Between hell and heaven
Hankyung was stumbling around his room for a while. No one came. No one heard. Only he and his steps but soon his feet felt so tired that he just fell on his comfortable bed and fell asleep instantly. But he didn’t found the peace he was looking for. The dream was heart freezing and breathe taking. The only one after which he felt like drowning into the world of misery.
“Please no… don’t do that.”
“You’ll be dead. All of your family will be dead.”
“But please save them. Just please save them.”
BANG
Hankyung woke up with a start his forehead covered with sweats and breathe uneven. “It’s just a dream. It’s just a dream. Nothing of that is true. Is it?” guessing, that‘s how he ends up after every dream that looked painfully true. He fell back in his pillows. It was soothing just like a sweet touch or warmth of other body. But he felt cold; anything of these usual human needing things wasn’t helping to feel like at home or as normal person. There were things distracting and memories coming but he couldn’t bring them together to fit the missing pieces of the puzzle. He have no idea how he was living his life before the accident. Was he happy? Had he a family or friends? Was someone chasing after him? Was there any bad thing he has done? And most of all who was he?
Hankyung looked at the clock. “8:30… I should get up.” He took the blankets off and shivered by the cold wind that accompany him in this small room. Once again he forgot to close it before sleep. This small apartment was his place for last two months after he woke up in a hospital room all alone and with no idea what’s going on. And so he didn’t found out anything about his past only that someone get him here and then leave without registering his name. So then doctors thought that it was just someone who had a good heart and don’t want him to die.
But Hankyung had other thoughts about that.
The night after the wake up someone was in his room. And that someone was talking about something.
Don’t forget I’ll find you
Soon hannie... Soon we’ll be together again.
Just wait…
The voice was soothing, sweet and most of all it somehow woke up strange feelings hidden deep in his heart. Before he could move, grab his wrist or say a word he was gone into the dark out of the hospital and maybe gone forever. Only God knows what he was trying to tell him.
How could he know that with him was left all of his secrets, wishes and most of all his hopes to live a peaceful life? But right now he knew nothing only that it’s another ordinary day or as ordinary he can make it. He walked in the really small kitchen found a cup and made himself a hot coffee. It wasn’t his favorite drink; it was just keeping awake and aware of what’s going on.
He was feeling lost time by time as much as his head hurt when remembered some pieces of something. That something seemed to be more hurtful than he wanted to admit. That broken pieces were killing him bit by bit.
But he stayed strong, there was another day ahead and there is no place of being sad. They all are dreams and pieces of something far, far away and long forgotten.
Why then he doesn’t feel like that?
He knew no one and no one wanted to know him. He just walked to his job, worked there all day and went home. No one waited and it felt so empty. It was depressing. Who would like to live like this? And why he can’t stop thinking about that night in the hospital? Why that voice seems so familiar right now?
Was there outside someone who cared about him? Someone who knew something he doesn’t? Maybe his past, life and family…. Was it worth to think about that? Was there any way he can found out that?
He was out in the grocery shop. The food was going to end soon so he though it will be a good idea to buy new now.
“Oh hi... What are you doing here?” a familiar voice snapped him out of his thoughts and he looked up. In front of him was standing the only boy at his work that was trying to be friendly and help him with a lot of things. How he remembered his name was DongHae.
“As you see I’m running out of food so I went to buy something.” Hankyung explained before taking some snacks and putting in his shopping bag.
“Well the same with me. But wait are you living in this area?” he gave Hankyung a surprised look before putting something in his shopping bag also along the way to drinks.
“Yes. My place is just few houses after the shop.”
“But this is a bad area to live in. I have heard that there are a lot of gangs wandering around and many of people have been seriously injured by them or shoot with a gunshot.”
“But where are you living then?” Hankyung was merely interested in that. He was distracted by thought that there were many people get injured by gunshots and wasn’t that what happened in the night he got in hospital. He got his injury by gunshot. He felt that it isn’t a coincidence that his place is in this area. He felt that he have been connected with all this gang life. After all, this apartment has belonged to him long time before. That was the only thing he had from his previous life. But as he got out of hospital he found nothing related to himself in it, only those old bed sheets he throw out the next day he got salary from the part time job in the restaurant he was working as waiter.
