(no subject)
I'm feeling incredibly nostalgic today. For what would otherwise now be considered fairly ancient games. I miss them. I miss the characters. I miss the stories. I miss the environments. I miss the way they were played. I miss my fellow RPers.
I wonder what would have happened if we'd have continued on. And find myself wondering why is it RPs never really do find an ending. There's always that hollow echo of potential that haunts you forever, because even in the 'good old days' very few games ever really ended. Because no one ever really wants them to end. We don't expect them to end. So we just sort of carry on, blindly, blissfully happy. Writing a million posts a minute, in endless threads that taper off; and you never really notice it until years later when you go back and you're reading (when you have the luxury to) and you find yourself holding the frayed strands and you kind of want to scream (especially when it was your turn) because how could you have just left it there?! How could you have not noticed, why wasn't this thread as important to you as it should have been, and you know why. Because at the time, you had so much going on you prioritized, you had computer troubles and rl issues, and you had to focus on what you could, and sometimes that meant some things slipped through the cracks.
It's worse when there's nothing to hold on to but the memories. The archives gone, and the emails purged and all the servers wiped and you can still remember bright spots, but there's no way to really go back and fully immerse again.
Then again, there really is no way to go back at all.
I really miss it all.
I wonder what would have happened if we'd have continued on. And find myself wondering why is it RPs never really do find an ending. There's always that hollow echo of potential that haunts you forever, because even in the 'good old days' very few games ever really ended. Because no one ever really wants them to end. We don't expect them to end. So we just sort of carry on, blindly, blissfully happy. Writing a million posts a minute, in endless threads that taper off; and you never really notice it until years later when you go back and you're reading (when you have the luxury to) and you find yourself holding the frayed strands and you kind of want to scream (especially when it was your turn) because how could you have just left it there?! How could you have not noticed, why wasn't this thread as important to you as it should have been, and you know why. Because at the time, you had so much going on you prioritized, you had computer troubles and rl issues, and you had to focus on what you could, and sometimes that meant some things slipped through the cracks.
It's worse when there's nothing to hold on to but the memories. The archives gone, and the emails purged and all the servers wiped and you can still remember bright spots, but there's no way to really go back and fully immerse again.
Then again, there really is no way to go back at all.
I really miss it all.