Nov 16, 2004 21:53
hey guys! well brit and david came to my window and threw rocks at it and i was sleepin bc i have been stressed out and i was shaking from wakin up so fast in shock! but brti had to go before her mom came home and i was feelin well so i made david leave! i feel like i dont no who i am and what i want anymore! im so confused, i want to go to columbia university but i no i can only do that if i have no fun! lets face it i am all about fun but i just dont no anymore! i better find out wut i want before finals bc if i want to go to columbia i am gonna have to study my ass off!!!!!!!! on top of all that i have to prac. for dance so i can get a high enough grade on my final to move up into intermidiate next year! i was gonna go to disney with the dance department but my mom doesnt want to pay that much money for me to go for a couple of days wen my class isnt performing but i have tickets to go anytime so im gonna go with my mom and brittany right after the last day of skool! yay! i cant wait it is gonna be aweosome! Brit's mom better let her go or im gonna kidnap her lol! i feel bad bc i wasnt there fo rdavid today when he needed me, but i feel like i wouldnt help him as much as brit can, it just seems like they r better together as bestfriends than me and her! im not sayin it is bad i just wish i was more of a friend. it seems wen ever i need help i never ask for it bc i want to work it out by myself without burdining anyone else! i no my friends r there for me but i just dont no y i do it to myself! i no im hard on myself sometimes but i dunno! david said he luved me and he said it with truth.....i think! but my heart isnt there, i find it hard to trust guys now! i feel bad i cant say it back but i dont want to lead him on! wow this intry is personal lol! well ill type late rbc i have more homework to do! luv ya guys!
~angie