“I get here with a bus since the shop near my house was closed.” DongHae smiled childishly.
“Oh…”
“Fuck you whores. Get him out of here.”
“Please…”
“Kill them.”
Hankyung grabbed his head into his hands and kneeled on floor. “The pain... The pain...” he mumbled. Was it ever going to stop? What’s going on? Was that once again some parts of his memories? He completely forgot that there was DongHae throwing a worried look at him before kneeling besides. He put his hands on Hankyung’s shoulder and when their gazes met he was able to tell that something was deeply wrong.
“What’s wrong?’ his voice was soothing and sweet and reminded he of someone he knew or it’s just his imagination once again.
“I… my… my head hurts.”
“Do you need some help? I can call to get help.” As DongHae get up and wanted to walk away Hankyung grabbed his wrist and pulled back down.
“Doesn’t need, it will stop soon. There is nothing that can help me.” Hankyung nearly whispered. He felt weak and vulnerable. For the first time someone other than just doctors have seen his pain but was happy that at least he was willing to help.
“But…”
Hankyung g cut him off with his next words that left DongHae confused.
“I think it’s a side effect.”
“Side effect of what?”
“Of the loss of memory.”
“You have lost your memory?” DongHae was near shock. That was something he would expect the less of him.
Hankyung can only nod since he can’t think straight of the pain and voice in his head. What’s going on with him?
“Since when?”
“It’s already two months.”
“That’s before you started to work with us.” That was less than question, than statement.
“Yes…”
Suddenly as fast as it appeared the pain was gone and he stood up straight once again. DongHae picked up his shopping bag for him along with his own. He gave one last worried look before asking. “Are you okay?”
“I feel better. The pain is gone.” Hankyung smiled thankful about his concern.
“You know what? I think I’ll go with you back to your apartment.” DongHae suggested when they finally walked out of store with full bags of food. Hankyung was ready to smile again. He didn’t know that being with someone is that much fun. After he got better back in the store DongHae tried to be funny and entertaining and Hankyung found himself laughing along the crazy stories he made up. It was almost unreal how easy he gets along with DongHae. That even scared him.
“There is no need.”
“No there is a need. I will be worried if I don’t see you safe in your apartment.”
“But…. Why you do care about me?” As he couldn’t find any good reason in his head he just decided to ask.
“I want to be your friend.”
“Please no… don’t do that.”
“You’ll be dead. All of your family will be dead.”
“But please save them. Just please save them.”
BANG
Hankyung woke up with a start his forehead covered with sweats and breathe uneven. “It’s just a dream. It’s just a dream. Nothing of that is true. Is it?” guessing, that‘s how he ends up after every dream that looked painfully true. He fell back in his pillows. It was soothing just like a sweet touch or warmth of other body. But he felt cold; anything of these usual human needing things wasn’t helping to feel like at home or as normal person. There were things distracting and memories coming but he couldn’t bring them together to fit the missing pieces of the puzzle. He have no idea how he was living his life before the accident. Was he happy? Had he a family or friends? Was someone chasing after him? Was there any bad thing he has done? And most of all who was he?
Hankyung looked at the clock. “8:30… I should get up.” He took the blankets off and shivered by the cold wind that accompany him in this small room. Once again he forgot to close it before sleep. This small apartment was his place for last two months after he woke up in a hospital room all alone and with no idea what’s going on. And so he didn’t found out anything about his past only that someone get him here and then leave without registering his name. So then doctors thought that it was just someone who had a good heart and don’t want him to die.
But Hankyung had other thoughts about that.
The night after the wake up someone was in his room. And that someone was talking about something.
Don’t forget I’ll find you
Soon hannie... Soon we’ll be together again.
Just wait…
The voice was soothing, sweet and most of all it somehow woke up strange feelings hidden deep in his heart. Before he could move, grab his wrist or say a word he was gone into the dark out of the hospital and maybe gone forever. Only God knows what he was trying to tell him.
How could he know that with him was left all of his secrets, wishes and most of all his hopes to live a peaceful life? But right now he knew nothing only that it’s another ordinary day or as ordinary he can make it. He walked in the really small kitchen found a cup and made himself a hot coffee. It wasn’t his favorite drink; it was just keeping awake and aware of what’s going on.
