(no subject)
To begin, I'd like to introduce you all (or at least those of you who don't already know him) to my dog, Shiloh.
Have some cuteness, that is relevant to this rant:
Friendly, happy puppy.
Is this the face of a killer? I think not.
Sweetness, really.
Shiloh, if you have not met him, is a super friendly, very sweet and happy dog who loves everyone. To the point that I have been saying since we got him that he is no guard dog. He would gleefully greet any potential robbers, happily show them around his house, demand love, merrily watch them rob us and cheerily go off with them. We do not even tie him to posts and wander into stores we cannot see him through a plate glass window. This is a dog who needs a guard dog.
This is a dog who patiently caters to babies, tolerates toddlers, and engages children. He has had crayons stuck in his ears, been used as a step stool and a baby walker, been used as a landing pad for self induced toddler couch launchings...Stray cats rub all over him purring and wild birds land on his head. He's been fallen on, tripped over, tugged on and pushed around by infants to the elderly and he has rarely complained. My dog is a little saint, and I am not saying that because he is mine. Ask anyone.
So it always amuses me when people are apparently scared of him. Hell he's not even all that big. He's a medium sized hound. I respect people though, and their fears, so I try to be obliging. If I notice someone is scared, I will call him over, or step closer to him and wind the leash until he is beside me and passing is up to you. Smart people acknowledge this, nod/smile and continue on their way. Really frightened people tend to just cross the street. Which is fine.
Enter: "Big, bad" hoodrat. Picture your sterotypical hispanic gangbanger and you've got this guy on the nose. This man, for whatever reason, is afraid of my dog. Which is fine, who am I to judge. But when you take your fucking phobias out on me, you had better be fucking praying my dog does not know attack commands.
This guy lumbers down the block every night, looms behind me like he's sizing me up to be mugged or worse, but still keeps about a good foot from my dog. And every night, he proceeds to curse at me and worse, because my little dog is peacefully minding his own business sniffing a tree and he refuses to pass. Okay, YOU come up behind ME every god damn night. You clearly see me and my dog walking, and you choose NOT to cross the street. You choose, every night, to harass me like I'm actually pulling shit on you.
Yes, fuckwit, I hole up in my living room peering through dark curtains to wait for juuust the right moment to venture outside to be walking down the block and devilishly allow my dog to sniff trees and lampposts then raise his leg and pee, JUST so I can get some sort of sick satisfaction out of clearly fucking up your night. So that you can come up behind ME, sometimes from as much as HALF A BLOCK, and rail at me for having my dog in your way. If you have such a problem with it, cross the fucking street, you pansy ass little bitch! Stop being a gutter raised douchebag, do yourself a favor and walk around a motherfucking car every now and again.
You know, I used to want to train a big ass dog to growl on command for the dipstick catcallers. But it's fuckers like these that really burn me. I want to be able to scare the everloving shit out of him. Nobody fucked with me when I had a German Shepherd. And she was a sweetheart! I want two now. Big, hulking males who I will take to a K9 training class so I can walk one on each side and have them growl down the souls of jerkoffs like this.
It's really too fucking bad I can't get anything else with fur or I'd be kicked out. Hell, just ONE Shepherd would do!
This guy wants to test his luck, he can fucking try it. My Shotokan may be rusty as hell, but I can still hurt you, asshat. And good luck with the dog. I've already been attacked in his presence twice. He's shredded worse than you.
Bring it, bitch. We will send you to the hospital, flip you off as they wheel you away, and you will need a new route wherever the hell you go every night. Because the best thing about a hound? They never forget a scent. And boy...you would not like my precious baby to put you on his shit list. Because the next time I'm not doing you any fucking favors. I am loosing his leash and your ass better move.