don't you think?

[susuyu]

it's raining so hard right now...i can hear it right behind me. and he suffers. i read a sentence that weighs a whole lot...it weighs me down and lifts me at the same time. how???? japanese mutterings to my right, mandarin exclamations to my left. useless...i'm feeling. the pursuit of peace...i'm trying to understand. bulletproof...i wish i was. i can't believe i'mstillmadatyou but i am...shameful right? because you care to know me, you know the date on which i got my hair cut and what i am doing tomorrow and the words i scream into my steering wheel. (scratch that last one.) what does this mean? you make me wanna smoke crack. or take a brush to stretched fabric. people are stirring all the time...this distance grows exponentially. tonight i watched a funny movie. i can't stay mad. something i heard from the blaring box (the box that kills) reminded me. darling you shouldn't have stayed. i told a lie to the one person i really trust (i have no excuses)....sooo i take a pen to a notebook but nothing comes out except for some nice generic rambles. intruder-safe nothing is but that doesn't pardon my lack of assertion. don't make that face at me!
i want need to understand love. the rain dulls down.
my heart comes undone...slowly unravels...the devil collects it...with a grin.