Fresh and Safe
I'm sitting here eating baby sweetcorn that's six or seven days past the use by date because my girlfriend's gone away and left me to fend for myself for two weeks. It's not that I'm too lazy to cook it's just that cooking for one seems so redundant. Use by dates are for shit anyway, they mean nothing. This little corn says it was grown by someone called "fresh and safe" so it must be fine. Although fresh and safe does sound like something that would be more at home on the side of a box of Durex condoms and every time I eat one though it tastes like I'm eating dust and despair, I rejoice because the packaging tells me this is a "Product of Thailand" so if my girlfriend calls and asks if I ate lunch today I'll say I had Thai food, which wouldn't be a lie.