leave it.
Onwards to Hammersmith, to descend on starchild4298. We went out for curry, and thence to the pub, where we were distraught to find the beer was off because someone had joggled the barrels. Obviously something untoward happening in the cellar...
Saturday 5th July
Woke to the sound of pouring rain, but it had stopped when we ventured out for a fry-up, and by the time we headed out proper it was turning into another really lovely day. We headed for Streatham (incidentally Leese, my mum tells me my Gran used to live there too!) where we met up with sacred_sarcasm and headed onto the common for the start of the Streatham Festival. There were some very - local - acts, but also there were doughnuts and ice cream and sunshine, so yay! Also, an invitation to "come inside the whale". Yes, quite. (I did later wonder if this was actually a warning sign, like 'beware slippery floor'. No?)
Back to Hammersmith in time to watch Doctor Who, and scarf down a huge meatball pizza, before heading back to the pub, where, happily, the beer was back on.
Sunday 6th July
Another day, another fry up - different cafe today though. The weather had really broken today, providing miserably heavy drizzle, so by the time I met up with astrolabus in the pub at 2pm, despite my having had vaguely touristy intentions, we stayed firmly put until 7pm. What can I say, they served Cornish beer (sorry Leese - Pride is superb but nothing beats Doom Bar). We got back to about the last five minutes of Top Gear, and remained on the sofa in a mildly vegetative state for the rest of the evening. Sobering up to Sapphire and Steel? Interesting experience.
Monday 7th July
Ever had one of those Shaun of the Dead moments? We turned on the telly this morning to a news reporter standing in a crop circle, advising viewers 'not to look directly into the lights'. We decided if there was an alien invasion in progress, what we needed before anything else was tea, and fortunately by that point it turned out to be some sort of kids' prank show. But you know, if it had been an invasion, we were ready. After we'd had the bacon sandwiches, anyway.
You know the weekend's going to be slightly surreal when you get on the branch line train for the first stage of your journey and discover there's a camera crew from the local news on it. Under these circumstances, it is generally a bad idea to (a) recognise the cameraman (husband of a friend) and (b) say hello, as he will think it's funny to start filming you. Thus, I end up as a shot on the local news that night. Normally - as in every frickin' day - I would be going to work on that train and looking (vaguely) smart in a suit. But no, today I am going to London, in a scruffy shirt with my hair pulled back looking like a spanner. (I haven't watched it yet, I have that joy to look forward to). Anyway, the rest of the journey up was fairly uneventful, had two seats to myself all the way which was great and meant I could do some writing.
At Paddington, met up with rionaleonhart, who is lovely, and pounced on me like a long lost friend (or possibly she was going for my wallet, you never know). Having dumped my bag in Left Luggage (excuse me while I howl once again £6.50! Six pounds frickin' fifty! How much????) we headed for Waterloo and the big wheel. Sorry, Eye. There was a moment of confusion when the signpost pointed to a path that was closed off, until we looked up and realised that actually, that big wheel thing? We could see it over the buildings and thus going the right way probably wasn't going to be that complicated. Finding the London Eye, how hard can it be?
The size of the queue was faintly alarming, but we got our tickets anyway, having to walk past an unexpected!Pierce Brosnan/James Bond mannequin (I twigged later presumably this was something to do with the ticket deals they were doing for Madame Tussauds, but at the time it was very random). The queue moved pretty quickly in the event, and it only took about half an hour, which was mostly passed in discussion of zombie!Piers and Wincest. We were briefly alarmed by the fact the lady behind us had a bloody great knife confiscated from her (she was quite indignant, but they did promise she could have her pointy scissors back) and then discovered the worst job in the world - the man with the security detector rod thingy who has to ask thousands of sweaty tourists - on a really hot day - to raise their arms please. Eww.
The - trip? rotation? No, I refuse to call it flight, you stupid people - takes about 25 minutes and it was a perfect day to do it, really sunny. I'd refused to pay £3 for a bit of card telling me what buildings were what, so instead we picked out which landmarks had at some point been destroyed in Doctor Who...
At one point, they take a photo of the capsule, managing to capture us at the point we were distracted by a rather disturbing carving on the County Hall building (photos later). They charge something like £8.50 for this photo (yes I'm from the country I reserve the right to spend the trip being indignant about prices) so I took a photo of the display board it was on instead. My Cornish ingenuity, let me show it to you. Also, I got laughed at by the man standing next to me, who agreed it was a good idea.
We had an ice cream and wandered along the river, while I decided in how many different ways I'd like to dispose of the army of living statue people that were annoying me along the path. Seriously wizard, that bell? You'll not be pulling that out again in a hurry...
Said goodbye to Riona at Embankment, and headed back to Paddington to collect my bag, impulsively leaping off mid-journey to do a ten-minute tour of the National Gallery. Which is all you need, really. Saw Van Gogh's Sunflowers (wouldn't want it on my wall), Monet's Water Lilies (always had a fondness for Monet, and the chappy beginning with P who hangs on the next wall and whose name I can never remember), Constable's Haywain (very brown), that famous one with the dying bird in the vacuum thing with the amazing lighting, and some Canallettos (or is that pasta? I forget) of Venice that were simply stunning. The rest of it, largely, was a load of old toss I could take it or leave it.
Onwards to Hammersmith, to descend on starchild4298. We went out for curry, and thence to the pub, where we were distraught to find the beer was off because someone had joggled the barrels. Obviously something untoward happening in the cellar...
Saturday 5th July
Woke to the sound of pouring rain, but it had stopped when we ventured out for a fry-up, and by the time we headed out proper it was turning into another really lovely day. We headed for Streatham (incidentally Leese, my mum tells me my Gran used to live there too!) where we met up with sacred_sarcasm and headed onto the common for the start of the Streatham Festival. There were some very - local - acts, but also there were doughnuts and ice cream and sunshine, so yay! Also, an invitation to "come inside the whale". Yes, quite. (I did later wonder if this was actually a warning sign, like 'beware slippery floor'. No?)
Back to Hammersmith in time to watch Doctor Who, and scarf down a huge meatball pizza, before heading back to the pub, where, happily, the beer was back on.
Sunday 6th July
Another day, another fry up - different cafe today though. The weather had really broken today, providing miserably heavy drizzle, so by the time I met up with astrolabus in the pub at 2pm, despite my having had vaguely touristy intentions, we stayed firmly put until 7pm. What can I say, they served Cornish beer (sorry Leese - Pride is superb but nothing beats Doom Bar). We got back to about the last five minutes of Top Gear, and remained on the sofa in a mildly vegetative state for the rest of the evening. Sobering up to Sapphire and Steel? Interesting experience.
Monday 7th July
Ever had one of those Shaun of the Dead moments? We turned on the telly this morning to a news reporter standing in a crop circle, advising viewers 'not to look directly into the lights'. We decided if there was an alien invasion in progress, what we needed before anything else was tea, and fortunately by that point it turned out to be some sort of kids' prank show. But you know, if it had been an invasion, we were ready. After we'd had the bacon sandwiches, anyway.