He was feeling lost time by time as much as his head hurt when remembered some pieces of something. That something seemed to be more hurtful than he wanted to admit. That broken pieces were killing him bit by bit.
But he stayed strong, there was another day ahead and there is no place of being sad. They all are dreams and pieces of something far, far away and long forgotten.
Why then he doesn’t feel like that?
He knew no one and no one wanted to know him. He just walked to his job, worked there all day and went home. No one waited and it felt so empty. It was depressing. Who would like to live like this? And why he can’t stop thinking about that night in the hospital? Why that voice seems so familiar right now?
Was there outside someone who cared about him? Someone who knew something he doesn’t? Maybe his past, life and family…. Was it worth to think about that? Was there any way he can found out that?
He was out in the grocery shop. The food was going to end soon so he though it will be a good idea to buy new now.
“Oh hi... What are you doing here?” a familiar voice snapped him out of his thoughts and he looked up. In front of him was standing the only boy at his work that was trying to be friendly and help him with a lot of things. How he remembered his name was DongHae.
“As you see I’m running out of food so I went to buy something.” Hankyung explained before taking some snacks and putting in his shopping bag.
“Well the same with me. But wait are you living in this area?” he gave Hankyung a surprised look before putting something in his shopping bag also along the way to drinks.
“Yes. My place is just few houses after the shop.”
“But this is a bad area to live in. I have heard that there are a lot of gangs wandering around and many of people have been seriously injured by them or shoot with a gunshot.”
“But where are you living then?” Hankyung was merely interested in that. He was distracted by thought that there were many people get injured by gunshots and wasn’t that what happened in the night he got in hospital. He got his injury by gunshot. He felt that it isn’t a coincidence that his place is in this area. He felt that he have been connected with all this gang life. After all, this apartment has belonged to him long time before. That was the only thing he had from his previous life. But as he got out of hospital he found nothing related to himself in it, only those old bed sheets he throw out the next day he got salary from the part time job in the restaurant he was working as waiter.
“I get here with a bus since the shop near my house was closed.” DongHae smiled childishly.
“Oh…”
“Fuck you whores. Get him out of here.”
“Please…”
“Kill them.”
Hankyung grabbed his head into his hands and kneeled on floor. “The pain... The pain...” he mumbled. Was it ever going to stop? What’s going on? Was that once again some parts of his memories? He completely forgot that there was DongHae throwing a worried look at him before kneeling besides. He put his hands on Hankyung’s shoulder and when their gazes met he was able to tell that something was deeply wrong.
“What’s wrong?’ his voice was soothing and sweet and reminded he of someone he knew or it’s just his imagination once again.
“I… my… my head hurts.”
“Do you need some help? I can call to get help.” As DongHae get up and wanted to walk away Hankyung grabbed his wrist and pulled back down.
“Doesn’t need, it will stop soon. There is nothing that can help me.” Hankyung nearly whispered. He felt weak and vulnerable. For the first time someone other than just doctors have seen his pain but was happy that at least he was willing to help.
“But…”
Hankyung g cut him off with his next words that left DongHae confused.
“I think it’s a side effect.”
“Side effect of what?”
“Of the loss of memory.”
“You have lost your memory?” DongHae was near shock. That was something he would expect the less of him.
Hankyung can only nod since he can’t think straight of the pain and voice in his head. What’s going on with him?
“Since when?”
“It’s already two months.”
“That’s before you started to work with us.” That was less than question, than statement.
“Yes…”
Suddenly as fast as it appeared the pain was gone and he stood up straight once again. DongHae picked up his shopping bag for him along with his own. He gave one last worried look before asking. “Are you okay?”
“I feel better. The pain is gone.” Hankyung smiled thankful about his concern.
“You know what? I think I’ll go with you back to your apartment.” DongHae suggested when they finally walked out of store with full bags of food. Hankyung was ready to smile again. He didn’t know that being with someone is that much fun. After he got better back in the store DongHae tried to be funny and entertaining and Hankyung found himself laughing along the crazy stories he made up. It was almost unreal how easy he gets along with DongHae. That even scared him.
“There is no need.”
“No there is a need. I will be worried if I don’t see you safe in your apartment.”
“But…. Why you do care about me?” As he couldn’t find any good reason in his head he just decided to ask.
“I want to be your friend.”