(no subject)
I am terrified of teaching, which is an odd statement to make for someone who has nearly chosen it as a career. The idea that a year of twenty-five children's education will be my responsibility seems absolutely ludicrous. I can barely be held responsible for my own education, much less a large group of children. And, at this point, my education is largely unnecessary. By "unnecessary," I mean that an advanced degree is useless in our future post-apocalyptic world. However, for the current, to get a job that pays more than ten dollars per hour, it is required for me to get an advanced degree (considering that I have no other marketable skills.)
I have gotten to the point in my observations/pre-internship (effectively spending two days a week in a first grade class where I will eventually do my student teaching). I enjoy the class and the students very much, but am absolutely horrified at the idea of addressing the students as a whole group. I do very well with small groups, up to five or six, and the students all seem to like me. However, I can't imagine trying to guide a lesson with a large group and have it somehow be even remotely successful, without taking into consideration the fact that a few of my lessons must be videotaped and critiqued, a 40-year veteran teacher will be watching and possibly critiquing me, and some random guy who was appointed as my "field supervisor" will also be watching and taking many notes to talk with me about later on.
On a whole, I miss my undergraduate career. If this is adulthood, I'll take my post-adolescence back in a second. I miss being a useless substitute who worked with special ed kids, going to school with the intention of doing a Master's program. Actually being in a Master's program is ridiculous, a surprisingly high amount of work, and a lot of stress.
The worst part about graduate school is that everyone else postures. I have few to discuss my inadequacies and fears with, simply because there aren't as many honest people in the profession as I'd hoped. I enjoy most of the people in my program, but so many of them are terribly pretentious that I have no idea how to talk to them.
On the plus side, I've decided to start taking notes in a way that can be cataloged. Although it is much too late, it is good to have an idea of how to effectively take notes in order to maximize referencing. It involves having a table of contents at the front of a notebook, and to purchase quality notebooks. My frugality has, thus far, disabled me from spending more than ten cents on any given notebook, but if I jump into the 2-3 dollar range, I can get something that will hold up more effectively.
I have gotten to the point in my observations/pre-internship (effectively spending two days a week in a first grade class where I will eventually do my student teaching). I enjoy the class and the students very much, but am absolutely horrified at the idea of addressing the students as a whole group. I do very well with small groups, up to five or six, and the students all seem to like me. However, I can't imagine trying to guide a lesson with a large group and have it somehow be even remotely successful, without taking into consideration the fact that a few of my lessons must be videotaped and critiqued, a 40-year veteran teacher will be watching and possibly critiquing me, and some random guy who was appointed as my "field supervisor" will also be watching and taking many notes to talk with me about later on.
On a whole, I miss my undergraduate career. If this is adulthood, I'll take my post-adolescence back in a second. I miss being a useless substitute who worked with special ed kids, going to school with the intention of doing a Master's program. Actually being in a Master's program is ridiculous, a surprisingly high amount of work, and a lot of stress.
The worst part about graduate school is that everyone else postures. I have few to discuss my inadequacies and fears with, simply because there aren't as many honest people in the profession as I'd hoped. I enjoy most of the people in my program, but so many of them are terribly pretentious that I have no idea how to talk to them.
On the plus side, I've decided to start taking notes in a way that can be cataloged. Although it is much too late, it is good to have an idea of how to effectively take notes in order to maximize referencing. It involves having a table of contents at the front of a notebook, and to purchase quality notebooks. My frugality has, thus far, disabled me from spending more than ten cents on any given notebook, but if I jump into the 2-3 dollar range, I can get something that will hold up more effectively.