dramatic...
I felt at ease. It was a comfort really. Here I was...breaking down and with one look this person wanted to put me back to together. Or so it seems. I don't know if I believe it. That is why I asked a second time. Because I didn't believe it. I'm not sure I do now either. Was it real? I feel as if I spoke of my happiness too soon. Maybe..maybe not..I just don't know. Skepticism and positivism are dueling right now. I was as if they could hear it in my voice or see it on my face...all the years. I feel as though I am underserving. That is silly I know. But if I could sum it up in one word as to what I am feeling it would be that. Can I explain why...sure. Will I? No. If only they knew that everything had bigger meaning. On the other hand...perhaps the offer would not have been made if they knew what a sentimental fool I am. Worthyness. My pessimist in me is saying such horrible things to make me doubt. My optimism speaks to me in smiles under my breath and giggling like a little girl. Am I really talking about this? I am so stupid. That is my pessimism talking. It overpowers me lately. But only on the inside. My eyes are getting dimmer. Sleep. My optimism says today was an amazing day. Okay, I've said my peace.