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I can't...I mean, I don't even...WHAT?! No, seriously. WHAT!!
For the most part, this issue was really freaking predictable.
Billy gets his ass handed to him. YA show up to rescue him. Wonder Man shows up to save Wanda. The Avengers hitch hike. Simon is not fooled for one moment. There's some sort of Doom coup. (surprise, surprise. Watch me wait on the FF to guest star soon.) Doom heals Billy and Billy is all 'omg, Doctor Doom knows who I am! *fanboy pinwheels*' Then shows remarkable (clearly Lensherr) backbone. Like he talks to Doom like he's been personally fighting the guy for the entirety of his superheroing career. I guess fandom really does count for something, eh, Billy? Doom offers Billy protection and I was all 'Oh My God, Billy, Doom wants to adopt you.' Only to go 'HOLY SHIT, Billy, Doom wants to ADOPT you!!1' like a sentence later. Billy is all 'And what if I refuse?' like a good little Avenger. And then in a big (not at all really) surprise reveal, Doom proceeds to tell Billy he's depowered him. SHOCK AND HORROR!!
Of course, this doesn't matter much, because Mags is all 'Rawr, give me back my Grandson!' and starts flinging ships around - probably more than he ought to. Eli gets snarky, Mags responds: Patriot, do you have any idea how much energy is required to keep these ships from falling and crushing the life out of you when you speak to me with such disrespect? And I'm all 'Ha, ha, Mags. No really.' Of course, NO ONE is on Eli's side, and they're all 'shut up, Eli, okay? TO THE RESCUE!!!' Pietro actually has a pretty decent plan, that is actually thought out and comes from actual experience. As he is dividing their forces and informing the team, he notices the kids all staring off into space. When he asks them what they're "gawking at" Tommy proceeds to point out the Avengers standing in the way.
Wanda meanwhile is all curious and sneaks into Billy's room to show him her sexy wedding dress (and he is actually impressed) and they strike up a bargain. He'll tell her about the Scarlet Witch if she gets him out of there. So they go sneaking off into the bowels of the castle together and Billy tells it like it is. Except JUST (of course) as he's getting to the part about himself and Tommy, they reach outside. And they see a classic Avengers style battle going down. Billy has a moment of clarity all "What have I done?" And out of nowhere Wolverine replies, "Everything we told you not to, kid. You teamed up with Magneto...You started a war with Doom...And I'll be damned if I know HOW...But you actually found the Scarlet Witch...Which makes my job so much easier."
Billy is all 'Noooooo! Moooooooom!' And Logan is all 'RAWRSNICKETY!' and then instead of killing Wanda he goes about giving his reasoning for wanting HER dead, if not Billy. So it's sort of Billy by proxy, in the event Billy one day sneezes so hard his brain warps him evil and he tries to wipe out everyone and everything he knows and loves. You know, goes power happy the Lensherr way. Billy (still not a shocker) gets in the WAY. He's unpowered, Wanda's unpowered, but Billy looks pissed enough that if he WERE powered (and he probably just THINKS he's not - which goes a LOOOONG way with Billy) Logan would be a bug smear on the Latvernian cobblestone pavement.
Logan apparently decides 'to hell with this, two birds one claw arm' and goes in for the kill only to be shot down by laser cannon fire. IRON fucking LAD's pulsebeam laser freaking cannon fire!!!
IRON LAD who is BACK FROM THE FUTURE (AGAIN, AGAIN) to PROTECT BILLY because "The FUTURE depends on it."!!!!!!!!!1!!!
Which, this would not have been all that hokey EXCEPT they shaved off a couple of PAGES in order to give us "The AGE of X" previews. In which, apparently "What [we] knew was wrong!" For you see, The X-Men NEVER EXISTED. *bangs head*
*BANGS HEAD SOME MORE*
EVERYONE gets a new look, some old favorites new codenames, but like...Is this BILLY'S fault? Is it KILLING Billy that will bring this about?! Do Wanda and Billy bust a nut at the same time and just say 'the fuck with you all?! CTRL+ALT+DEL'
Or did you SERIOUSLY just short change us to do your usual 'and go Lookit THIS new shiny! WHEEEE! WE HAVE NO IDEA WHAT WE'RE DOING ANYMORE!!!'
Whether or not this has to do with Billy, Wanda, the YA....the turns in this issue are just so boggling. Because, you SEE them coming, we've all SEEN them coming since YA series 1 ended, but, seriously? SERIOUSLY?! NOW is the right time?! Thank you oodles and oodles. Damn it, Heinberg! You don't pull this shit on a comic released every 2 months, only slated for a grand total of 9 issues and expect to walk away all LAH DE FRIGGIN' DAH! Don't be a dick, man. We've suffered more than our fair share here.
And now...pics:
You can take the powers out of the Superhero, but you can't take the fanboy out.
Oh Eli...What a Captain America you will make.
Ah the romantic reaging. Again. Billy is this how you see it? Which one is supposed to be you?
And the Damn it, Kaplan moment arises!
I just HAD to. Oh Tommy, the LOVE! <333333~~*
This just makes me laugh. Every damn time. Oh Billy, honey...no.
Hello there, Nate! Did you stop by as soon as you got back, or whut? Time travel and Marvel always equals 'Nuff Said.
And heeeeeere we go.....